Minneapolis/St. Paul Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I want a baby...Like yesterday...
My husband and I have been together almost 11 years and married for almost 3... We have always wanted kids but always said "in about 5 years" --- we had a little "late scare" a couple months ago and kinda thought we were pregnant..and then ended up it was a BFN --- 
Now for some reason it's hit me like a ton of bricks and I want a baby..like yesterday... But I want my husband to be 110% ready too.... and I don't think he's quite there...
Thoughts?? Anyone else feel my pain?
?Married 11-1-08 ~ dxPCOS 9-1-11 ~ BFP 2-14-12 ~ T.J. born 11-1-12?
Re: I want a baby...Like yesterday...
I can somewhat relate. We've been together for 10 years and married for almost 6, however we are only 27 years old. For the longest time we thought we wouldn't have kids at all, then in the last 18 months we've realized that we do both eventually want at least two kids. Then in the last 12 months I've known about 20 women who have gotten pregnant and had babies. That's when it really hit me, and I realized how much I want to have a baby. To clarify, I don't want a baby because my friends do, it's more because I realized what an incredible miracle it is and how DH and I will be great parents. I grew up in a fairly unstable home and I really look forward to giving our children a stable, healthy, love filled home.
DH hasn't completely gotten on board yet and I also have 16 months left of schooling to get my bachelors, so I'd like to finish school first, but I wouldn't object to being pregnant the last few months of school, DH isn't on board with that yet.
I also am of the mindset that I want DH to be 110% ready, because I know that will make the whole experience that much more fulfilling for both of us. We talk about it occasionally and I know he'll eventually get on board, but I've realized I need to learn to be patient and that this baby will come in God's best timing, whether it's when I hope for in 2 years or when DH hopes for (more like 4 years).
In the meantime, to help with the waiting, we are checking stuff off of our "before we have a baby" list- mostly travel and life experiences. We went to Peru in January and this November we're going to Europe- Europe was number one on my list of to do before baby :-)
Photo taken at 16 months old
I'm so at the opposite end of the spectrum. When we got married, we thought we'd want to have kids in about 5 years. We're now both in our 30s and 3 weeks away from our 5th anniversary and are leaning toward not wanting to have them at all. We both think kids are great and our nephews are awesome but the thought of having to be completely responsible for another human being isn't something we're interested in.
We're going to re-visit the issue in 3 years.
My Cooking Blog
I'll give from the perspective of one and done...we were like StrawberryBlondie and really talked about having none because we loved the lifestyle we were living (free to do what we want when we want, travel, etc), but after really looking at all sides decided that when we were 60 and all of our friends had kids and were having grandkids we'd regret not having at least one.
So DS #1 came along...and we've been totally smitten and happy to have him in our lives, we couldn't imagine life with out him. We travel with him all the time and he's an awesome flyer and road tripper. I can't wait to show him the world (or our small part of it). I love seeing the same mundane things i see every day through his eyes with excitement.
With that being said I have several friends and family members who are embarking on #2 and we've received pressure to do it too, and occasionally I get a pang for it, but I hate how society kind of dictates that its natural to just go to #2. It's like why can't I be happy with the one I have, enjoy him, and praise him. Why should I always be going after the next best thing. That's not us. I just want to appreciate the fact that I got one really healthy boy, especially when there are people out there who can't have any, struggle to have one, or lose the ones they have too early.
I'm pretty solid in our decision and will become more solid as the years progress because I don't want to have an age gap the size of Cuba between them so our time is running out, we're getting older and I want to grow up with my kid, not grow old with him.
Lauree1183:
I love your "before baby" checklist... We are only 25 and 27 too.. SO i know we all have 'time'
Thanks for posting
ilovebijou:
I was in that "perfect" mode for a long time too..and I still get like that. But i also know we have a great marriage/relationship, stable jobs and a home- those are most imprortant...
I do have Lots of friends with babies and 6 (going on 7) nieces and nephews, and I LOVE babysitting and spending time with All of them...but now that's not 'enough' for me it seems like in the last few months.. I want My Own! haha
Thanks for posting
I'm pretty sure that if we do have kids eventually, we'll only have one (more on account of our respective ages than anything else... I'm not going to be 40 and popping out a kid). I think we'll kind of get to a place where we either decide definitely no or we decide that we're open to the idea but aren't going to actively try to have them.
My Cooking Blog
One of the best ways to see if he is ready is to go to someone's house who has a baby already! That was my strategy and it seems to be working... once they see the world doesn't end once you become parents it really helps. He was reluctant to hold the baby but loved making faces at her. And now he's asking me lots of baby questions out of the blue (like, how do you give a baby a bath? LOL)
I think it is way easier to wait until you are done with school. And of course you want your hubby to be ready... sometimes they just need a little nudge!