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Help me see clearly(FB related)
Lurker coming out from the woodwork, and as I was lurking my way around I came across the DD SIL FB post and it actually flicked off a light bulb.
So here it goes, I had my son about 3 months ago and I on my own personal FB I have posted one picture of him, and I was in it. Now, I don't(and I don?t know why) want his picture being splashed all over the internet; FB, myspace?(I don?t even have a myspace, but you get it). So here is the issue at hand, I logged on the other day to find my DH?s father upload a picture of my son to his page. With a billion comments about how cute he was, and some lady I don?t even know wanting to babysit him,blah blah blah. While it is all fine and dandy to be proud of one?s grandkid it just made me feel a little weird, maybe uneasy.
Right and now comes the question, how should I approach this without sounding like a utter *itch, that hates all the world? I don?t want to upset my FIL, but it just makes me cringe. Should I just suck it up, and quit making angry duck lips at my screen when I log into my account.
Thanks Ladies.
Re: Help me see clearly(FB related)
I am confused. You *want* your son's picture all over the internet?
my mistake, should read i DONT want
i think i did the edit thing right
Oh come on, it was pretty clear what OP really meant.
OP - I know pictures and fb can be very personal for people. I would just talk to your H and if you and H feel strongly about this then talk to your FIL. For me, personally, it would not be a big deal, but if it is to you, talk to him.
I would have a chat with your husband and then talk to your FIL (or have your DH talk to him). This is a completely reasonable request in my opinion. Sad to say there are a lot of creepers out there and some of them are quite tech savvy.
Before my niece was born my sister politely requested/told the family that she did not want any pictures posted on Facebook, etc. Honestly, my husband and I will probably do the same when we have kids.
i think if you post a pic on FB you need to reasonably expect some to share it/view/post-especially the grandfather!
think before posting next time. if oyu dont want his pic all over the web-dont post it for others to see.
in this case i think dh should ask his dad to remove.
if you felt this strongly why did you post it to begin with?
This is what im really nervous about, about a year ago my computer was hacked into and my art was stolen from my laptop.
So thanks to all, advice was really great.
I dont want to make a big deal over something that may seem like its not,so thanks again.
I agree with the above. Don't post any pic of your son if you don't want others to post pics of him.
I post very few pics of my daughter.
However, when I do, I restrict the permissions so only my friends can see it - in fact they cannot share it w/others (my MIL shared a video once, I learned...)
If you aren't my friend, I don't want you seeing my pics.
As other posters have mentioned, share w/your FIL you are trying to keep pics to a minimum and ask him to set his settings so only his friends can see the pics and no other people.
My friend does not permit photos of her child on Facebook. She doesn't have FB but her husband does. He has about 3 photos of the kid and it's before one year. I cannot guarantee that your FIL will completely understand, but I am sure he will respect your wishes if you tell him.
Any picture you upload to FB becomes property of FB. They become owners of those pictures, and can use them for advertising, etc. So even if your photo is private, there is still the possibility it will be used/viewed in ways you did not intend.
If you don't want your childs picture shared, do not upload it.
This............ If no one is posting your location it may be safe but it bothers me to. I had pic of my son and I for FB pic and when I went to a site someone recommended to me, that pic was transferred there too. Some singles page (Yearbook) I think. Some weirdo made the comment that he would like to purchase the pic and I gave him an ear full. No matter what I did I couldnt get my account and that pic off the net! Im still freaked out by it.
I get this is what YOU want, but what about your H? Its his kid too. What does he want?
I think you are being a bit irrational, and you shouldn't expect others to bow down to your irrational thoughts. Even you admit you don't know why you feel that way.
But if it really is a big deal, and H agrees with you, then he should talk to his dad about it.
I ran into a similar situation after my son was born. I knew going into it that I didn't want pictures of him on Facebook, so I politely spread the word before he was born. But I also knew that if I posted pictures of him, that would give other people license (like my MIL) to also post pictures - fair or unfair. So I made the decision not to post any. In other words, practice what you preach. That being said, around the 3 month mark my DH's cousin posted a bunch of pictures of my son. I was upset because I thought, if I hadn't posted any pictures of my son, what would give her the right to think she could? Not only that, she had 800+ friends! I sent her a private message and very politely asked her to take them down. I explained my feelings, and she had no problem doing it - no hard feelings at all. I would politely explain your feelings to your FIL. Any reasonable person would understand. I would also suggest that he could send photos to family/friends through shutterfly, snapfish, etc.
"Dad, we love that you and DS have such a great relationship and that you're so proud of him, but here's the thing - we're a little bit nervous about security and privacy and really want to keep his photos off the internet. I'm sure you understand. Can you help us out and remove the one you have posted? It makes us feel a bit weird and we'd really appreciate it. Thanks."
That way, you make it about you and your feelings and reactions, not about what he did wrong. And yes, it should come from your H, not you.
This. And I think it goes without saying that you should be posting responsible pix of him too (no pix showing his bum, etc).
I personally don't mind that my parents share my photos with their FB friends. I know most of their friends, I trust my parents, I know what their privacy settings are on, and if not for FB, trust me, your IL's are just email forwarding them to everyone anyway.
They do not get copyright, just a license to use your photo in the specific ways set out in their policies.