Military Nesties
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

it's been a while...update and vent.

HEY LADIES!!!!  I feel like it has been forever since I have been on here, but I do keep up with many of you on fb.  Things have been going pretty well for me.  Have a new guy in my life and he is pretty amazing!   We met each others families this week and all went well :-)  How is everybody else doing/

You all have been here for me through so much this past year...this week is already proving to be an emotional one for me and needed somewhere to vent.  Sooooo, here I am ha!

This Thursday would have been my 4 yr wedding anniversary.  I can honestly sit here and say I am so happy with where I am in my life. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now and have met and been blessed with SO many awesome people since I moved back to Cali this past March.  Which is why I am confused.  I no longer (for a few months now) find myself missing my ex nor can I even picture myself ever being with him.  I have found a new sense of happiness with someone who has shown me how a deserve to be treated and what REAL respect is from a man.   So, I don't really understand why I have been "emotional" about this upcoming Thursday.  I am happy I am no longer with him and dealing with all his crap...so why the "sadness" (I can't actually say it is sadness that I am feeling...can't really pin point what the emotion is).  This new guy "M", his bro, and my really good friend (who his bro is dating) are all taking me out on Thursday to keep my mind off of what would have been and celebrating what IS now.  I am so grateful for that...I'd rather just skip over the day though.  I pray my ex does not contact me on Thursday...I will ignore any txt or calls but still...

Maybe it isn't "him" that my issue is with, just it being a reminder of where I thought my life would have been by now.

ok, so there is my vent for the day...Needed to get this build up emotion out of my system.

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

Re: it's been a while...update and vent.

  • Oh T. I'm sorry you're sad. I'm glad you're dating, but be careful! Moving on too quickly feels good, but it just delays your actual emotions until later. I know you probably don't think it's fast, especially in comparison with your XH, but it is in actuality soon to be exclusive. I care about you, and this comes from a place of love. I actually forgot my anniversary with XH, although I remember the divorce-versary!

    I hope you have a super fun week! 

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • I think you hit the nail on the head...you're just mourning the loss of what could have been and where you thought your life was headed.  There's nothing wrong with that.  It's great that you have so many supportive and positive people in your life now.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageWishIcouldbeinthe'stan:

    Oh T. I'm sorry you're sad. I'm glad you're dating, but be careful! Moving on too quickly feels good, but it just delays your actual emotions until later. I know you probably don't think it's fast, especially in comparison with your XH, but it is in actuality soon to be exclusive. I care about you, and this comes from a place of love. I actually forgot my anniversary with XH, although I remember the divorce-versary!

    I hope you have a super fun week! 

     

    Dating..yes.  exclusive...no. :)  We arent offical, just dating.  I knew a bunch of people in his fam and same for him with mine.  I met his dad and step mom and he met my parents last night when i brought him, his bro, and our friend to a church thing in SD last night (right past the base!) so it wasn't like formal or anything.  I know what you mean and have always had my best interest at heart and I appreciate that so much.  I am being very careful, I promise :)

      The divorce-versary is something that will def be celebrated.  Thinking a night out in SD???????? ;-D

    Thanks,  SGT!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagethenewme11:
    imageWishIcouldbeinthe'stan:

    Oh T. I'm sorry you're sad. I'm glad you're dating, but be careful! Moving on too quickly feels good, but it just delays your actual emotions until later. I know you probably don't think it's fast, especially in comparison with your XH, but it is in actuality soon to be exclusive. I care about you, and this comes from a place of love. I actually forgot my anniversary with XH, although I remember the divorce-versary!

    I hope you have a super fun week! 

     

    Dating..yes.  exclusive...no. :)  We arent offical, just dating.  I knew a bunch of people in his fam and same for him with mine.  I met his dad and step mom and he met my parents last night when i brought him, his bro, and our friend to a church thing in SD last night (right past the base!) so it wasn't like formal or anything.  I know what you mean and have always had my best interest at heart and I appreciate that so much.  I am being very careful, I promise :)

      The divorce-versary is something that will def be celebrated.  Thinking a night out in SD???????? ;-D

    Thanks,  SGT!

    That sounds great! And are you combining me and Ojo into one friend (understandable, lol)? She's the sergeant! :) 

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • imageWishIcouldbeinthe'stan:
    imagethenewme11:
    imageWishIcouldbeinthe'stan:

    Oh T. I'm sorry you're sad. I'm glad you're dating, but be careful! Moving on too quickly feels good, but it just delays your actual emotions until later. I know you probably don't think it's fast, especially in comparison with your XH, but it is in actuality soon to be exclusive. I care about you, and this comes from a place of love. I actually forgot my anniversary with XH, although I remember the divorce-versary!

    I hope you have a super fun week! 

     

    Dating..yes.  exclusive...no. :)  We arent offical, just dating.  I knew a bunch of people in his fam and same for him with mine.  I met his dad and step mom and he met my parents last night when i brought him, his bro, and our friend to a church thing in SD last night (right past the base!) so it wasn't like formal or anything.  I know what you mean and have always had my best interest at heart and I appreciate that so much.  I am being very careful, I promise :)

      The divorce-versary is something that will def be celebrated.  Thinking a night out in SD???????? ;-D

    Thanks,  SGT!

    That sounds great! And are you combining me and Ojo into one friend (understandable, lol)? She's the sergeant! :) 

     

    LOL sorry...that part was in response to Sgt M's wife under your response:) 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • It's totally normal to feel "sad", to feel like your life isn't where you thought it was going to be, to "mourn" what should have been. Hell, I still feel it occassionally and I've been divorced for 4 years now and am a million times more happy with A then I ever was with xh.

    And ditto Stan, give yourself plenty of time to "mourn" your divorce and to find who you are as an individual before you get into anything too serious with someone else!

    (((HUGS)))

    image
    Missed M/C 11/5/2010 @ 5 weeks, 3 days* D&C 12/3/2010 at 9 weeks, 3 days
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • It is totally normal to feel that way.  I have a really good friend that has been divorced for five years now.  She has moved on with a wonderful person who is just great to her.  Every year on the day of her divorce, she goes and get mani and pedi, treats herself to a great dinner and bottle of wine.  I guess it is like her divorce party.  She planned a girls trip to Jamaica to celebrate when the divorce was final.  She often says that she celebrated a marriage that was not healthy for her so why not celebrate her getting her life back.   

    She is not sad the marriage is over as I have said it was very unhealthy.  She says that her sadness comes from not knowing the person she married.  She said it took her a long time to trust her opinions about people and that is what she says makes her the most sad.

     

  • imageSgt M's Wife:
    I think you hit the nail on the head...you're just mourning the loss of what could have been and where you thought your life was headed.  There's nothing wrong with that.  It's great that you have so many supportive and positive people in your life now.

    This exactly. There is nothing wrong with being sad because life changed directions on you.

    I'm happy to hear that you're doing good.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards