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People who moved abroad with kids...
Hi. We're relocating to Paris in January on a 1-year contract with DH's job. Our DD will be about 3.5 at the time.
Is it unrealistic to assume we can spend the year there without flying home? I wasn't planning on coming back here at all during the year. If anything, we might come back earlier than DH's contract end date for Christmas (since we're going January-January) and DD and I would stay here for good then. My parents and many friends are already planning to visit (and my father lived in Paris about 40 years ago, so I know they will come through on their promise). DH thinks DD will miss her friends & home & neighborhood and that we should budget in advance for return trips throughout the year.
Just wondering how your own kids felt and how you managed things... A year seems like an awfully short time to waste our vacation time coming back to the US.
Re: People who moved abroad with kids...
Hi!
I had Beth here, so I have not experienced your situation, but I'd think a kid could manage fine for a year without visits home. You could always send letters, postcards and photos to friends back home, and Skype is the best thing ever invented. A year goes by very quickly. Definitely make sure DD keeps in touch with her "circle" since it'll help the transition when you return, but if family are already planning on visiting you, I'd prefer to spend my vacation traveling Europe.
I'd wonder if it's your DH who really wants to visit home. :-)
And Paris! I'm jealous.
Methinks DH is using DD as his beard here.
3.5 year olds forget and move on like goldfish in a bowl.
In fact I think too frequent trips home might confuse her more than none.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Leah was born here, so we've never moved with her...but I agree that you shouldn't need to make a trip back. If you know you are only going to be there for 1 year, then I would rather use that time exploring places you haven't been. She may miss her friends in the beginning, but she will make new friends and adjust quickly. She'll probably adjust faster than you and your DH!
Good luck!
If you're only moving for a year and grandparents are going to visit..then no way. I went home after 5 months, but didn't have a choice, we booked a cruise out of the US with my in laws so we went back.
My mother is super close to my son, I told her I'd bring her here, but I don't plan on going back again unless we have to again.
They year will FLY!
Disclaimer-- we don't have kids.
That said, I didn't go back home for 26mos and was fine. My youngest nieces and nephews back home still loved and we're happy to see me, even after that time.
We moved abroad 6 months ago & we don't have plans to go back to our old home town in the foreseeable future. DS is now 5.5 and DD is 3.5. I have to diasagree with those who think a 3.5 year old will easily adjust. Sure, it's been easier on my 3.5 y.o. vs my 5.5 y.o, but it hasn't been a cake walk. DD remembers her friends from "the old house" and still talks about them, just not in an upset way. HOWEVER when she gets in trouble she says she hates it here and wants to go back to "the old house". I chalk that up to her picking the easiest target which will make us feel guilty! Since we don't think we'll ever go back to "the old house" we focus on all the fun things we do here that we didn't do back there.
If I were in your shoes, on a one-year assignment, I would not go back to the US at all in that year. I'd rather spend my vacation time (and money) in Europe, when it's so conveinent to do so. That's the biggest perk of living abroad! That said, since you are moving back I would keep up contacts with DD's friends through skype and or facebook. That's really all she'll need to stay connected for a year.
Even though you didn't ask, the easiest way for DD to adjust in Paris will be to make new friends. But don't forget that when you return to the US in a year, DD will likely be missing her Paris friends perhaps even more than she missed her US friends while she was in Paris. She'll be a year older & that will certainly make a difference.
One more thing -- even if you don't plan to go back for vacation you should at least budget for a flight back -- just in case something happens where you need to go home. I found this out the hard way when my brother gave us 2 months notice for his wedding & I had to go!