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wwyd? sort of silly - borrow my bike?
so i have girlfriend, who i used to be much closer with, but things change and we are still in touch just not as much as when i was married to exh. (she was his lifelong friend , and is one of 3 mutual friends of his I've kept)
we haven't really hung out in over 3 months. she asked to borrow my bike about a month ago to do the trails at memorial with her bf. i said sure and made arrangements for her to pick it up, she didn't get the chance. two days in a row.
so i was like oh well ... guess she did something else. two weeks later she asked again via text. I didn't reply. I've since sent her texts of hellos and encouragement (her mom recently passed and i've been there) I've called her a few times to chat.
today she sends a text to say hello ... lets go to a movie, and oh yeah can i borrow your bike?
I don't mind if she borrows my bike, but i want it back. I'm not using it..it's too hot, before I used it with the kids i took care of. right now i probably wont use it until it cools down, and then next semester.
it cost me only about 120 bucks, four years ago. they run about 190 now at walmart. not fancy at all. she has a job, i dont know why she can't buy her own bike? my concern is that she won't take care of it. and maybe i don' t really like sharing?
am i being mean? it seems to me like she wants to borrow it for an indefinite amount of time as it's been over a month and she hasn't purchased one.
should i
a.) say okay even though it bothers me.
b.) say sure, but when can i expect it back?
c.) say no... (i'm not good at this)
Re: wwyd? sort of silly - borrow my bike?
I'm inclined to say B.. But I'm like you and I have a hard time saying no to friends, even when I want to.
That said, from an outsiders view:
If you think she won't take care of it and you won't get it back in a timely manner... I'd muster up the 'no.' It may not be expensive, but that's money you'd be out if she somehow ruins it.
Honestly, I'd feel like she was only contacting me TO borrow the bike and that would make me inclined to say no as well.
There are so many cheap bikes on CL and in pawn shops. What kind of bike is she needing? Why does she want it? Does she want it to cruise around? Race? Get her from point A to Point B?
The BF found an AWESOME bike at a pawn shop here in Galveston for $40 and I found one on CL for $100. Can you find out what kind of bike she needs and forward her some CL ads?
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
I'm not good at saying no either. But my gut is to tell you to say no.
In reality I would probably say yes, I just need it back by X. Give her a set date and stick to it.
it's just your standard old schwinn mountain bike. I use it to ride with the kids i take care of, and just for leisurely things. i keep it inside and don't have 3 huge disorderly dogs...(my concern about her takign care of it)
she wants to use it tag along iwth her boyfriend. he rides for fitness? at memorial, does rides etc.?
maybe i'll send a link to craigslist. i think the trails at memorial are pretty rough ( i quit the first time i did it)
i don't want to get screwed, and yes i do feel like she's only contacted me (via text no phoen call) because she just wants to use my bike ... my silly cheap bike.
Since she has asked to borrow it in the past and never got around to it, I think she would be hard to get it back from. So option B would be nice, but I have a feeling she wouldn't keep her end of the bargain.
I would tell her that since you need it by (give some date) it may be better for her to get one from (provide a link to Craig's List or something).
I had a friend that I had drifted apart from and she only called/contacted me when she needed something, so I feel your pain.
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I would probably do b - and just say "hey, I am going to start picking up riding again in month XX, so just let me know when you are finished with it."
My guess is that if she hasn't gotten back around to you in this long, it's going to see little use, anyway! haha.
Hey sweets! How ya been?!?!? Miss the heck out of you!!!
It sounds like she's wanting to try the trails. I say let her go ahead and borrow it if that's the general purpose of the loan. But also keep in mind that trails aren't easy to do and if she biffs it (which I've done a lot), she might damaged it. If you don't think she'll be able to replace it if she messes it up, you may want to just joke around with her and tell her to get her own bike to rough it on some trails and that you like your bike in one piece.
Sorry, I find a direct sarcastic response to people who know me is far better than dancing around the truth altogether and creates less tension.
BFF
Molly's Playground
My Office
My Playground
BFF
Molly's Playground
My Office
My Playground
If it bothers you say no.
It's not really fair to say yes and then be upset at the condition it's in when you get it back. That's one of the risks you're accepting when you agreed to loan it. If you don't like the risk just say no.
hey there ! awe molly is so BIG ! miss you too. thanks for your response. you know me well. i said " dang girl, all this time you could have purchased your own bike to beat up" i gave her a time frame and asked her if she had a rack to put it own. to emphasize her taking care of it.
thanks for your replies. she agreed to bring it back by said date and is i think just trying to get a feel for whether or not she likes riding/biking/the trails etc.
to the last poster, i dont know you but i don't think letting someone borrow something means they can mess it up... i expect it back in the same condition. seems like common courtesy.
BFF
Molly's Playground
My Office
My Playground
I agree 100%.
I agree. However, If it's something you can't forgive your friend for if it's lost stolen or damaged then you shouldn't loan it. It's your responsibility to know how you feel about it before you loan it. It's not her fault you're too chicken to say no.
bumping this back up to add... it's been 10 days.
she never did call me or make plans to pick it up last friday .
today is the date i told her to have it back . since weather is cooler now i am prepared to say no if she does ask again.
yay for not having to share my bike
and a ride this weekend.
She sounds like a flake and you're better off for not lending her a thing!
Why doesn't this surprise me? She was probably just using her intentions to appease her bf.