Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Christmas in a hotel
We just had our first baby 3 weeks ago, so this will be his first Christmas. My parents and sisters live 12 hours away. It was suggested that we meet halfway and spend Christmas together this year, which means it will be in a hotel.
My husband wants our son's first Christmas to be at home and feels having Christmas in a hotel is just lousy for everyone. The thought behind the whole thing is that my parents and sisters (and my nieces that I don't get to see) would be able to share in our son's first Christmas. My sisters have had a hard time with not being able to be with us when he was born.
What is the opinion on having Christmas in a hotel? Is there anything I can do to make it really special for my husband and my son and not make it seem so much like we're staying in a hotel?
Re: Christmas in a hotel
I have to agree with your husband. I think your son's first Christmas should be at your home. 12 hours is not really that far and if it is that important to the rest of your family to share in your son's first Christmas then they should come to you.
My FI and I are going down to his parents house this year for Christmas and it is a 12 hour trip as well. However, once we have children we have already decided that we will host Christmas at our house because it is important to create your own traditions and memories with just you, your husband and children as well.
I would offer to host Christmas at your house this year and have your family travel to you.
Cant you and your H just drive the 12 hours to visit your family? Then at least you can stay with your parents or a sister. Otherwise I don't really see a problem with meeting half way. The only hard thing with hotels is you pretty much have to eat out every meal. If you dont want to stay in a hotel, rent a home or cabin somewhere.
Its not like your child will remember his first Christmas anyway so I personally don't think it matters where you spend it. Its not as if I would feel like my life weren't complete if my first X-Mas (or any X-Mas for that matter) was spend someone besides where my parents lived.
I see both sides to this.
I agree w/ wine- your DS isn't going to remember his first Christmas. I don't know that it really "has" to be in your home.
however, at the same time, your DH's wishes matter more than your parents or sisters. You live 12 hours away- there is a lot that they are going to miss out on.
Also, I remember spending one Christmas in a hotel when I was probably around 10 or so. I'll be honest- it's a hotel. It wasn't a cozy home. It just wasn't the same.
I see you all sitting around squished into one room sitting on beds Christmas morning. It's just kind of "blah" to me.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Ditto all of this.
I have to agree with ECB on this one. Spending the entire time in a hotel room or restaurant doesn't sound like fun at all, even if there wasn't a baby. I figure you are going to have Christmas at your own home one of these days, this year is as good as any to start your own traditions.
I also agree.
I am with your DH on this one. I will tell you now that you need to draw the line in the sand with how you are willing to do the holidays now that you have kids (even if the kid won't be crawling by Christmas). For us, we will coordinate schedules with whoever wants to spend time with us at the holidays but on Christmas day the kids wake up in their own house and we don't go anywhere. If others want to come visit in the afternoon they are welcome but I'm not spending all day cooking for 30 people on Christmas. This has worked out well for us so far. When the kids are older we would like to travel and we may alter this to travel over the holidays but for now this works.
We also host several events throughout the year that are our family/friend traditions.
welllll.... i have a had a few Christmases w/o my family and it never feels like Christmas w/o them. For several years now my whole family (all aunts and uncles and cousins) has gotten together the week or so preceding and following the day at a little "camp ground". It is deep in the woods with cute little log cabins and snow pretty much every year guaranteed. The cabins have little wood burning stoves to keep us warm and we spend a lot of time cooking eating talking skiing sledding and playing games. Usually we decorate our cabins for christmas with trees and lights and I love it. I can think of nothing better for my son or daughter to experience for Christmas.
Also, a couple years back i visited my sister in law when she was in town on business at a Disney hotel. It was right before Thanksgiving/Christmas and they made the place look awesome almost overnight. The magic was contagious for me. Since then i have thought having christmas some place like that would be amazing for a kid.
So I guess what I am saying is that spending the holiday away could be great if you make it that way. Maybe it just takes the right venue. I guess determine what is important to make the holiday complete for you and your blessed family. also i don't know if the 12 hour drive is an issue due to time, money or health reasons. If it is money, maybe you can work with your family to have them with you in your cozy home at Christmas.
I think a long drive (I'm not sure if road conditions are typically bad where you are going, but I hate winter road trips here since the weather is always iffy), new baby, and staying at a hotel for the holidays might end up being more stressful. I'm sure your family is probably really excited to meet your lil one, and I know you are probably eager to see your family as well after such a joyous occasion. Are they open to coming to your place at all? Otherwise, is there is a cabin or something similar you all could rent and maybe decorate a little bit? That might feel more homey than a hotel. Or it might be less stressful - eating at a nice restaurant, not having to clean up the house, going to the pool if there is one. . .I think you will probably have a good time either way! Congrats on the baby and good luck!
bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks
bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks
TFAS since February 2013--BFP on cycle 1!
bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks
SA #1 - Slightly abnormal shape, #2 - very low count
Follistim + IUI 3x = BFN, BFN, very late BFP with super low progesterone --> c/p
Moving on to long protocol IVF with ICSI and PGS in August 2014...how in the holy hell did I get here? FU 2IF.
What you and your husband want is definitely the most important.
A cabin in lieu of a hotel would probably be more comfortable, so you can still cook meals (or the ones you want to, like Christmas breakfast and dinner) and spend time as a family.
I think you could definitely make a hotel or cabin comfortable though. Getting adjoining suites is a good way to go, since you'll have a sitting area with chairs. You can put up a Christmas tree, stockings (a lot of hotels have fireplace rooms), lots of decorations. You can bring your family recipe cookies for Santa, and youll still have the benefit of restaurants and maid service when you want it. Holidays could be made a lot more fun with a lot less cleanup
For what it's worth, my husband spent most of his Christmases at hotels while he and his brothers were growing up. Every year they had the same hotel, a suite setup so it felt more like a little apartment. My MIL brought a small Christmas tree, lights and ornaments to set up in the room. The five of them would have Christmas together at the hotel, and then go to their aunt's house for Christmas with the rest of the family.
It was difficult for them to travel, but I think they all have a good sense of the true Christmas spirit because of that. They know it's not all about presents and gifts - it's not Christmas unless they get together with the entire family (and it's a huge family), tell stories, and do the tradition Christmas activities their family does. I too have come to love their family's Christmas!
So, if you have to travel to a hotel, it may not be that bad afterall!