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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWYD: another fb censor thing...
maybe i'm just a big b and i'm the only one who thinks fb should be censored... but how would you respond to this?
posted by my cousin who i'm literally about to delete and never speak to again. and my h is black. (if you didn't know) and i just generally hate people who are racist... it's fvcking annoying and needs to stop.
So here is the status update:
"Black people started wearing their pants really low,white people called this "saggin" Spell "saggin" backward.. Leave it to us white people. Sneaky white people..Lol"
I literally copied and pasted that.
How do you feel about this??
we're having twins!
Re: WWYD: another fb censor thing...
am i the only one who thinks this isn't even funny? maybe it's the n word??
i wrote: that is horrible
she responded: is is bad but i copied and pasted it from a friend.
so because i'm a *** b!tch i wrote: i don't find it funny, but i guess my humor is different from that of country folk. (yes this was a dig at the fact that she lives with like a bajillion animals in the woods and speaks like the swamp people)
so some one wrote: she aint the one who made it up....geez. my husbands black and kids are too and i thinks its a hiliarious conundrum
some one else wrote: To Sarack, I don't find it funny either but you're returning prejudice with prejudice, insinuating that all "country folk" think the same.
to all that i wrote: Apparently facebook is a public forum where one isn't required to censor their content. So if that is true, then I don't have to either. And either do you. I know she didn't make it up, but passing it on is the same in my eyes. I have a right to an opinion as does she and you as well. Also, the word is sagging. I'm not insinuating all country folk think the same but if the shoe fits. And if one person wants to talk about other people, then other people will talk to them. Just as you're doing to me and I am now returning the favor. Sneaky white people...
(sorry, I was gone, just got back - not usually on in the evenings)
I 100% agree with you. The issue isn't even about censoring, it's about being racist - that comment was racist. Sometimes people abuse the idea of 'free speech' and IMO hurtful/mean/racist/etc things can't be defended by saying "well I can say it if I want, so there". I mean, there are rules in classrooms about saying mean things...
And the whole C&P argument is BS. My grandparents use email and fwd tons of stupid emails, one of which had racist undertones. I told my mom I was super angry about it so she talked to her dad - he didn't understand the concept that if you fwd/C&P something it is exactly the same as if you wrote it yourself. You're putting your name behind it.
And also, racism isn't just about single acts of 'meanness', it's about how society is organized, the sub-conscious messages and what people accept as the norm. I think you did a good job
ETA: I realized a better way of saying it isn't about censoring is that, I don't have to censor myself from saying racist/mean things on facebook because I wouldn't ever say them, period. So I guess, sure, people shouldn't have to censor themselves, they should just learn/mature and not be racist (or stupid, lol).
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I don't feel like racist or other discriminatory statements should be on FB. When people post things like that, i call them out, as well. If i think that they can be made to think twice about what they are saying and what it means/what they are perpetuating by repeating it, then they can stick around on my FB, but otherwise, i move on.
I think this is totally different than the other scenario: the earlier one was an issue of censoring one's experience with regard to sensitivity to feelings and individual experience, whereas this involves the perpetuation and mockery of the centuries-long subordination of black people.
In other words, i agree: it's an inappropriate thing to post, and maintaining a public relationship (or any relationship, probably) with a person who thinks in this way is IMO undesirable (unless you can help them open their minds to respect all people).
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
therickson- tact is important... and i think computers make people forget that.
amandasw- thank you. you said it right saying that it isn't censoring, you just wouldn't do it period. i completely agree with that.
the problem i have with her response is that she said it is bad but i stole it from a friend. if you knew it was bad, why would you pass it on?
so this is the problem. H wondered what i was doing, so i talked to him about it, and he is SO mad. he doesn't want her to come to our house. i'm hosting a babyshower for her sister soon and she's invited and rsvp'd yes... h won't be here, what do i do? (i do NOT want her here period... but she's family, barf)
I hate when people use that excuse. You are repeating it because you think it is funny - don't backpedal when someone calls you out on it.
