Baby Shower gift: WWYD

leolyns · August 2011

A friend's sister is having her second baby girl in November and family is throwing a baby shower for her. Her first daughter was born in 2010, my friend threw her a baby shower in late 2009 and is throwing a second one again in October. I haven't looked at the baby registries yet but am a little thrown off of why she is having a second shower, especially since she's having another girl.

Thoughts? WWYD?

P.S. - I plan on going but think I may just get her some diapers and wipes since I'm pretty sure she and her husband have everything they need for second baby.

mrs.jacinthe · August 2011

I'd go with a restaurant gift card and an offer to babysit. I try to do that for all my (local) new-parent friends and I think it's generally pretty appreciated.

Passanie · August 2011

This is the part where everybody jumps in with scathing attacks about how inappropriate it is and castigates the host and mother. That aside, I'd just get an inexpensive gift, nothing out of your comfort zone. You're there to celebrate baby and mother and have a good time.

torylynn1 · August 2011

I'm in the "no second shower" camp. I would do diapers and wipes like you said because they would need those for 2nd babies.

ErikandAfton · August 2011

I don't see any problem with showers for second children or later children. Your celebrating the birth of a baby, that's all. If you do it for one and not the others I don't think that's right. Anyways, I would do something small like diapers and wipes and maybe something else small.

sm23 · August 2011

To me, the main purpose of a shower is not the gifts - it's to celebrate an event and a person, in this case a mother and a new baby. Hopefully the registries reflect that sentiment. With a first baby, I'd be eager to celebrate the event AND help them get prepared. In this case, since they have most of what they need, I'd get a small gift (I think your idea of diapers/wipes is a good one, since that's something you need for every baby), write a nice card and go have fun at the shower.

Maybe it's the "second child syndrome" in me, but years later it's nice to know your arrival was recognized even if you weren't the first baby to show up Not a big deal - just a thought.

wldktz10 · August 2011

I would look at the registry to see what kinds of things they are registered for. Everyone in my family has had multiple showers and it doesn't seem weird to me, but the second time around things they registered were the kinds of things you don't use twice (like diapers, bottles, burping cloths, etc.). And all those things do add up over time.

Usually when I'm invited to a shower I try to get one or two things off the registry and then buy something super cute I find myself (usually an outfit and a book or rattle or other toy). I'd still do the same thing in this situation.

ETA. Also, if their other baby is still young, she may be still using some of the things that she was gifted (like a crib or a car seat), so it may be that they really do need some things.

Rock-n-Voll · August 2011

ErikandAfton:
Your celebrating the birth of a baby, that's all.

sm23:
To me, the main purpose of a shower is not the gifts - it's to celebrate an event and a person, in this case a mother and a new baby.

I have to say, I disagree with these sentiments. After all, the party is specifically called a "shower," as in "shower with gifts." Of course there's also an element of celebration involved and I, for one, actually love giving presents. But let's call a spade a spade and not deny that the gifts are often a central motivation for the event. After all, if someone showed up at a shower without a present, wouldn't she get a side-eye?

I can't help but feel that the situation OP describes comes across as gift grabby. I think something like diapers and wipes is sufficient or, if you're crafty, maybe making a baby blanket.

StefandTodd · August 2011

Rock-n-Voll:
ErikandAfton:
Your celebrating the birth of a baby, that's all.
sm23:
To me, the main purpose of a shower is not the gifts - it's to celebrate an event and a person, in this case a mother and a new baby.
I have to say, I disagree with these sentiments. After all, the party is specifically called a "shower," as in "shower with gifts." Of course there's also an element of celebration involved and I, for one, actually love giving presents. But let's call a spade a spade and not deny that the gifts are often a central motivation for the event. After all, if someone showed up at a shower without a present, wouldn't she get a side-eye?
I can't help but feel that the situation OP describes comes across as gift grabby. I think something like diapers and wipes is sufficient or, if you're crafty, maybe making a baby blanket.

I agree. We've beaten this horse to a pulp on this board, but a shower is what a shower is - an event where the main purpose is to celebrate the mother (not baby) and give her gifts. That's essentially the definition of a shower.

leolyns · August 2011

Thanks for all of your input. I agree a shower is a shower so I'll figure something out whether it be diapers & wipes or maybe a gift card for a pedicure/manicure so the mom can treat herself to a few hours of no kids.

Baby Shower gift: WWYD

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