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What would you do?
I dont post on here much (I do lurk occasionally), but I think I have posted on here before. I will give a little recap in case I havent., I was married my DH on Nov. 20th, 2010. We have had a very eventful 9 months since then which includes adpoting a puppy, my DH's med school graduation, a move to a new city, a new home purchase, and new jobs for both of us. If you have any more questions about me feel free to ask, and I will try to make a point to post more.
I was just thinking about an upcoming wedding, and I was wondering what you girls would do in this situation.
I have a friend (a guy) who is getting married in a few weeks. There are rumors (and a few eye witnesses) that he has cheated on his soon to be wife. I have no proof of it, but I do know of at least one attempt (with me). He had been drinking heavily. I put him to bed on the couch that night and called my then BF, now DH to come and stay with me. YEARS have gone by, and I never did anything about it (and I dont plan to now), but part of me wonders if I should have told the girl back then. I am not that close with the girl in the relationship, but we are still friends through him.
At this point it is too little too late, and I dont feel that bad since nothing actually happened. He appologized to me for his advance. I feel like I have no proof of him actually following through with cheating, so I dont really think it is my job to step in.
This is something I have been thinking about quite a bit with the upcoming wedding, so I am just wondering, what would you girls have done?
Re: What would you do?
Honestly, I don't know that I would have handled things differently from you at that point in time. But you didn't really say how he put a move on you, so I'm not sure. If it was obscene and offensive, I probably would have distanced myself from him and quite possibly ended the friendship.
With regards to if I would have told his gf about his making a pass at me, it depends on how close we were. You said that you're friends with the guy, so if you weren't close to his gf, would she even believe you if you told her or would she think that you were just trying to get them to break up, kwim?
Also, without direct proof of him cheating, I don't think there's anything you can do.
The "move" was pretty vulger and offensive, and I did distance myself for awhile, but we were very close friends and I really try to see the best in my friends (ie. maybe it was a one time thing, he was drinking...). We als have extended family in common making it hard to really distance yourself for too long. I just hope it actually was a one time thing and this girl isnt making a huge mistake, that I possibly could have prevented, but like I said, too little too late.
Ah, I can see how it'd be hard to distance yourself from him then. But like I said, I don't think there's anything you could have done different and definitely not anything you can do now.
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Sounds like you and your H have been busy! What kind of puppy did you get?
Do you have any wedding pictures you can share?
We have a goldendoodle. She is the sweetest dog ever.
I tried to upload pictures, but they keep getting rejected when I try to post. Here is a link to my shutterfly. Hopefully you can view pictures that way.
http://www.shutterfly.com/lightbox/view.sfly?fid=af2939f35599343c3315f89dbf2f35f7#1313709106909
It's a difficult one...
I wouldn't say anything. I don't know if that's the right thing to do, but that's realistically what I would do.
A similar situation: My guy friend S cheats on his wife. A lot. I know this because 1) he's told me and 2) he cheated with a mutual friend. Do I think it's right? No. Do I want to be involved? LOL no! It's their relationship, not mine, and I'm not sure I'd appreciate hearing that from a third party if it were about my H.
In your case, you also don't actually know for a fact that there's anything to tell the FI anyway.
I do recommend never being alone in a room with this guy!
Also, I can't open your pics
Welcome!
Hmm. Okay, if you had proof of him cheating... recently... then I would say you may want to consider saying something. But you said it was awhile ago, nothing happened, and he apologized. I am all about honesty and virtue and letting people know what they may or may not be getting into but... I don't see how you can help here. If you're wrong, you've potentially harmed a decent relationship. If you're right, with no proof, the fiance may just not believe you and cling even more to her not so great man. It just doesn't seem like you're in a good position to help. That said, if it were me, I may not attend the wedding? Sorry if I am not much help!