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OCD
Hello everyone! I have learned about thenest.com from a very good friend of mine, and just started up a profile today.. I am very excited to be apart of this website that my friend says contains the best advice ever!
Anywho.. My boyfriend and I decided to take the big step of moving in together, we were able to move in a beautiful two bedroom home. Neither of us has ever committed to taking this step before, and I found it to be alot easier for him than it was for me. I have little "ocd perks" that my mother has passed down onto me. I like things a certain way, which he likes to pick on me about. I find myself becoming overly frustrated and picking fights that were never an issue before. I cant seem to make him understand what I am going through. I have always been so independent and it's crazy having someone in your bubble all the time. It just seems like an overload, am I just driving myself crazy???
Re: OCD
I think everyone has variations of OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD and have conquered it through cognitive behaviour therapy. If you think you have it...talk to your doctor.
But in terms of liking things a certain way...don't we all? Might be good to talk with him outright and just tell him how you feel about it.
Def talk about things before you go crazy! In our first apartment I couldnt sleep until the entire house was spotless. Everything had to be done, the dishes, the floors the carpets. Some nights I would stay awake til 3AM! Cleaning. Crazy I know, he has worn me down though haha and I got over all of those things. I know I still have OCD like quirks with cleanliness but there are dishes in my sink just waiting to be done.
H helps out now too though, he even started laundry tonight on his own. Sometimes we still have silly arguments but I've learned to pick my battles and we never stay mad long.
I don't have OCD, but I do have OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder). My DH does not have this, and is the kind of guy who is OK with leaving his underwear wherever he pleased, dirty dishes on the counter for days, among other habits.
What I find is that we work best when he knows his clear cut responsibilities. For example, vacuuming is his chore, as is taking out the trash, and folding laundry. Also, when something bothers me, it always works out best when I "ask" him to help with something specific rather than "tell" him. I try not to ask him to help clean when I am frustrated or mad. That just makes the situation worse. One of the things he does that really gets me worked up is how he continually shaves his face right after I clean the bathroom, then he leaves his little hairs everywhere. He "tries" to clean up, but usually misses a lot of the hair. We have had to talk about what is really "clean" and I have shown him what I expect after he shaves - a pure white sink with no hair. He's slowly but surely gotten the picture.
If he is moving things around on you, then just ask him to put things back where he found them. If he can't do that, then you may find that it's just not best to live together right now.