As far as the shower goes, I have cut off friendships for things like this but know that once it is family it gets more complicated. I would bring up the fact that you were offended by it and choose to make your company elsewhere. Since it is her sisters shower it would be hard for me personally to kick her out, but I would not socialize with her.
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
i completely agree.. i wish i could help people open their minds.. but in this case, i don't think that's happening.
i agree. it is very easy to backpedal when called out.. especially if you didn't think of it in that light before. apparently where she comes from, the country/woods, it's ok to be racist...
the shower is the problem for me. my other cousin feels the same way about her sister as me.. she knows her as much as i do, because we live across the state from the one who made this comment. i don't want to start drama esp. because both of them are pg.. but i also want to respect my husband's wishes. i also don't want force myself to hold my tongue all day either.. cuz i would be the type to call her out and not feel bad about it, because she's family. but i LOVE my cousin that i'm holding the shower for, so i wouldn't wanna ruin her day.
pretty much all of this (except my grandparents wouldnt've been able to figure out a computer).
you don't have to have a black husband...or even have black friends or anything to find this comment racist. it's just bad taste. while the poster was accurate in saying you fought racism with more racism, you were doing so to prove a point...not in straight up calling out "country folk", but letting her know that what she did wasn't okay to do... i think that is different..while some people might disagree.
as for the baby shower, i would notify her sister (the expectant mother) of the situation and tell her that you are uncomfortable with her, and you'd rather not have her there. let her sister decide. i'm sorry you have to be in that situation...if it wasn't a sister, but a friend, i would easily say she's not welcome..but she's the mom's sister...so it's tough to exclude her.
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
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jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
both of them are expectant, but i think you're right.. she maybe too embarassed to show up anyway..
we'll see how it plays out. i just hope she realizes that it's not ok.
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
i promise i won't say anything. i'll be good. i seriously would NEVEr want to hurt the guest of honor's feelings.. and i most certainly wouldn't want to make the day about this other girl instead of my cousin. i was making a point that i am totally the type to call her out and not feel bad about it because she's family.. but i would never do it in this situation.
Apparently it's the day for such inappropriate internet bx: http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/57032508.aspx
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
the person that said "are you sure it wasn't a joke?"
*that* i lol'd at.
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
wow...
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There's already been a ton of discussion already, but I thought I would throw my 2 cents in as well. FB is a lot like Pandora's Box, imo, and if you want to be a part of it, then be prepared for the worst. I come from a small, hick town and a lot of people I went to HS with post A LOT of racist, sexist, homophobic crap and a ton of stupid drama about their daily lives. I'm against censoring them, because FB is a public forum. And as long as what they post does not endanger (telling everyone they should kill/beat up John Smith), "cry wolf" (posting stuff that would make you call the authorities or 911), or cyberbully an individual, then they should be allowed to post whatever they want.
But I'm all for hiding/blocking people who irritate the living sh*t out of you.
In sarack's case, I would either "de-friend" or hide all of the offender's posts from my wall. And I would bring up the incident with the guest of honor, and see what she wants to do.
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This.
I don't have anything new to add, but I just wanted to shake my head a little at these ignorant FB posters.
this.
Wow, I'm late to the party, but OMG. i don't know that fb should be censored, but ppl are effing idiots. One good thing is, I think people's true colors may come out in a way they don't in person. People feel like they're posting with like-minded friends. Something like this, I definitely would comment on, even if not from a close friend. It's too inapproriate and not commenting, IMO, is like a tacit endorsement. And as all the pp said, reposting like she did is a blatant endrosement.
It gets a little trickier w/ the political posts. There's been a lot about welfare lately. For the most part, I respond. But, I have some relatives who I hardly see that are ultra-conservative and post things I strongly disagree with, and I usually let those ones go b/c I'm not gonna change their minds and it'll just cause drama. But some things are over the line!
jennuinne:i don't know that fb should be censored, but ppl are effing idiots.Exactly!
True! It's remarkable the truths about people's character that are revealed by their behavior on FB.Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)