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Taking the Leap - Long and Rambling
Aunt flow has come and gone since my D&C. The day after it stopped I felt anxious about possibly having unprotected sex again. I talked with some friends at work and one asked, "well, are you ready?" I responded honestly, "I'm ready to have a child, but not ready to have another miscarriage." I realized that I can't live in fear. The only way we're going to have a child is by taking the chance. We had some much needed sexy time last night and it was great. I know it's too early in my cycle to be prego yet.
I still have odd emotions about the whole situation. I've always wanted a spring baby since I didn't really want to be in my 3rd trimester over the summer. When I found out we were due in February, I was so excited. I wouldn't be in the 3rd trimester over the summer, plus purple is my favorite color and that's February's birthstone. IF we became pregnant this cycle, we'd be due in May and I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding. That would be interesting. If we get pregnant in the next 6 months, I'll very likely be way along during some of the summer months. I've thought about this and then basically said to myself, "suck it up." Things will happen when they happen.
It's also odd about people knowing we are TTC. Neither of our parents knew I was off BC and it's not something I talked about at work. I find talking about my experience and emotions therapeutic, so a fair number of my coworkers know too. I don't think family, friends, or workers are going to ask about my cycle, but it's still weird knowing others know we're trying to have a baby.
If you've made it this far, thanks for basically reading a journal entry. It's therapeutic to write things out.
Thanksgiving, 2011
Amanda & Joe, June 28, 2008
Blog of Randomness
BFP 6/10/11; Missed m/c at 5wk6d; D&C 7/18/11, Triploidy BFP 11/24/11, please be our sticky baby
Re: Taking the Leap - Long and Rambling
I'm glad you have this figured out. I wish the best for you and DH that you will be able to get pregnant quickly and for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. I agree with you, that if you are really ready, then things like weddings, etc. shouldn't be a deciding factor about when to TTC, but I know people that do it. It think for them though, it's mostly so they can drink at the reception.
I can imagine that it'd be nerve wrecking to start trying again and then be nervous about having another miscarriage. I think it sounds like you have a good support system. It's a hard decision, because you have to put yourself in the situation of it possibly happening again, to even have the chance of having a child (biologically).
I'm not super eloquent, so I hope that sounded right. TTC when you are ready, whether it's now or a couple months, but it sounds like you are ready now. I don't think waiting another couple months would ease your fear any of having another miscarriage.
Good luck!
It's good to get your feelings sorted out. And I promise- you won't care when you're due as long as you and baby are healthy. Yes, we all have ideal circumstances, but sometimes it doesn't happen that way. The end result is still the same!
Life of mrsjanks
We are kind of in the same boat as you. As soon as my current cycle is over we will have waited the 3 months/cycles that was recommended by my Dr. before trying again. We said we didn't want another June baby, and then we said we don't really want an August or September baby because we were both born in July and my husband said he hated being the youngest in his class. I kind of agreed with him at first, but after thinking more about it, I don't care when our baby is born as long as they are healthy. We were so ready for a baby and after having her taken away from us, I don't want anything more than to try again for our take home baby. No, I'm not ready for another loss if that were to happen, but we just have to keep the faith that things will work out this time around. Now I just need to convince DH.
I'm glad you posted this. I know how it helps to write things out and have people to talk to about it. I wish you the best of luck!