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Question about gift giving
Little backstory: BIL (who is DH's brother) & SIL were the only ones in the family with kids. They each had a child in a previous marriage and they are the same age, 14. They had a baby together 2 years ago. We always gave to the kids on birthdays/christmas/confirmation..whatever.
Now, I am not a "I give so I can get" person, but everyone has their limits.
For my bridal shower, she gave me a set of lotion and bodywash. For a wedding gift, (4 of them came) they gave us $30. Did not get a baby shower gift, not even a card, she was there and brought her mother with her. Not even a card for dd baptism, and again, all 5 of them were there. This past Christmas, we bought for all three of their kids, they gave LB a book. We continue to give gifts to their kids for everything because don't want to take it out on them. It is not an issue of money because they are fine financially, they just choose to spend it on themselves. Even over their own children, they spend it on electronics and such for themselves.
Here is my question: nephew is turning 15 soon, at what age do you stop giving gifts and just give cards? I was thinking 18 but DH is so pissed at his brother and his cheap wife that he wants to stop all together.
Also, would you continue giving to them and the kids or am I just too naive?
Re: Question about gift giving
Ick, thats such a tough stop to be in. Id stop giving bday gifts at 16. As for the other kids, like you said, its not their fault. Maybe just scale down on the gift. A book for the 2 year old and a $5 or $10 itunes card for the teenagers.
Some people are just not thoughtful. Sorry
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my family is not big on gifts. we got bday gifts from parents and aunts/uncles until we were 18. once you went to college, you were done.
but they weren't extravagant gifts - a sweater, a tape (remember those?!), a book....
i wouldn't go above and beyond for them, unless the teen children have genuinely shown their appreciation. if they are as obnoxious as mom and dad, forget it.
They are beyond obnoxious but I feel bad because I look at where they came from and realize they did not have much of a chance to NOT be obnoxious.
Thanks everyone. I would like to give till they are 18, think it is the right thing to do.. just gotta convince DH. When Bil, Sil, her mother and all three kids showed up for LB's baptism party (mind you they did not go to the church because it was "too early") without even a card, it was bad enough. When they asked if they could take leftovers home, I literally saw DH's eyes go red. He has had it with them but like I said, I feel for the kids, they know no other way but to be annoying, lol.
they asked to take leftovers?!
maybe you should wrapped it up and said "merry christmas...in advance."
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I would probably give until they turn 18. If your DH feels that strongly about it maybe he could tell his brother how he feels?
Lol, in the 10 years I have known DH, through BIL's first wife, serious GF and now this wife, we have NEVER been invited for dinner. But of course they are here all the time "stopping by" and wind up staying for dinner.
I would love for DH to say something to him because I see it bothers him, but in DH's family, you dont talk about things. They get swept under the rug and we just forget about them. Been that way since I have known him and it is not going to change anytime soon!