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Birthdays at work
just need some opinions..
in my dept (small-only a few people), we take each other out for birthdays. thing is-last year they forgot mine. once they remembered, they did take me out. i'm not the type to announce it's my bday so i wasn't upset about it. for the next persons bday, she chose a restaurant that was a little pricey and my half alone was almost $40.
along came my bday in may again this year, and i never got so much as a happy birthday, let alone a lunch. my boss recently mentioned that my bday is in may-so i'm not sure what the deal is.
my question-when the next birthday comes up for the high priced girl, do i say anything? or just pay for her lobster ravioli or whatever she decides to make us pay for?
again, i'm not the type to announce my bday or make a big deal about it, but it still hurts a little when they have forgotten for the second time...
thanks!
Re: Birthdays at work
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Hmm that seems a little tricky. honestly not sure what I would do. I'm sooo into my birthday haha I make sure everyone knows:)
I definitely would not keep forking over $$ for her expensive parties though, especially if it wasn't being reciprocated. That's a little strange and tacky, in my opinion. Maybe that's super shallow, selfish or materialistic of me, but if it's just a co-worker's birthday and not a super close friend, I wouldn't keep putting up with it.
I can see them forgetting but then doing it later but to forget and never do anything is rude. I would just say I'm not going. It may seem petty but for them to completely forget yours and then make plans for another one is bad. Just say I do not want to go and if they ask you can tell them.
I used to work at a CPA office. My birthday is April 9 so needless to say it was always forgotten. We never did a huge thing. Usually ordered lunch in. I am never one to announce it is my birthday so I was just happy when they remembered which was usually a day or 2 later.
Maybe its time for a new system of celebrating birthdays or one person needs to be in charge of keeping track. I would hate if I was expected to help pay for everyone else's birthday, but mine was forgotten
We send a card around and have a grab bag. If people want, they can donate a $5 gift at the beginning of the calendar year. On their birthday they get to draw a number and get a gift. They used to take up a collection for each birthday. That got expensive.
I agree that your b-day being forgotten is separate from this other girl's b-day and those issues. As far as the forgetting thing: I'd be hurt too. Once, I could understand, but twice? If it really does bother you, just subtly drop a hint the week before. Something like, "Yeah I'm excited b/c H is taking me out to _____ for my bday next week." That should help them remember without being obnoxious.
As far as this other girl, I think it's kind of rude she insists on super pricey meals on someone else's dime. I would not go. Just say, "I'm sorry. I'd love to, but that restaurant/meal is just not in my budget right now. Happy birthday!"
Why not suggest monthly or quarterly lunches to jointly celebrate any birthdays around that time - unhosted so everyone pays their own way. Or better yet, lobby for the office to pay!
At one workplace the office manager kept track of b-days and would order in lunch for everyone from the restaurant of the birthday girl's/boy's choice. That system worked great. Well, until it was the office manager's b-day and it passed unnoticed. That was not cool.