Sex & Romance
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
nervous
Hello, I am getting married in a few weeks and I am petrified about our wedding night. Any tips on relaxing and easy any discomfort?
Re: nervous
Congrats on your wedding! As far as the wedding night goes, just take it slowly and have fun with it. Make sure you are both comfortable. I'm assuming from your post that you are a virgin, right? Is he a virgin too? Either way, make sure you are both comfortable and ease into it with some making out and foreplay. Maybe some mood music might help, I personally dont like to listen to music during sex, but some people love it. Do you masterbate now? If not, I would recommend it so that you can tell your new H what you like. And I just wanted to point out that you might not have an orgasm on the first try, or even several after that, but do not get discouraged. It is harder for women to have an orgasm than it is for men. Many women are unable to orgasm unless their clitoris is stimulated, like when he uses his hands on you, which is a great way to ease in to sex.
Good luck, have fun, and congrats!
Don't make the emphasis/goal penetrative sex. I got way too nervous our first attempt because I was anticipating it for so long and we just couldn't get it in at all. It was bad; I cried. But after I relaxed again and we just made out and so on, it was no trouble at all to transition to sex.
Oh, and put a towel down if you're not using condoms.
Communication is absolutely key! If something hurts or is unpleasant, let him know! If something feels wonderful, let him know! Talk to him NOW about your hopes and concerns. Get used to talking to each other about sex and how you feel. Also, if he's a virgin (and, honestly, even if he's not), let him know/remind him that he'll need to go slow.
My husband and I were both virgins when we got married (at 29 and 26!), but we'd talked about hopes, concerns, fears, expectations a LOT beforehand. And during our first time, we were constantly communicating with each other. It was really amazing and wonderful, and I'm really excited for you!
High hopes but modest expectations. You are not going to be rewarded with 5-10 years of saved up orgasms because you have been "good". It will require weeks or months to find out what "works". I couldn't orgasm from vag sex until I tried on top.
We have posters here all the time bitter and disappointed with their newly married sex life. You can not expect to start playing baseball and plan on a bases loaded home run the first time up to bat.
Do you have birth control organized and taken a test run with it?
Well, that's kind of rude. Especially to assume one cannot have orgasms while remaining a virgin.
And, FWIW, even though we had difficulties actually having sex, it was phenomenal once we got it in. Yes, even the first time. But I do understand that my experience of always getting an O from vaginal intercourse is apparently not in the majority.
I never said or implied that a virgin can not have orgasms. However many girls have never tried as they have been led to believe it's a sin.
Do you want to tell the bride to be that everything WILL be peachy keen ? I don't get into a boat without a pfd yet I have no intention of sinking.
Hope and pray for the best but allow the possibility in your plans for the worst.