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From Yahoo: What surprised you most during the first year of your marriage?

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/first-year-of-marriage-shockers-what-surprised-you-most-2524270/

Want to play?

Good:  We transitioned into living together and managing finances so easily.  He wanted control of the finances and I wanted to give it to him.

Not so Good:  I became more aware of how much my husband worries.  When he was a bachelor, nothing really bothered him.  When we got married, the pressure of being responsible for 2 other people really manifested itself in ways I had never seen before.

Re: From Yahoo: What surprised you most during the first year of your marriage?

  • I've only been married 5 months, but I'll play!

    Good:  He shares the housework.  Like, amazingly.  I would even say that he does more than me most days.  He is not the lazy, sit-on-the-couch, and the-wife-does-everything-type.  Thank GOODNESS for responsible husbands!

    Not so good:  He gets a little funny if I have something with my old last name on it.  He makes it a point to call me "Mssssss. Maiden Name".  I never would have pegged him to act like that about it!  It's kind of cute though.  :)  He almost acts like "that's MY wife, with MY name" about it.

  • I saw this earlier!  I'm in the same boat, I've only been married 4 1/2 months :)

    The Good:  Being able to come home together and know that you've got someone you can count on and who knows you better than almost anyone else.

    The Bad:  DH doesn't have a whole lot of experience living on his own, so there are a ton of little responsibilities he's having to get used to quickly.  I have to remember that I was there once, and it took a few years for me to get the hang of it, so I need to keep being patient.   

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  • I didn't have time to read the article, but I'll play anyway:

    The Good: This is more about myself, but I am so much more confident in our relationship.  I was less distraught when he worked out of town, even though he was gone longer than ever before, than I was when he'd work away while dating.  I am more confident about approaching big topics, like extended family, than when we were dating. 

    The Bad: I am lame and can't think of anything at the moment.  When I think of something I'll come back and add it :)

  • Good: When he was unemployed he picked up almost all of the housework without me asking which was awesome. 

    He got more protective in little gestures of holding me closer when we are out in large crowds, he also calls out curbs when I am not paying attention in public (this may sound stupid but I get distracted easily).  I am not sure if he did these two before but I swear he didnt.

     Bad: There really hasnt been much bad that has been worse or different than before marriage.  The hardest or worst thing of the last 4 months has been the unemployment but that was going on before the wedding and is now over.  Thank goodness.

  • We lived together for 1.5 years before we got married, so there weren't a whole lot of household/living surprises in our first year of being wed. But I was surprised by how some of the dynamic of our relationship changed.

    Good Surprises: You truly feel part of a team, there is an absolute sense of knowing someone has your back - we always supported each other, but it seemed to become more apparent once we were married. We created our own family by choice - I wasn't expecting it to have the strong (but subtle) effect that it did.

    Not-So-Good Surprises: I experienced some of the change that Steph did with her DH - but I am the one who became the worrier. Ironically, I am also the person who is in charge of the finances. Coincidence? I definitely think the two are closely related. DH is awesome in many ways, but we were raised very differently regarding budget and planning for the future....so yeah. It's a work in progress Wink

    Can't wait to see what how everyone else responds!!! 

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  • imagebsn1752:

    I've only been married 5 months, but I'll play!

    Good:  He shares the housework.  Like, amazingly.  I would even say that he does more than me most days.  He is not the lazy, sit-on-the-couch, and the-wife-does-everything-type.  Thank GOODNESS for responsible husbands!

    Not so good:  He gets a little funny if I have something with my old last name on it.  He makes it a point to call me "Mssssss. Maiden Name".  I never would have pegged him to act like that about it!  It's kind of cute though.  :)  He almost acts like "that's MY wife, with MY name" about it.

    Amen. Hallelujah. Totally.

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  • hahaha... From my two months I want to play! Granted we had a lot of change once the wedding hit.

     Good things: Obviously, living together and just being together without getting grief for it. Like Brianna, Husband has been super helpful with house hold things. I think we just started functioning better as a couple!

    Bad things: I hate this name change stuff! Also, dividing our time with my family vs his family and my friends vs his friends. Since we both grew up in DFW our family and friends have a lot going on all the time and dividing our time recently has been difficult.

