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S/O- Baby timeline Non-clicky poll

clseale13clseale13
in North Florida Nesties
There are a bunch of us in the post below that are all," No babies anytime soon, tyvm!" Who plays a bigger part in that? You or DH? Is it equally mutual?

It's me. 100%. At this point the only reason why I'm thinking about them is that I can't imagine not ever having them. I adore kids. I'm good with them. I always assumed I'd be a mom, so what's my hang up as I get older? Cris has been ready since before we got married. But alas, while I do value/genuinely care about his opinion & feelings, I'm the one with the ute.
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Re: S/O- Baby timeline Non-clicky poll

  • LXLXLXLX
    Very much mutual. H would be okay never having them, but he's okay with too. I'm undecided but leaning towards yes in a very long time.
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  • MaryJaneWatzMaryJaneWatz
    It's more DH than me although the closer I get to 30 the better of a starting point it seems. We have financial goals that we want to meet so that we can afford the kind life we want our children to have. I think the nest is the only place that having "financial goals prior to children" makes sense. Most people IRL tell me not to worry about things like that.
    *Old Nestie, New Name*

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  • Kristin&AdamKristin&Adam

    imageMaryJaneWatz:
    It's more DH than me although the closer I get to 30 the better of a starting point it seems. We have financial goals that we want to meet so that we can afford the kind life we want our children to have. I think the nest is the only place that having "financial goals prior to children" makes sense. Most people IRL tell me not to worry about things like that.

    I tend to agree that if you wait 'til you can afford kids, you'll never have them.  I never thought we'd be able to afford two in daycare, but we made it work.. even if it is like paying a double mortgage payment.

    imageimage
    imageimage
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  • MaryJaneWatzMaryJaneWatz
    imageKristin&Adam:

    imageMaryJaneWatz:
    It's more DH than me although the closer I get to 30 the better of a starting point it seems. We have financial goals that we want to meet so that we can afford the kind life we want our children to have. I think the nest is the only place that having "financial goals prior to children" makes sense. Most people IRL tell me not to worry about things like that.

    I tend to agree that if you wait 'til you can afford kids, you'll never have them.  I never thought we'd be able to afford two in daycare, but we made it work.. even if it is like paying a double mortgage payment.

    I understand that but we honestly could not afford daycare for one right now not to mention all the stuff that goes along with babies.
    *Old Nestie, New Name*

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  • jenhappyjenhappy

    I would say it's more me. DH is ok never having them too, but if I said "Hey, let's stay in FL and pop out a kid in 9 months," he would be open to that, too.

    Also.... the whole "if you wait until you can afford kids, you'll never have them" thing really pisses me off, to be honest. It's an expense. If you are cutting out luxuries to pay your monthly bills, you wouldn't go get a shiny new car. And no one would encourage your getting one who had your financial wellbeing at heart. I completely understand that kids are not budgetable in necessarily the same fashion, but the thought that they CAN'T be, or the implication that you should just go ahead and have a kid and you can figure out how to make it work later? I find it somewhat disgusting, financially irresponsible, and not in the best interest of said hypothetical child.

    < /tirade>

    "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie
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  • MartizaMartiza
    I understand waiting until you can afford it. We could have afforded it before we had DS, but didn't want to devote that money to baby stuff at the time. We are both open to #2 anytime and aren't worried about finances. Now if I ended up pregnant with twins, I would worry about 3 needing full-time childcare.
    Another old nestie with a new name.
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  • MaryJaneWatzMaryJaneWatz
    imagejenhappy:

    I would say it's more me. DH is ok never having them too, but if I said "Hey, let's stay in FL and pop out a kid in 9 months," he would be open to that, too.

    Also.... the whole "if you wait until you can afford kids, you'll never have them" thing really pisses me off, to be honest. It's an expense. If you are cutting out luxuries to pay your monthly bills, you wouldn't go get a shiny new car. And no one would encourage your getting one who had your financial wellbeing at heart. I completely understand that kids are not budgetable in necessarily the same fashion, but the thought that they CAN'T be, or the implication that you should just go ahead and have a kid and you can figure out how to make it work later? I find it somewhat disgusting, financially irresponsible, and not in the best interest of said hypothetical child.

