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Started a "good behavior" jar today

I hope this works! Shannon has been very negative (everything we say is met with a "NO!" from her), has been bossy, pushy, throwing tantrums, and well... we've tried just about everything in hopes of curbing this behavior. But, I felt like all I was doing was punishing the bad, and it left very little room for rewarding the good! I needed to change things up.

Today, I picked up beads and let her pick a jar. Since lunchtime, she's already gotten six beads for various good behavior (listening right away, not wasting water, helping me, etc.). She's asked for beads for other things too, and I asked her if she thought what she did deserved a bead. She correctly answered that it didn't. Throughout the day, if she's doing what she's supposed to, or corrects her behavior after only being told once, then she'll get a bead. If she has a full-blown tantrum, then beads will come out. When we fill the jar (or maybe even as soon as halfway filled, since she picked a pretty big jar), we'll let her pick something special to do.   

*crosses fingers*

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Re: Started a "good behavior" jar today

  • great idea!  I hope it works for you
  • I hope it works. It sounds like a good idea and shouold be really effective.  I think it is the age.   Just an FYI form years of behavioral intervention practice and workshops, it is not recommended to remove  the reward (bead) from the jar.  Once a bead is earned, it cannot be removed.  If their behavior is poor, they just don't get another bead.  When I used a reward system before with my classroom I saw that it was much more effective when they could only earn, not lose.
  • Thanks for the input! I wasn't going to take away any beads for normal stuff, but now I'll talk it over with DH about not taking any out. The punishments will remain the same. Keep the positive jar a positive thing! :)
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  • I like that idea Alicia, I might try that with Ethan.  I feel like we've tried everything, lately I feel like training the puppy is easier that dealing with his behavior!  Honestly, he's been getting worse since I had Aidan.  He has great moments that we praise him for being a good big brother, and then 2 minutes later he's ripping a toy out of his hands.  So frustrating! 

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  • What a great idea! I have friends with kids around her age and I might pass along your idea. 

    I hope that it helps!  

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  • That's a great idea.  I wonder if it will work with DS... he's been quite the threenager lately.  I just my have to suggest this and see what DH thinks.  I hope it works out well with Shannon!
  • Good idea! <filing away for use in a few years!> I hope it works - let us know!

    LOL at "threenager," K! :)

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  • This is a great idea Alicia! In my classroom I try to use the same theory...reward the good and ignore the bad. Some kids just need attention so badly that negative attention is better than non at all. I do agree with pp about once a bead is earned is can't be removed.

     

    let me know how it works b.c I know I will need this for G. She is already feisty!

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  • Great idea Alicia! I have said I wanted to do something similiar with my kids, and you've motivated me to get to it!
  • Hope that jar is getting full!!  :-)  I started the same thing last year with DD.  She was expecting to just get things and her behavior was starting to turn, not super horrible (like it is now, but enought to start a jar too).  It worked so well!!  She was earning a pinata for her party if it was filled in time... of course I was rewarding a lot more as her b-day was getting closer...ha!  This summer I had to get the jar back out- if not I think we would be minus one kid around here...ugh.  I divided it too, I have to tell you it took her forever to get to the first quarter- which was a movie she really wanted to see (well, it took her so long to get teh pasta in her jar that that movie was gone and a new one came out-lol.  The next rewards are fun things with us b/c she thought she would get things everytime she reached a section on her jar.  And as far as taking out beads, I would be reluctant on doing this.  From everything I have learned you should not take away what they earn (although even though I know this, I still took away pasta from DD's jar when she was just SO bad- I couldn't stop myself). 
  • My husband and I have agreed to use the powers of the jar only for good. We will not be taking what she has earned out... Until it is full and time to start over! :)
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