  • Good things: Before we were married we both paid our bills separately and tended to kind of have his and hers money. Now we have our money and DH is very chill about things. Since leaving my FT job, I bring home about 10% of our money and I really appreciate him not feeling like it is "his" money that I am spending.

    Bad things: We are both very close with our families. So much so that two Christmases ago (our engaged Christmas) was the first Christmas we spent together even though we were dating for 4 Christmases prior. Now that we are married we both hate missing out on our family holidays but make compromises and alternate years to make everyone happy.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Good: I feel like we are a family unit.  Is that lame?  Haha.  I feel like we support each other and work together and are traveling in the same direction.

    Bad: I'm going to echo PP.  Last year was the first time we split up the holidays and it was really hard.  I'm used to seeing my family for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I didn't seem them for Christmas last year and that was really hard.  It's impossible to see both, because my family is a 7 hour drive North and his family is a 7 hour drive South.

  • Been together 7.5 years, married 3.5...

    Good : We were finally TOGETHER. My parents asked us to please not live together before we were married, and out of respect for them (and their generous payment for our wedding), we didn't. And for the last 2 years of our pre-wedding relationship, we were actually living 4 hours apart! I missed him so much. Not having to say goodnight on the phone was my favorite part about finally being married.

    Bad : His mother. End of story. It's FINALLY getting better, thank God. But you guys wouldn't believe some of the MIL stories I have. Told me I looked fat in my wedding dress, told Mack that Dorothy probably wasn't his, etc... it's tough, to say the least.

    imageimg
  • We've been together 5 years, married 4.5 months

    Good: Although we lived together before we got engaged, we spent this last year apart (I was in FL, he was in TX).  Finally being together again and being completely by ourselves (no roommates), is the best.  Also, same as a PP, since I left my job to move out here to be with him, I currently don't bring in ANY income (will be once the school year begins and I start subbing) and he doesn't treat it as "his" money only -- even though I'm much more cautious about spending it than he is!

    Bad: Being so far away from family has been the hardest on us... my family is in VA, his in FL.  So if we want to see anyone, we have to choose between the two and it's not cheap to see anyone. 

  • imagesuperMcG:

    Been together 7.5 years, married 3.5...

    Good : We were finally TOGETHER. My parents asked us to please not live together before we were married, and out of respect for them (and their generous payment for our wedding), we didn't. And for the last 2 years of our pre-wedding relationship, we were actually living 4 hours apart! I missed him so much. Not having to say goodnight on the phone was my favorite part about finally being married.

    Bad : His mother. End of story. It's FINALLY getting better, thank God. But you guys wouldn't believe some of the MIL stories I have. Told me I looked fat in my wedding dress, told Mack that Dorothy probably wasn't his, etc... it's tough, to say the least.

    Sounds like you and I could share some stories. Mine is also getting slightly better, but I still don't trust her as far as i Can throw her.....

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  • Good: I experienced something similar to Angie, I am more confident.  Everything feels more secure.

    Bad: his mom as well, lol.  It really wasn't a surprise though because she started showing her true colors when she found out that DH was planning on proposing.  Sorry she told you that about Dorothy, Chelsea.  We do not have kids yet but I will honest to gosh flip if she even alludes to that.  And I've seen your wedding pics (that you've posted on the blog so I'm only a semi stalker) and you look fabulous and happy.

  • Chelsea - Oh Em Gee.  I have never punched anyone in the face, but, MIL or not... if someone said that to/about me... I'm pretty sure I would have punched them.
  • imageTiffany618:
    Chelsea - Oh Em Gee.  I have never punched anyone in the face, but, MIL or not... if someone said that to/about me... I'm pretty sure I would have punched them.

    I burst into tears when she called me fat in my wedding dress, but it was the wedding day, so there wasn't much I could do about it.

    When she told Mack over the phone not to get too excited about my pregnancy until they could "tell for sure where it came from", Mack hung up on her. We talked to her again when she walked into our house 2 days after Dot was born, looked down at me nursing, and said, "Well, at least she's white." They were then escorted quickly from our home and told not to contact us again until they'd found their souls. 

