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Would you let your children call you by your first name?

My DD will occasionally call my DH by his first name. I have asked him if it bothers him and he said it doesn't. So, we don't make any attempt to correct her.

A poster on another board said it is extremely disrespectful, and that my DH will feel differently when she is older.

So, should I be correcting her? Would you let your children call you by your first name?


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Re: Would you let your children call you by your first name?

  • I've corrected DS when he's called DH by his first name instead of Dad.  It's probably just personal preference, I'd say.  It's just one of my pet peeves!
    Stefanie
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  • DD does it to be funny/silly and I am fine with it (because it is funny/silly).  But in the future, she will not be calling us by our first names. Just NMS, but I think when they are little, they are just learning what your name is.  I think it's cute!
  • I would never let him... I agree that it is disrespectful. I have a hard time even with my nieces and nephews not calling me "Aunt Amy" and just calling me Amy. That's how it is in my H's family cause there are so many people that everyone just calls each other by their first time. I grew up in a small family and I still address my aunts and uncles as Aunt or Uncle... I've been trying to change that with my kid, .... I'll say things like "Go say hi to Uncle Chad."  It's just weird to me, and I don't think like it.
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  • You just have the one kiddo right? When my sister just had one, her son called her by her first name allllll the time, I think its mostly because everyone around her called her that and he just picked up on it. He didn't really start calling her mom until she had her 2nd, then there was more of the name mom going around.

  • Actual KIDS?  No. 

    But, eh - I call my parents by their first names sometimes.  It's just kind of a jokey whatever thing.. I dont think its anything to get worked up over (as an adult).

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  • No, my kids will call us mom/dad. I waited a long time to be a mom, and I love when they say mamamamama. I don't think kids are doing it to be disrespectful, I think they do it because everyone else calls you by your first name. I plan to correct them and remind them how special they are that they're the only people who "get" to call us mom/dad.
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  • imagescpteam20:

    You just have the one kiddo right? When my sister just had one, her son called her by her first name allllll the time, I think its mostly because everyone around her called her that and he just picked up on it. He didn't really start calling her mom until she had her 2nd, then there was more of the name mom going around.

    I agree with this. I also agree with luvjon. My DD is just learning what my name is so sometimes she'll call me by my name. She usually follows it up with "and you're my mommy, and that's your name" but it doesn't bother me really. Once she gets older and knows what she's doing it would probably bother me, but for now she's just learning =]

  • imagehskrmommy:
    I've corrected DS when he's called DH by his first name instead of Dad.  It's probably just personal preference, I'd say.  It's just one of my pet peeves!

    This exactly. If I call Kelly by his name and then Owen calls him Kelly too I correct him. It just feels weird to me. I don't think I've ever called my parents by their first names. They're mom and dad or Grammy and Grampy now. I hate the way Farrah calls her dad Michael in that snotty voice. That's disrespectful. It's really a personal preference and if you don't mind then it's no biggie. The only people I've seen call their parents by their first names were being disrespectful/sassy so it kind of turns me off. 

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  • When I was in high school I called my dad by his first name.  Reason being is everytime we were out in public if I said dad he wouldn't respond at times (I mean crowded areas) and one time I said Sgt Hunter and he responded so it started a trend.  A few years later he asked me to stop and I did.
  • As a small child it wouldn't necessarily bother me and I don't think it's meant to be disrespectful at all but I would say "yes, Evan, that is my name but you call me mom/mommy."  I think it's part of a normal learning pattern for kids.  They hear others calling you by your first name, and you always call the kids by their first name, so why shouldn't kids call you by your first name.....I get it.

     If we're talking a Farrah type situation, that's straight disrespect.  I'll say my parents first names if we're out in public and I need to get their attention but it still feels weird!

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  • I think sometimes kids get confused as to why Mom gets to call Dad by his first name, but they don't.  Kids don't understand societal norms at that age of course.  Part of me feels it's just a title.  Like, I don't go around saying "Supervisor Johnson", or "Sister Christine", or "Neighbor Jane".  But I think some folks think its associated with authority, and how you enforce authority is a total personal decision, and if that's how you feel, great.  I personally wouldn't do anything about it if it were only occasionally.  I'm not even sure I would do anything about if it happened frequently.  If you feel weird correct her, but if not, I don't think it's a big deal.  I would however think down the road, "will I feel weird when she's 15?"  That may help you determine if you should start correcting her now. 
  • If they are doing it to be funny/cute at a young age, then I think its fine..if they do it intentionally to be disrespectful, then obviously that should be corrected.

    Both of the boys have called me Shannon randomly and thought it was funny at a pretty young age, but that's because they have heard the older boys call me that, so I thought it was just a normal thing. 

    Noah called me 'Aunt Shannon' yesterday...LOL!  We were with my neice last week and so for some reason I think he thought of her saying that yesterday and just randomly was like "You're name is Aunt Shannon" and then he'd laugh.  :)

  • Thanks ladies!

    I do think she does it because she sees others call him that. I don't think she does it to be funny, and I definitely don't think she does it to be disrespectful. 

    Now that I really think about it though, she does do it a lot. I guess I will wait and see if she grows out of it, if she doesn't and it starts to bother DH, then we will start correcting it.

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  • I definitely think it's important for kids to know their parent's names (you would be surprised by what some kids don't know).  So, we practice "what's my other name."  And I've heard J get frustrated with DH "Hey Daddy.  Daddy!  DAD!  FIRSTNAME!!!!!"  (This was hilarious to me!)

    But, I kind of have the opposite problem, I watch some kids and they'll call me Mommy.  I correct them and Jameson will say "you're MY Mommy, so I call you Mommy."

    ♥ Married my best friend 3/17/04 | Jameson 3/26/08 | Delilah 2/15/10 | Baby Elmo EDD 8/3/12 ♥
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