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S/O: My mentally challenged sister posting on FB ? WWYD?
A few weeks ago I posted in SA that my sister is now on FB. I love my sister ? she has the biggest heart in the world. But she is mentally challenged with an IQ of 61. This means if you think I can post some odd things here, you ain?t seen nothing yet.
Actually, that?s mostly on her page so it wouldn?t affect anyone she hasn?t friended, although I don?t know how locked down her page is, but whatever. (E.G., she ?friended? a fake page for Steve Erkel (sp?), the character from that TGIF show that always says, ?Did Iiiiiiiii do thaaaaat?? She posted on his page, ?Hi Erkel, how are you doing? Do you have a more recent picture? What are you doing these days?? She doesn?t quite get that the FB page isn?t even a Steve Erkel fan site but is instead someone pretending to be him for laughs.)
Since you?d have to be her friend to see that stuff and I just really let that go because people who know her know she has challenges, what I could use advice on is handling awkward moments when she posts weird/embarrassing/overshare/off topic stuff on my wall or my posts.
For example I?ll post a news article about some random thing and she?ll comment, ?Hi Michelle. How are you? I love you and miss you. How is Maddie doing?? and try to have a conversation on that string, which was not its intended purpose. I?m waiting for the day when she asks if my diarrhea has cleared up or if I still weigh X lbs, or if she posts on one of my comments, ?Michelle, I need advice. Since [baby daddy] got out of prison he wants to get back together. What should I do??
Not a big deal if she posts that stuff (maybe a little embarrassing for me but it?s not about me when it comes to her), but I?m protective of her and don?t want people making fun of her. So I say we are fine to the hi-how-are-ya?s and to check her PM?s. I don?t think she knows how because she hasn?t responded to a single pm from me yet.
Basically I want to be protective of her without embarrassing her or making her feel like I?m criticizing her or calling her out. I?ve already told her lots of times that calling is a more appropriate avenue for discussing personal stuff than writing on FB. But then I write personal stuff to our brother all the time (not about diarrhea, lol) so it?s confusing for her.
Looking from the outside in, WWYD?
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
Re: S/O: My mentally challenged sister posting on FB ? WWYD?
Do you have friends in your FB group that would make fun of her? If so, you might want to consider blocking them before you say anything to your sister.
And my opinion is so what if she makes comments that are off topic. That is where she sees you pop up in her news feed and so she comments. I would answer. I have that happen to me and the ppl posting aren't even disabled.
From the outside, I think you're a great sister and that it's nice that you're worried about her but that you're over thinking this. If someone posts a rude or mocking comment in your feed, you can delete it and then, if you feel the need, send them a DM explaining why.
Honestly, I would probably delete any comments that are inappropriate for that particular subject and send her a PM or post a message to her wall (direct the conversation to a better place).
Also, a more drastic measure would be to create a "group" just for her and limit her posting/replying priviledges to your page.
I don't think I want to go that far. It's hard to have a close relationship with a mentally challenged sibling who lives 2 states away. My conversations with Madeline are more complex and thought provoking. It is just the way it is. So by having her as a FB friend, we are a little more connected in what is going on in our lives even if there isn't a conversation about it.
Not to mention she is mentally challenged but not stupid, so if I isolated her it'd be a huge slap in the face. I'd rather block all my FB friends than do that.
I do/would delete the super inappropriate things like "how's your diarrhea?" lol. And if someone were so callous to say something rude to her I wouldn't hesitate to give them a keystroke lashing.
Rayskit - I don't think people that are my FB friends would say something rude to her, but being protective of her, something that one person thinks is a smarta$$ comment I might consider rude or over the line to her because I know she wouldn't pick up on the sarcasm. I'd delete it and PM them and unfriend them if it repeated. And I doubt if any of my FB friends knew she was mentally challenged they would say something like that - I try not to keep a$$hats like that in my circle.
I'm sure you are right and I'm overthinking it. But you, V, are very compassionate... not everyone is.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
mine has done the bolded....along with "Hi Krusty Krappy pants"...which was deleted...
For that kind of crazy I do have a little "group" and those people can't post on my wall.
I am also friends with a lot of people who cannot see my wall. i have a group I label "close nestie friends" for example who can see just about everything, and same with close former colleagues, etc. My status updates are restricted to certain audiences, etc. I put DH's uber conservative family in another group so they can't get fired up when i post gay rights stuff (to not stir the pot with them out of respect for the position it'd put him in).
But my sister lacks ill intent and would never ever purposefully post something mean to me or to try to embarrass me - she isn't even able to SAY mean things to me over the phone or in person, her heart is so golden. So she has open access.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
ROFLMAO - Hello Krusty Krappy Pants? That is mean, but kind of hilarious (because it's not me).
Yeah she would be blocked from posting on my wall!!
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
Yes, MB it's funny the first time...I know. Take the u out of Krusty and replace with an I and that is my name, which is how she got it. It's a nickname she blessed me with when I was about 12 and at 29 it's getting old. She does that kind of stuff for attention, good or bad attention she doesn't care.
I'm not skilled enough on FB to create multiple pages or groups. So I just have to be quick on my toes if I see she posts something that I view as too personal or inappropriate for her or me. As the older sister, knowing she has her own personal issues, I still feel as though I have to try to protect her.
My first two initials are BM so I have suffered quite a few crappy nicknames too - which is why it is so funny to me.
In security settings set up groups of friends, move your sister into one and customize the setting so she can't post on your wall or see your status updates. There are FAQs in FB that can walk you through it.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
BFP #3 -mm/c @ 7wks, discovered at 9wks, D&C 9/28
Current Status: TTA
~~PGAL/PAL Always Welcome!~~
I have told her all that except the "special conversation" angle. She doesn't retain it or maybe just doesn't get it. But I like that idea bout keeping some things "special." That might help.
I can't really show her how to PM. She lives in AZ.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011