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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Discuss: Should she keep the ring?
This story is getting all kinds of attention in Fresno today. To summarize:
James Mekalian, 45, has sued Nichole Grazioli, 30, in Fresno County Superior Court for fraud and deceit in connection with the couple's April breakup. Mekalian is asking the court to order Grazioli to return the 4-carat diamond ring and a 2006 Hummer to him. He also wants Grazioli to pay for nearly $1,000 in credit card bills that she charged after the breakup, as well as pay him damages for emotional distress.
What do you think? Should she give the ring back? Would you?
My favorite place on earth: The Amargosa Valley.
Re: Discuss: Should she keep the ring?
Yes, she should give it back. As I understand it, that's the law in California when you break off an engagement. Not sure about the other stuff he's asking for.
And yes, I would give it back (regardless of law). Knowing myself, if I was engaged to someone and the relationship fell apart, I would want no reminder of it anywhere near me.
Wait, it's the law to give the ring back when an engagement is broken off? I wonder if this applies to gay couples, who can't even legally marry.
Honestly, if the guy was a jerk I would probably keep the ring or sell it. Call me cold hearted, but I have little sympathy for either of them. Granted, I am basing that just on the summary B gave us, not on the actual article.
It varies by state. There's some good info about this here. And according to this article, "In California, it depends on who broke the engagement. For example, if the person who received the ring is the one who is reneging on the engagement, then that person must relinquish the jewelry."
If she broke it off, she should return it. She should also pay him for the $$ she spent after they broke up (IMO that's theft)
Emotional distress? give me a break!
But don't forget this wiggly part:
But there is a tiny word in the law that gives Grazioli an outside shot at keeping the ring, said Fresno divorce lawyer Brian Tatarian, who also is not associated with the case.
The law says the donor may recover the gift or part of its value as determined by the court or a jury. "It doesn't say shall," Tatarian said.
oy! bad idea.
I agree.
per sm23...yes there is case law in CA. Each state has their own rules surrounding it. That said, I did not read the article but if there is proof of fraud then he is entitled to the ring regardless of who ended the engagement. In the state of CA and engagement ring is not a gift but rather seen by the law as a promise of intent to marry and if the marriage does not happen then the ring is then the property of the person who did not end the engagement thus ending the promise.
As for the money she spent after they broke up, unless she can prove express permission by him for her to rack up those charges she is liable and should be forced by the courts to pay the money. But he will need to prove the date of their relationship end to make sure they can ask for all of that money.
The Hummer on the other hand was a gift and thus is hers to keep, assuming she did not fraudulently obtain it from him...but even then he will have a hard time recouping that loss.
Money Matters The other half's blog.
EJ is growing up too fast!
I kept the ring.
Ex Fi broke off our engagement the night before the wedding with no explanation. I was an ABSOLUTE IDIOT, I ignored everyone's warnings and got back together with him. We rescheduled the wedding. He then cancelled wedding #2 the morning of the wedding. I found out later that he'd been cheating on me and had been telling acquaintances for quite some time that he was single. Nice to let me know. I sometimes still can't believe how stupid I was.
So, yes, I kept the ring. In fact, he didn't ask for it back and I certainly didn't offer. I took it back to the jeweler to have her sell it. She didn't try very hard and didn't sell it, so it's in our safe. I may break it up and put the diamonds into something else, or wait and try again to sell it on my own.
My parents forced him to repay the money that they had given us for the wedding, and I still don't feel that that entitles him to the ring.
ETA: I forgot that I also took the wedding band that I bought for him and sold it on Craigslist.
CA law aside... she should give it back. He gave it to her on the condition that she would marry him. Had she refused his proposal, would he still have given her the ring? Of course not. Essentially, this is just a delayed refusal of the proposal, so she isn't entitled to the ring.
However, if she broke up with him because he broke their "contract" in some other way (e.g. cheating on her, or becoming abusive) then I think she's entitled to keep the ring. In such a case, it's assumed that she fully intended to honor the "contract" until he drastically changed the terms of the agreement (or otherwise proved that he had no intention of honoring the promise of commitment).
She should absolutely reimburse him for the credit card charges. That's just dirty pool, charging up your ex's credit card after a breakup. Although, if he had her as an authorized user, he really should have called the credit card company to remove her immediately after the break up.
And if the car was a gift, she should be allowed to keep it. And he should take it as a lesson that if you use money to buy affection and love, that you get what you pay for.
Lastly, she should be aware that any future boyfriend will be able to Google her name and have fair warning of what they might be in for!
"He wants to get on with his life, but how can he?" asked Fresno attorney Zepure "Zeppy" Attashian, who represents Mekalian. "He's suffering because he doesn't know if she really loved him or just loved the possessions he bought for her."
That's pretty stupid. He can't move on because he is already really rich and some woman he tried to buy the affection of is keeping some expensive things he gave her. So he sues so that he cane move on? This whole case is stupid. He gave it to her. She broke up with him. He should have realized what kind of person she was before he decided to spend so much money on her.
And how can she charge money to his credit cards unless he put her on them in the first place? He could have just had her removed.And couldn't he easily say that she charged it all after they broke up, but it was really before? How is he going to prove the date that they broke up? Were there tons of witnesses to their very private moments? This whole thing seems really silly to me.