International Nesties
oneslybookworm
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Dear Husband:
I understand that you don't feel well, and that this head cold/premature sinus infection must truly feel as though you are surely dying. I understand, really...I do. However, if you don't stop acting as though you're afflicted with Ebola and sign these DAMN TAX DOCUMENTS so that we can pay the IRS the extra money we owe them, I'm going to STRANGLE YOU!
PS - And while we're on the subject, don't turn around and tell me that the best way to take care of you is to stop asking you to do things, or I might just go ballistic.
Lovingly,
One-Sly
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Re: Dear Husband:
Dear Husband,
Stop being so critical of how I am handling Quint. When Quint has been under my care, he has never ended up in the emergency room (twice), the house gets cleaned, dinner gets cooked, and he is a good little boy. OK, yea, maybe once I set the kitchen on fire and the entire county fire department was summoned but there was no serious damage. SO stop questioning what I am doing.
Who cares if Quint gets milk on the f'ing floor or wants to use an adult spoon instead of a baby spoon. If you want to stay at home with him, quit your job and be my guest!
Love,
Your Wife
Dear Husband,
I'm glad you joined a rock band - really I am. I've not been this proud since you learned to hang your towel up. But if you have bass amps, pedals and a whole bunch of crap to put in the car, then do it yourself. I'm not your roadie. Oh, and I'm buying the place next door for you to use as a music studio because your mad bass lines interrupt me watching Real Housewives.
Love,
Your Wife
Dear Husband,
I miss your face.
Love,
Leo
Now jumping domestically.
Well that was a crazy couple of years.
Dear Husband,
I realize that you got a sh!tty night's sleep last night. So did I. When the minibeast starts whining and running up and down the hallway, don't start getting b!tchy with me because you can't sleep. If I have to get up with D after 4 1/2 hours sleep, you can make the effort to shut the bedroom door properly.
Love,
Your sick wife
Dear Husband,
I realize your job is stressful and all, but don?t yell at me because you have to work in an unairconditioned office when the temp is above 85. Be a man, roll up your sleeves, take a fan to work (I promise the " draft" will not kill you) and drink some cold beer. Remember, this is Germany, they serve it in the cafeteria at work.
PS. It?s not my fault that the dog has demodex, remember I was on vacation when that started...
Dear (STBX) Husband:
Stop being a whiny brat and sign the damn separation papers so that I can get divorced. All you're doing is delaying the inevitable-- it's a little too late to ask me to go to marriage counseling.
Also, this whole "confidentality agreement" that you're having me sign doesn't start until you sign the damn separation agreement! I've made a lot of friends lately, so I'd sign that paper quick if I were you
Lastly, congrats for finding me on a dating website, you creep! I know you went on it looking for me. By the way, you were never a good kisser.
Good riddance,
Your (STBX) Wife
Dear Husband,
I understand you're, umm, in need of some lovin' and OMG I am dying for some too, but stop being effing selfish! You know we still have 4 more weeks before anything can really happen but twice last week we had a good time when you were in the mood but when I wanted some fun time on a different night you were tired. What the hell?
This one's for you, Onesly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbmbMSrsZVQ
Dear Grumbling Husband,
Although I missed you so very much while you were gone this week, I do not appreciate that the first words out of your mouth after you enter the door were "Uh...why isn't there anything to eat in this house?". And then you get flustered when I get mad at you for complaining.
Did you notice that most everything was packed? Did you notice the house was spotless? Did you notice all your papers were organized? Did you notice I was heading out the door to go buy groceries?
Please, my dear, be patient. We have 3 weeks until we move and so far I have done everything and you haven't had to lift a finger. So dinner tonight may just be a little late. Darling.
Love,
Exhausted and Pregnant Wifey
My Israel Blog!
Dear Husband,
You bought an indoor spinning bike and you're using it every morning. That's great! I'm glad you are enjoying it (even though it means that BOTH of us are waking up at 6:30 am).
HOWEVER. If I find ONE. MORE. BIDON.* stashed in a random place around the house, I am going to do something cliche like shove it where the sun don't shine. AT LEAST PUT IT IN THE KITCHEN SINK. It is not too much to ask, and I'm getting sick of nagging on this topic. I have others.
Love, your wife
* for non-cycling fans, this is a water bottle.
Dear Husband,
You are a wonderful creature and l love you dearly, but quit bitching about having a sore back, neck, etc, and about all these sneezing fits...if you aren't going to do something about it (like make an appointment for a massage or the doctor), then I don't want to hear about it any more. It's annoying!!!
Love you much, your tired of whining wife
Apparently I wasn't done...
Dear STBXH,
STOP EFFING EMAILING ME! I can't block you because if I need a restraining order I need evidence, but really?! Emailing me to tell me that you Skype with the dogs all day while at work is ridiculous! GET A FARKING LIFE!
And again, NO I will not go to counseling with you. I will sign the settlement and go directly to court to get a divorce decree. I will not pass GO, I will not collect $200 dollars and do some funky chicken dance with you. I fully intend to take said agreement to court, get a divorce decree, get my self to Social Security and the DMV and change this ridiculous name that took after marrying you and then get my blonde butt to the bar to celebrate being rid of your insanity!
It's time,
STBXW
Dear Husband,
Happy 4th Anniversary!
Thank you so much for letting me sleep in everyday this week to get over the jetlag.
Thank you for taking M to the mountains today so that I could drink rose with my girlfriends without the kid!
I love you,
Your wife
Dear Husband,
Please give me a decent massage. Pay attention, stay awake, rub more than a single spot (he literally stays in the exact same spot), and massage me for more than two minutes. I'm pregnant and my body aches.
Thanks,
Pregnant, expanding, working full-time, putting dinner on the table, been sick all week, tired Wife