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Hubby "Too Tired" for Sex?? Help!
If I saw this title before my situation, I might think "he's not attracted to you any more" or "he's probably cheating." But this whole thing has got me feeling really insecure and I need some real advice. We just celebrated our one year anniversary and everything has been really great, the sex absolutely included. However, during this year, my husband and I relocated for a new job (for him) and I willingly left my full-time teaching job and have yet to find one in our new locale. He now works 12 1/2 hour shifts and I sit at home looking for jobs and doing other stuff around the house with lots of time to think. We still have great sex whenever we actually do, but the frequency is low. My biggest problem is that even when I try to initiate sex, he says he's too tired. Everything I've read says that when a woman offers it, or starts things up, a man is just going to jump at the chance to get laid. But what do you do when that doesn't work??
I know he still enjoys having sex, and he definitely still finds we attractive. I just don't know what else to do. I feel so rejected when I put myself out there and get shot down. He's really defensive when we talk about it and I feel bad bringing it up because I know he is legitimately exhausted, but I don't feel satisfied...
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks and sorry this is so long.
Re: Hubby "Too Tired" for Sex?? Help!
Back off.
Seriously. The male sex drive is just as sensitive as the female sex drive.
He is tired and you are dwelling on this because you aren't working. Masturbate, get a volunteer position, get a hobby and I bet the glow you get from that will make him more interested in you. Or at least feel less pressured.
I agree with PP, invest in a good vibrator until you can get a job/hobby/etc.
I hope things get back on track for you soon!
Kristi and Kerry June 21,2008
I think we all have been in that situation. In my case, i used to feel sad or angry because I need to feel i am desired.... And one day i caught my hubby doing his thing and i send my romantic feelings to the crap. Im a woman who can satisfaced it self by my own... Maybe sounds weird or selfish but itsnt! Iove him so much and i cant be asking him for sex everytime i want to.
Of course when the opportunity to share with him comes i totally enjoy it, my point is no one needs someone else to be sex satisfaced.... besides iM totally in with the idea you need something interesting to dO....
GOOD LUCK
I totally get it! I had the same thing a few weeks back and I was pretty scared myself. My husband just got promoted and he's home late and when he is he is totally wiped out. So the first few weeks we had way less sex than usual and i started doubting myself. I'm looking for a job too and i also have way too much time to think about it.
The weekends are the ideal time to catch up on the sex you didn't have during the week. Ask him to take a day of from work (when its possible) and really make that day about you guys. That's what gets me through it all.
Now we're a few weeks further and he's getting used to the late hours and the sexdrive is normal again
I'm sure it will change for the better with your hubby too! Good luck!