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Need gift idea for friend in sad situation
I'll try to make a long, long story short but I have a wonderful friend who had a new baby about 3 months ago. A couple weeks after the baby was born, she wasn't feeling well in several ways, doctor blew her off until she had a seizure and blacked out and was rushed to the ER. Her doctor then realized she had eclampsia. She spent a couple days in the hospital while her baby was still a newborn but was eventually discharged and went home. She had several more seizures and was put on several meds.
She calls me today- she just spent almost a month in ICU. While she saw over 12 doctors, no one is still able to determine exactly what is going on with her. She didn't even sound like herself on the phone today. The 1st 3 mos of her baby's life she has barely been with him. Even now that she is home, she can barely hold him because she is so weak and on so many drugs. She is just depressed and sad and worried. Frankly, I am worried, too!
Her inlaws have been taking the baby almost full time. I asked if I could bring some food or anything and she said no, that her inlaws and husband are taking care of everything. Still, I want to send something as a pick me up for her. She is really depressed and sad and frustrated and I think she is worried that she lost the real bonding time with her newborn.
Anyway, looking for something I can do to cheer her up. It doesn't need to be a necessity item like food, but I want something different than flowers. Any ideas?
Also, any T&P that can be spared for her and her baby, Maxwell, are much appreciated!
Re: Need gift idea for friend in sad situation
Could you get photos from the family and make a photo book? Or gift cards to somewhere like Shutterfly so that she can use it later.
I'm going to have to think more...
ETA: based on the sad and worried comment, I think she needs a friend most. Even if she said she doesn't need food, take something else over and stay for a while. CCC's idea about movie stuff would be cute - grab some ice cream, chocolate and chick flicks. Or send the family out and give her some alone time to bond with the baby and you can "supervise."
Wow. How terribly sad
I can't imagine being in that situation and not being able to spend time with your newborn. That makes my heart hurt.
I would say maybe restaurant gift cards just for practical purposes, because while her husband and ILs may be taking care of food for her, I'm sure they're super busy taking care of the baby and would probably love to not have to worry about cooking.
As for just HER ~ is she too weak to go get a mani/pedi? Could you do a gift certificate? What about a massage? She can just lay there and be pampered...but I don't know if having seizures would make that a bad idea
Maybe a thing of snacks, some good chocolate or candy, a few funny movies, magazines she enjoys reading, smell-good bath stuff....???
Rather than bringing meals, it might be helpful to do some grocery shopping for them. You can't buy everything they will need (unless you ask what exactly they need), but you can pick up some basic items and baby necessities that may save them a trip to the grocery store. Alternatively, you could pay to have a cleaning crew sent to their house for a thorough cleaning. Those simple tasks can often become overwhelming when a loved one is sick.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. How scary for all involved. Has she been able to seek second/third opinions? I just hate reading that the doctors weren't taking her seriously early on, and now can't determine what is happening...
Click it if you can't say it!
i am so sorry for your friend. sounds very scary.
i think the others' ideas are great. only idea i have is to get her a special book to read to her baby and bond with her. there is one called Oh My Baby Little One. it basically says, Oh my baby little one, the hardest thing i do, is to pick you up and hold you tight then walk away from you. it goes on to say that when mom is at work and baby is at school mom's love for baby is always with both of them and baby's always on Mom's mind.
everyone finds comfort in different things so you'd have to determine if that or maybe a less emotional book would be better for her. another favorite of mine is I Love You Through and Through. it is fun to read and point out baby's parts when reading to him/her. "i love your top side, your bottom side, your inside, your outside, your happy side, your sad side..."
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
How sad. I can't imagine.
I don't know what you were looking to spend, but what about having having a photographer come to their house to take family pictures? I know that can get very expensive, so maybe giving them a gift certificate type thing (even something you print up yourself) to use when they're ready to have them done. I don't really know how it would work out, or if they'd be interested etc, but I would very much appreciate something like that if I were in a similar situation.
I know when I'm sad/sick/depressed/overwhelmed pictures of my little family make me feel a whole lot better.
I also like the housekeeper idea or a basket with movies, magazines, books etc.
Also, what about giving some time to the family so they can have a break since they are taking care of the baby?
I can't imagine what she is going through. I hope she gets some answers very soon!
Where is Dr. House?
I'm sending up some prayers that she receives comfort & healing soon.
My cousin-in-law went had a very traumatic birth experience with her youngest. She ended up hospitalized for almost a month & he was in the NICU for 4 months. During that period they received a few restaurant gift cards, after seeing what a huge blessing those gift cards were to them, that's now my go to present for people in similar situations. The combination of medical bills & increased food costs from constantly getting take-out is stressful financially, a paid for meal that they can get when convenient for them is a God-send.
I was also going to suggest a GC or sitting fee or something for pictures. It's probably something she doesn't have the energy to think about, but would really appreciate when the photos came in.
She actually said as much on the phone...
Thanks for all the great ideas. I'm looking in to a few of them and I also tracked down her husband's email and sent him a note. She is not the type to accept help but I'm sure he needs it. I did offer to take the baby for a couple hours to give his parents a break, as well.