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I owe my DH an apology.
I posted earlier about the angst surrounding our trip home in September. I've since deleted two of my posts. I was venting, but it wasn't the right thing to do.
DH is in no way a bad guy and his concerns about finances and his job security are completely justified. It wasn't his fault money was tight, possibly necessitating canceling the trip. I had every right to be upset or emotional about the situation, but I shouldn't have vented about it on here. I really hurt DH's feelings and violated his trust. It is my general policy to keep issues like this between us...well, between us. I should have stuck to that policy.
DH didn't want to accept money from my parents for the trip and as his friend and his wife I understand and respect that. I know some people thought he should suck it up and accept the money. I disagree - our solution for our problem needed to be one that worked for us both. I should have stood up for my guy.
He is a great guy and my best friend and he deserves better from me. I'm really sorry.
Re: I owe my DH an apology.
You are being way too tough on yourself. You are completely allowed to vent and be upset that you can't go home.
This is like free therapy around here and believe me, I did not your husband was being ridiculous at all. Every relationship needs a person who keeps an eye on the budget. If you were both spenders, you'd be in trouble and if you were both budgeters, you'd never do anything fun.
Keep venting and know that we don't think any less of you or your husband. We have ALL been in this position at some point in our IN lives.
I agree with Tot. One, it helps to write out the vent sometimes. Reading responses also helps you find a solution, and if not you, then maybe someone else that was reading it.
Though I was one who said you should take the offer, obviously after thinking about it, you realized it wasn't the best thing for you. That's all that matters. It didn't really make me view your H differently at all, instead it made me think of what I would do and want if I were in a similar situation.
All of this!
Bravo.
I couldn't have said it better. Totally agree!
Now jumping domestically.
Well that was a crazy couple of years.
I never once thought anything bad about your H from what you said. It is not abnormal to be wary of taking money/expensive gifts from family or in-laws. I think forbidding you to take it if it meant bad things for your mental/emotional health would be wrong, but you guys found another solution that got you to go and kept him from having to accept gifts from the ILs. I think that sounds like compromise to me.
Agreed with Tot. Standing by your man doesn't mean never expressing any frustration about life situations in a place with people who are in similar situations and can understand. You can't gain perspective or reach balance if your relationship is a vacuum with only you and him inside.
My Blog
You need a place to vent or soundboard issues - living overseas can be fabulous but hard. This is a pretty darn safe place to vent. Doesn't impact your/his friends, work, family, social relationships, etc. We just understand the joys and struggles of expat living and will offer you something more than "but you're on vacation every day!" or "you're the one who moved away" or "just come home" that family/back home friends tend to say.
I agree as well.