9 to 5
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Advice for handling a bad boss (HR people and others come in!)

While I'm in HR, this is my DH we are talking about and I'm too close to the situation to probably look at this without emotion/bias....

DH has worked for the same company (let's call this X) for 13 years. He started as a temp and was hired FT and worked his way up to being a supervisor and then the most senior person entire on-site team. The environment was services, so meaning a client outsourced a function of their business to DH's company. Thus each day, he went to work at this client's location (let's call the client S) and lead a team of people who together did the work of an entire department.

Client S decided to shut down their operations and move overseas. The shut down occurred in summer 2009 - in the midst of the economic downturn. DH's actual employer X did not have any other clients in the area so DH knew he would need to get another job. While his employer X does outsourcing, their main business is a distributor of medical equipment/supplies. A local opportunity came up to move to this other side of the business in a sales role - so selling the supplies to local companies.  DH had been warned by the previous sales reps in the terriroty and his current boss that the man DH would report if he took this sales position to was a real jerk. However DH wanted to get into sales and we agreed jointly this was an opportunity to develop skills, plus given the economy, outside options were slim.

So DH is now nearly 3 years into this job. He has a very hard terrirory due to the fact that he has hundred's of customers that buy very small amounts (as in just a couple hundred dollars/year) and his 4 largest clients (that all spent in the millions) have all shut down their local operations during the economic downturn. DH's is given a sales target (several million $$) that has continued to go up each year dispite these major accounts shutting down, which he has no control over. In the 4 years prior to DH taking this territory, there was a lot of turn over - - 4 sales reps in 4 years. So there is a track record of sales reps struggling to be successful in this territory.

Needless to say, it's a challenging situation and his boss is always on his tail to sell more...which IS to be expected. However, the guy seems to be crossing the line and I'm wondering if it is on the verge of being a hostile work enivorment. For example, last year I had to travel for work. I was gone for a full week and during that time, DH had 100% of child related responsibilities in the morning and evening. One night around 6 PM, his boss called and DH answered the call. DH apologized in advanced that boss might hear the kids in the background, that it was after childcare hours and I was out of town. His boss responded with "what, just because your wife is gone you can't work?" Another example, boss told him on Monday that he needs to be working 18 hours a day and that he doesn't think DH is putting in the effort since 18 hours is what boss typically works. Now any rational person can do the math...24 hours a day, minus any sleeping (say 6 hours), minus eating, showing, going to the bathroom, whatever....I don't think it's realistic/sustainable for any person to work 18 hours a day. Not to forget, we have 2 kids and I work FT, so there is some family things that he has to do. Next week I have to go to Chicago for 3 days. DH will have to take DD to school every morning at 7:30 - there is no bus to take her. I know if boss wants to meet before 8, he is going to give DH crap.

I recognize the obvious answer is...find a new job. And he is working on that. But part of me thinks that boss is a bully and there is an OK/appropriate way for DH to calmly explain to boss that it is boss's choice to work 18 hours a day and that by DH not doing so does not mean a lack of dedication. I also am worried he needs to stand up to boss or the sh*t will hit the fan next week when I'm traveling and DH's has to cover 100% of parenting duties.

Thoughts?

Re: Advice for handling a bad boss (HR people and others come in!)

  • I'm just playing devils advocate - not flaming you or your H.

    In a sales job, it isn't just about maintaining the clients you have.  That does suck that the four big ones have shut down, but his job is to be going out and finding new clients who can fill those big shoes, as well as finding even more so that the territory will grow.  If that isn't happening, he isn't doing what he was hired to do.

    I find it hard to believe that if your H is busting his asss AND performing well that the boss would come down on him for taking three days to pick up his kids from daycare.  It sounds like there are performance issues and the boss is trying to get him to work harder.  I agree that 18 hours is unrealistic, but I don't think the boss LITERALLY means that he has to work those hours.  He probably means that your H needs to put in more time or effort or something to produce more.  If your H worked 3 hours a day but was a top-performer, I doubt the boss would be on him.

    So, as for what to do.  If he's unable/unwilling to put in more effort, then yeah, start looking for a new job.  I'd be careful about "standing up to the boss" as this can backfire very easily.

    Sorry that was long.

    IUI - BFP! Baby boy born still - August 2012
    IVF - BFP - miscarriage June 2013
    FET - BFN
    FET - BFN
    Switched clinics
    IVF with PGD - three embryos created, all healthy - July 2014
    FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
    Baby Boy born July 2015

  • imageILoveRedVino:

    I'm just playing devils advocate - not flaming you or your H.

    In a sales job, it isn't just about maintaining the clients you have.  That does suck that the four big ones have shut down, but his job is to be going out and finding new clients who can fill those big shoes, as well as finding even more so that the territory will grow.  If that isn't happening, he isn't doing what he was hired to do.

    I find it hard to believe that if your H is busting his asss AND performing well that the boss would come down on him for taking three days to pick up his kids from daycare.  It sounds like there are performance issues and the boss is trying to get him to work harder.  I agree that 18 hours is unrealistic, but I don't think the boss LITERALLY means that he has to work those hours.  He probably means that your H needs to put in more time or effort or something to produce more.  If your H worked 3 hours a day but was a top-performer, I doubt the boss would be on him.

    So, as for what to do.  If he's unable/unwilling to put in more effort, then yeah, start looking for a new job.  I'd be careful about "standing up to the boss" as this can backfire very easily.

    Sorry that was long.

    Valid point. DH is working lots of hours. He typically works a couple hours before the kids get up and into the evening, not including coming home late. DH doesn't normally do pick up - I do that except for a couple times a month. His boss has been saying the 18 hour thing for 3 years and said it to the previous sales rep (DH personnally knows all the prior sales reps who had his terriotry because when he was in the services lead role, it was one of the 4 big multi-million dollar clients, so the sales rep would be out at the client regularly. He has also grown/added clients (even brand new clients that previous refused to buy from DH's company), but they have not replaced the value of the 4 clients that shut down plus the even larger target since the company automatically raises it each year.

    I did HR support for a group of our US sales people in 2008 & 2009 at my company and I can say that over the last couple of years, we have not raised targets of people b/c we recognize the challenges of the economy.

  • On another devil's advocate note, it's not your DH's boss's problem what your daycare situation is.  He just needs to be available when he's supposed to be.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • imageDr.Loretta:
    On another devil's advocate note, it's not your DH's boss's problem what your daycare situation is.  He just needs to be available when he's supposed to be.

    I agree with this, but if the boss gives an unreasonable request, then I understand where there's a problem.

    I hope your H is looking for a new job. He sounds miserable, and life is way too short to be unhappy. He's probably missing out on a lot of milestones with your kids too.

    As far as next week... not much can be done I don't think except to bear it as best he can.

    Books read in 2012: 49
    my bookshelf!
    Katie (gingerfeathers)'s book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Bloggy
  • imageDr.Loretta:
    On another devil's advocate note, it's not your DH's boss's problem what your daycare situation is.  He just needs to be available when he's supposed to be.

    No you're right. However, he is salaried not hourly and thus does not "punch" a clock. As is typical with most childcare, after a certain time in the evening, they are not open. It's not as if he's picking them up at 3 in the afternoon. We are talking 5:30/6.

  • i used to be 100% commission and we were REQUIRED to be in our desks at 8am and 5pm - and out all day selling. Literally the boss was so nuts if you walked in at 8:01am (yes LITERALLY 8:01) you would be written up. I was also the top seller locally at our company as well as in the top 5 nationally with the parent company and the 8am rule applied to me as well. some bosses just suck - stick it out until he finds a new job, that's really sometimes all you can do. good luck!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards