July 2009 Weddings
Kate&Mark
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Pet Peeve
I hate how people bring up how long people have been married when something bad happens.
ie, "I can't believe she cheated on him! They've been married for 15 years!" or, "I feel so sorry for her that her husband died - they'd been married 10 years and had two kids."
I just competely fail to see how long you've had a ring on your finger affects your feelings. I can't imagine I'd be less pissed off now if I found out M was cheating on me than if I found out in 5 years. And I can't imagine it would hurt any less if he died today verus in 2055. Why would you even bring that up?
Re: Pet Peeve
As far as the cheating thing goes, I don't understand it either. I would be just as angry if DH cheated on me or asked me for a divorce tomorrow, as I would if it didn't happen for 15 years. Although I think I would be more pissed now that we have a daughter, because it's not about just us anymore - she's involved too - but that's beside the point. I just think that people think the longer they've been together the worse it is? Maybe.
As far as the death thing though, I think people are just mentioning it because it's sad. It doesn't matter the situation, even if it was newlyweds who die on their honeymoon flight it would still be "How tragic, they weren't even married a week." I don't mind that one as much as I mind the cheating/bad karma thing. Death is sad any way you look at it, but I think that's more of just mentioning the situation than saying that it was sad BECAUSE of how long they were together or how many kids they had.
My Blog
I think people do that for the cheating thing because you just expect that the longer a couple is married, the more settled they would be. My husband's first wife cheated on him and he was shocked that she would do that after ten years. My parents were married 33 years and then divorced. If I hadn't grown up with them, I would have been shocked.
I don't think people do it as a reflection on how much the pain there is for the hurt spouse. It's more that it's shocking that the offending spouse would do that after that many years.
As for a spouse dying, I don't see the point either.
From experience, the comment regarding our divorce that I hear... "well... at least you were only married a year..."
I mean, I get it, I guess... and I can understand their perspective. Maybe it would hurt more if I had invested 14 years of my life to him instead of 4... but man... I can't imagine anything hurting more than divorce and him being with someone else... and it's now been a year... and it still hurts... I'm only barely getting to a point of moving past it... so, "only a year..." as Krissy said, I was married to him, committed my life, expected forever with him... it's pretty painful even if we were married "just a year."
I agree with you....