    She's since apologized, sort of, and for the sake of our children knowing Mack's family, we see them occasionally. But like someone said earlier... I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. She loved me when we were dating, but something obviously changed, and she is the conductor of the Chelsea Haters Express train.

    imageimg
  • imagesuperMcG:

    imageTiffany618:
    Chelsea - Oh Em Gee.  I have never punched anyone in the face, but, MIL or not... if someone said that to/about me... I'm pretty sure I would have punched them.

    I burst into tears when she called me fat in my wedding dress, but it was the wedding day, so there wasn't much I could do about it.

    When she told Mack over the phone not to get too excited about my pregnancy until they could "tell for sure where it came from", Mack hung up on her. We talked to her again when she walked into our house 2 days after Dot was born, looked down at me nursing, and said, "Well, at least she's white." They were then escorted quickly from our home and told not to contact us again until they'd found their souls. 

    She's since apologized, sort of, and for the sake of our children knowing Mack's family, we see them occasionally. But like someone said earlier... I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. She loved me when we were dating, but something obviously changed, and she is the conductor of the Chelsea Haters Express train.

    There are no words.   Wow.

  • imagesuperMcG:

    imageTiffany618:
    Chelsea - Oh Em Gee.  I have never punched anyone in the face, but, MIL or not... if someone said that to/about me... I'm pretty sure I would have punched them.

    I burst into tears when she called me fat in my wedding dress, but it was the wedding day, so there wasn't much I could do about it.

    When she told Mack over the phone not to get too excited about my pregnancy until they could "tell for sure where it came from", Mack hung up on her. We talked to her again when she walked into our house 2 days after Dot was born, looked down at me nursing, and said, "Well, at least she's white." They were then escorted quickly from our home and told not to contact us again until they'd found their souls. 

    She's since apologized, sort of, and for the sake of our children knowing Mack's family, we see them occasionally. But like someone said earlier... I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. She loved me when we were dating, but something obviously changed, and she is the conductor of the Chelsea Haters Express train.

    Excuse my french...

    But that's when I would have slapped a biitch.

  • imagesuperMcG:

    imageTiffany618:
    Chelsea - Oh Em Gee.  I have never punched anyone in the face, but, MIL or not... if someone said that to/about me... I'm pretty sure I would have punched them.

    I burst into tears when she called me fat in my wedding dress, but it was the wedding day, so there wasn't much I could do about it.

    When she told Mack over the phone not to get too excited about my pregnancy until they could "tell for sure where it came from", Mack hung up on her. We talked to her again when she walked into our house 2 days after Dot was born, looked down at me nursing, and said, "Well, at least she's white." They were then escorted quickly from our home and told not to contact us again until they'd found their souls. 

    She's since apologized, sort of, and for the sake of our children knowing Mack's family, we see them occasionally. But like someone said earlier... I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. She loved me when we were dating, but something obviously changed, and she is the conductor of the Chelsea Haters Express train.

    I love that you don't put up with it and neither does your husband! I can't believe someone would actually say that... well I guess I can.

  • imagesuperMcG:

    imageTiffany618:
    Chelsea - Oh Em Gee.  I have never punched anyone in the face, but, MIL or not... if someone said that to/about me... I'm pretty sure I would have punched them.

    I burst into tears when she called me fat in my wedding dress, but it was the wedding day, so there wasn't much I could do about it.

    When she told Mack over the phone not to get too excited about my pregnancy until they could "tell for sure where it came from", Mack hung up on her. We talked to her again when she walked into our house 2 days after Dot was born, looked down at me nursing, and said, "Well, at least she's white." They were then escorted quickly from our home and told not to contact us again until they'd found their souls. 

    She's since apologized, sort of, and for the sake of our children knowing Mack's family, we see them occasionally. But like someone said earlier... I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. She loved me when we were dating, but something obviously changed, and she is the conductor of the Chelsea Haters Express train.

    This is craziness. Yeah, like someone else said, I would have gone loco on her a$$. My Step-MIL is evil, but she is a master manipulator. She mostly gets others to do her dirty work. When she finally figured out that DH would side with me EVERY SINGLE TIME, she backed off a bit. But like I said earlier, I do not trust her one bit. 

    Good for you guys for sticking to your guns and not letting her control the situation. She obviously has some major issues. 

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