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Kid or adult?

DH has a 19 year old niece who has one child and another on the way. This Christmas, the family has decided to only buy for kids. MIL is insisting that niece is a kid and we should buy for her as well as her children. DH and I disagree...thoughts???
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Re: Kid or adult?

  • I am on your side.  Not a kid.
  • She's an adult.  She's 19, for one.  And she has 2 kids.  She is NOT a kid who gets presents.

    And here's the thing- you and your MIL can disagree all you want.  SHE can buy the niece a present.  You don't have to. ;)

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  • She is an adult. Not a kid.
  • Not a kid.

    But it doesn't matter what we think, or what your MIL thinks. MIL can buy her all the gifts she wants. You absolutely do not have to, especially if you don't agree with her. Stop discussing the issue with MIL.

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  • In my family it's 21...I have a cousin who had a baby early and I"m not sure if that suddenly leaped her into the adult category but I think it should.
  • personally i'd say not a kid HOWEVER it depends what his family defines a kid as. do they mean children of siblings? how far does the 'kid' thing go?
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  • This was a hotly disputed issue in my family for years! Lol.  The final decision was that you were a kid until you graduated high school then you became an adult.  No one had a kid before graduation and everyone graduated so there wasn't an issue there.  But I'm sure that once you have a child you are in the adult category.  Does your MIL make her sit at the kids table on Thanksgiving and go to bed early for santa to come too?  Does the niece even want to be considered a kid still? In my family being an adult ment you got one really nice gift (secret santa).  The kids would get socks, or sweats or coloring books so everyone was begging to be in the adult category by age 14
  • In my mind, having a kid automatically makes you an adult, whether they are one/act like one or not.
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  • I agree. We all only buy for the children too. Cut off age is 18. Its better this way. It leaves more money for the kids gifts. Christmas is for the kids anyway..right?
  • Ugh.  I hate people who think everything fun, including Christmas, is for kids.
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  • Definitely NOT a child!


  • To me kid means under 18. Niece is 19 and has 2 children she is no longer a kid.
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  • I agree - not a child.

    Maybe you could toss the idea of a $5 or $10 gift limit if money is an issue - or maybe you could draw names at Thanksgiving and buy a present for the person whose name you had?    

  • I would consider her a kid. She's from the generation of "kids" and presumably is in school and lives at home. Plus, with a new brother/sister on the way, it's cruel to not give her a gift on Christmas.

     

    whoops - misread that, thought her dad had a baby on the way. I'd still get her something nominal. Christmas is supposed to be the time to be generous and give to those in need... even if her need might be condoms, I think it's the right thing to do. 

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  • She's not a kid- but I'd get her children something. I presume that's your thought too.

    In my family, for the longest time it was you're a kid until you get married.... but that had to change because it "took so long" for me to get married (I was 28)

  • No way.  You and H are absolutely correct!
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  • We go by 18 is an adult, I agree with pp and you. Good Luck !
  • Thanks for your input! To clarify, DH and listened to MIL but we said nothing. I learned a long time ago to let DH present our united front to MIL when necessary.
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  • If she had no kids and was in college, maybe. But 1.5 kids? You are an adult and should have to buy for all the other kids, too.
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