    < /tirade>

    If I could use emoticons I would zombie hug you.
    *Old Nestie, New Name*

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  • nikipizzonikipizzo
    For a long time I thought I would be okay without kids.  But now that I'm 31, I'm feeling like I need to pi$$ or get off the pot.  My completely jacked up cycles throw a wrench in things too.  I feel like if I ever want to have one kid, let alone more than one, I need to get moving.  It's totally terrifying to me though.  The loss of freedom and the financial obligation is scary! 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • chinchilla fiestachinchilla fiesta member
    Third Anniversary
    It's DH at this point in time. He just got started on his job and he wants to make sure that he's totally settled there, as well as us working on our savings more. I think next year is going to be "the year".
    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
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  • duncanpowersduncanpowers

    imagenikipizzo:
    For a long time I thought I would be okay without kids.  But now that I'm 31, I'm feeling like I need to pi$$ or get off the pot.  My completely jacked up cycles throw a wrench in things too.  I feel like if I ever want to have one kid, let alone more than one, I need to get moving.  It's totally terrifying to me though.  The loss of freedom and the financial obligation is scary! 
    That's similar to how I felt as well.

    Actually in my mid to late 20s, I went through a major babyrabies stage where I really felt that drive to have them, despite not being involved with someone I would have kids with. It was independent of that.

    Once I hit right about 30, I started to see the hugeness of the responsibility I'd be taking on almost entirely myself physically and of course theoretically it's 'equal' in the raising, but let's be honest: it isn't anywhere equal. The further I went into my 30s, I felt that I could probably not have them and be happy, but if we DID want one jointly, I wanted to give myself as best of a chance to conceive, get help if we needed it, and have a chance at birthing naturally as I could, which meant having one by 35 (OB policies are more stringent after that), while also giving us a little time to enjoy marriage and get settled financially. So... essentially, I ended up with a small window of a few months to try and end up with a pre-35 baby.

    If I could have had a few more years to blow off though, I would have blown off at least one more easily. On the other hand, the gamble could have just as easily blown up in my face. But, those were my priorities in trying, and despite the non-natural-birth outcome, I at least had the chance.

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  • clseale13clseale13
    imageduncanpowers:

    imagenikipizzo:
    For a long time I thought I would be okay without kids.  But now that I'm 31, I'm feeling like I need to pi$$ or get off the pot.  My completely jacked up cycles throw a wrench in things too.  I feel like if I ever want to have one kid, let alone more than one, I need to get moving.  It's totally terrifying to me though.  The loss of freedom and the financial obligation is scary! 
    That's similar to how I felt as well.

    Actually in my mid to late 20s, I went through a major babyrabies stage where I really felt that drive to have them, despite not being involved with someone I would have kids with. It was independent of that.

    Once I hit right about 30, I started to see the hugeness of the responsibility I'd be taking on almost entirely myself physically and of course theoretically it's 'equal' in the raising, but let's be honest: it isn't anywhere equal. The further I went into my 30s, I felt that I could probably not have them and be happy, but if we DID want one jointly, I wanted to give myself as best of a chance to conceive, get help if we needed it, and have a chance at birthing naturally as I could, which meant having one by 35 (OB policies are more stringent after that), while also giving us a little time to enjoy marriage and get settled financially. So... essentially, I ended up with a small window of a few months to try and end up with a pre-35 baby.

    If I could have had a few more years to blow off though, I would have blown off at least one more easily. On the other hand, the gamble could have just as easily blown up in my face. But, those were my priorities in trying, and despite the non-natural-birth outcome, I at least had the chance.

    I relate to just about everything you said here & feel like maybe 30 yr old DP is where I'm at right now.
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  • PantsOffDanceOffPantsOffDanceOff
    DH and I are on the same page. We both want 2 kids when we are in a financially stable position, hopefully in the next 3 years.
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  • Kristin&AdamKristin&Adam
    I totally get what y'all are saying about really not being able to afford it.  I guess what I was saying is that when we decided we wanted to start TTC, we "couldn't afford it" with our lifestyle.. but we were eating out nearly every night, blowing money at bars, buying clothes and shoes on a whim without thinking about it, I drove a BMW with a ridiculous payment.. so if you looked at what we were doing, yeah, we couldn't afford it.  We made some changes to make it work for us though.  I do realize that there are some situations where you honestly just can't afford it and I wouldn't advise anyone in that position to start popping out babies.. because they are freaking expensive :)
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    imageimage
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