Sex & Romance
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Is this bad?

Please be totally honest because I have no idea if this is bad of me or not.

My husband and I were having problems but we've been attempting to fix them (counseling, things like that). One thing he told me that he noticed is that he feels I'm not attracted to him. We have sex several times a week (pretty often) but I have a hard time getting wet and I rarely orgasm.

I do feel like I'm less attracted to my husband and I feel that its a contributor to my lack of excitement in the bedroom. He isn't over weight but he doesn't really make an effort when it comes to how his body looks. I used to be over weight so I lost a ton, and he loves the way I look now. I make a constant effort to go to the gym almost everyday and I eat well because I know that my body like this turns my husband on. I just want to be turned on by his body too. (By the way he's in his early 20's so it wouldn't be unhealthy for him)

So what I'm wondering is, is it bad if I ask my husband to go work out? 

VOTE on my Name List BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker

Re: Is this bad?

  • I would maybe just ask him to go with you. Asking him to just work out my hurt his feelings. I bet it would be frustrating esp with all the hard work you have done. Maybe talk to him about ways to spice things up ya know. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • No, it's not bad, but it is a very touchy subject. If you are in counseling already that might be a good, safe place to discuss this. A few points you might highlight; working out together will give you more time together and more things in common, so will preparing healthy meals together. Let him know you worry about his health as well. It can be very hard when one spouse makes life changes that the other doesn't. Let him know that working out with you and eating healthy will show his support of you and that in itself will go a long way to turning you on.

     

    Good luck and keep up the hard work, it's worth it! 

  • You could try going to the gym together, or working out at home together. I know several couples that love working out together, and honestly once I can balance my schedule I want to work out with my hubby too. It couldn't hurt right?
  • What's interesting about this is not so much what you have said as much as what you have NOT said..........

     

    Presumably you did find your man attractive when you met/married him and that can't be that far back as he is only 25 now,...so, was it just that YOU felt overweight and unattractive so you felt you 'deserved' an unattractive partner...?

     

    Could it perhaps be that you have been at the gym gettign fit and have been eyeing up the male 'talent' there, and hubby does not match up when you get home...?

     

    Perhaps you should be honest with him (and yourself)...or maybe you have just moved on from him  and actually want a different type of man now.

  • She is obviously not "over" her hubby if they are still trying to work things out... As it sounds like they should. I agree with the other ladies to ask him to work out with you and be honest with him about what you would like to see from him. Part of the reason you may not feel into sex with him might not completely be his body, but because you are working things out. As you two come back together through counseling I'm confident you will find him a lot more sexy, even if he isn't hitting the gym.
    image
    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP 2/10/2012!
    Due Date: 10/15/2012!
    Baby Boy Born 10/11/12! (Not on purpose) :)
  • I think it is great that you guys are currently in counselling. This is a safe haven to work things out and find a solution which I am glad you are doing. I also like the idea of working out together as doing something as a team is another way to bring you guys closer together.
  • New to the board.

    The pp have touched on a lot on what you and your husband can do together and thats great.  But I'm reading the part about your sex life (but I have a hard time getting wet and I rarely orgasm.)

    I don't know about you, but I can't just go straight to sex sometimes, so maybe he needs to help you in that dept.  A little foreplay never hurt anyone. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary
  • Nope,it is not bad.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards