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Cover Letter Review, Please!
Hi Ladies,
Would any of you mind looking over my cover letter? It's been awhile since I've written one and I could desperately use some help. I feel like it's a bit choppy and ADHD-ish. Here is the job description:
Responsibilities: Under the direction
of the Outpatient Oncology Nurse Manager, provides reception,
scheduling, and other clerical functions in the oncology setting, which
includes clinic as well as chemotherapy/infusion activities. Provides
primary phone reception, greets patients, schedules appointments,
performs order entry, compiles reports, and communicates appropriate
messages to physicians, staff, and patients. Performs other related
duties as assigned.
Qualifications: High School graduate or
equivalent and completion of a medical terminology course. Two years of
related medical specialty experience may substitute for the medical
terminology course. Two years experience as a secretary, clerk or
equivalent position. Health care experience is desirable. Completion of a
medical secretary or health information program may substitute for the
experience
and here is my attempt at a CL:
Dear Hiring Manager:
I am writing to express interest in the Ambulatory Coordinator position at Regions Hospital. I am optimistic my educational background and work experiences make me a great fit for this opportunity.
I graduated from the <XXX University> with a Bachelors of Business Administration with an emphasis in Health Care Management. During my time at school I was an officer and co-founder of the <School Club>, held an internship working for the Director of Surgical Operations at <XXX Hospital>, while also working a part time job. This has helped me become a proficient multi-tasker. While at <XXX University> I completed a course in Medical Terminology. I currently use that knowledge in my current job as a Claims Examiner with <XXX>.
Having worked as a Teller at <XXX Bank> and taken classes in Interpersonal and Business Communications, I understand the importance of excellent customer service. This skill also transfers to the promotion of dynamic teamwork and communication between co-workers.
I would appreciate the opportunity to meet with you and discuss the position and my qualifications that are outlined in my uploaded resume. Please contact me by phone at XXX or e-mail at XXX
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Sincerely,
Sarah
(Other info about me that I'm not quite sure how I would fit in is that I am a Certified Nursing Assistant/Home Health Aide (passed at the top of my class) but I haven't yet actually worked at a CNA job... I am eventually wanting to go back to school to become an RN, but I know that a CL is not supposed to be about my wants, it's supposed to be about what I can do for the company. I just have a hard time talking myself up to others!)
Re: Cover Letter Review, Please!
Dear Hiring Manager:
I am writing in response to the posting for the Ambulatory Coordinator position at Regions Hospital as posted [where]. I am confident that my educational background and work experience make me a great fit for your team.
As a student at <XXX University>, I was an officer and co-founder of the <School Club> and held an internship working for the Director of Surgical Operations at <XXX Hospital> While at <XXX University> I completed a course in Medical Terminology, which has contributed to my success as a Claims Examiner with <XXX>. [Try to put something in about the CNA certification that shows you have the educational background to work in this field, even if you haven't gotten a job in this particular position]
My resume is enclosed for your consideration. I can be reachec at [phone] or [e-mail]. I look forward to speaking with you soon.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
Thanks for your reply! Unfortunately, by the time I was able to actually finish applying for the job it was no longer available.
At least I now have a good cover letter template to work off of for future applications...
And back to the job hunt I go...