D.C. Area Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
DOTD - Tuesday
Hmmm... how very 1960s of us: "In the age of the independent woman, is the guy still expected to pay on the first date?"
I am arbirtrarily removing my Tuesday=ten words limit for today bc I needed more than 10 words to respond. 
I think it's the "expected" part that gets me -- would I expect it? Probably -- although I also think it depends on (a) if he asked me on said date, and (b) if he knows it's a date. If I asked him to do something, I'd expect to pay. If the event was a group thing (like meeting in a bar for Happy Hour), I don't think I'd call it a date, and therefore would not expect him to pay.
Meh. Who pays is not a big deal for me, as long as it evens out.
Pam and John
"What is a week-end?"
"What is a week-end?"
Re: DOTD - Tuesday
What's with all the dating questions? Come on, Pammers-- most of us haven't dated in ages ;-)
I'll provide my snarky answer-- Yes, the man should pay since he is trying to get me to cheat on my husband with him.
Stand up for something you believe in.
Looking back I realize I was a total dating diva. I expected the guy to pick up the tab (even when we were 'officially' dating).
I think a good general rule is, whoever does the asking does the paying - which usually means the guy.
Yes.
In fact, even today, when DH and I got on dates (even though we have the same bank account) he will pay. He won't even let me peek at the total. Which is weird, because I do all our banking, and i'll see the amount eventually when I pay bills.
We make the rockin' world go 'round.
I'm pretty sure H and I split the bill on our first date. I've always been pretty fiercely independent (my mother jokes that my first words were, "I'll do it myself,"), plus I went to a super liberal women's college, so I was never really comfortable with the expectation that the guy would pay.
But, I agree that it also has to do with the ask. If someone asks to take you out to dinner, then I think it's fairly implicit that they will be paying.
I love this answer
I really can't remember back to my first date with DH. Back then I was always happy to let someone pay for me, so if a guy offered I absolutely would have let him with minimal fuss. But I don't think I expected it as my right and would have offered to split the bill if the guy didn't jump to pay.
For a first date I would offer to split the bill or if it was dinner and a movie he could pick up dinner and I'd buy the movie.
Now it's still a question of who's going to pay even though it's the same account. For some reason pulling out the debit card and signing the receipt takes more effort
it's a box of HH questions, Julie -- don't overthink.
"What is a week-end?"
When I dated, a long time ago, this was my view.
the guy should pay on the first date. The woman should offer to pay and he should refuse. Once it becomes a relationship, the cost of dates should be split. If one part of a couple makes significantly more then the other, they should pay more often.
This exactly.
i always went by whoever asks, pays.
my first date with DH was lunch, late afternoon dessert, and dinner. i think i paid for dessert and a round of drinks . . .
think the next question should be if date goes REALLY well, who pays for breakfast?
i didn't have a hard and fast rule on did. DH paid for our first date...which was at Xando aka Cosi. it definitely helped his chances for a second one.
HA! Sstrug, we think alike.
I went on Match.com mainly to get some free dinners a few times a week.
I would always offer, but I'd be a little miffed if he didn't turn it down. Not in a dealbreaker kind of way, but in a "does he not know dating etiquette" kind of way.
DH paid on our first date.
if I never planned to see him again, I'd totally make him pay for everything