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Should I or should I not say something
My son and his friend across the street like to play together. My son is 6 and his friend is 10. Well, when he knocks on the door I get a bit annoyed sometimes. Why? Because he knocks and rings the bell nonstop until someone gets there. He doesn't wait a few seconds in between while ringing the bell either. It's beginning to get very obnoxious. I'll even hear him say "I know you're in there." It's not a big deal I guess, but I know it's not very respectful either. If I caught my son doing that I'd scold him. I'm pretty sure his friend's parents would probably say something to me too.
I've asked him gently to not do that and my son has told him to stop too (he sometimes tries to take matters into his own hands). Today, my son was out with his dad fishing. His friend saw my car and while I was on the phone he did what he always does...ring, knock, ring, knock nonstop. I thought maybe he'd assume nobody was home. I was wrong. He did it for a half an hour straight and then came back later and did the same thing. Finally I kindly told him my son wasn't home and that he'd be back later. Of course he came back again. I know it wasn't right to ignore him but I wanted to see if maybe he would learn to come to the door in a more respectful manner. What do you think, should I just get over it since it doesn't look like he really cares? At 10 years old, is this acceptable? Like I said it's not a big deal but is it something that needs to be addressed if it hasn't stopped, even after I've asked him to? Should I say something to his parents? I know kids can be impatient but I've never seen one come to the door in such an obnoxious manner.
Re: Should I or should I not say something
That would bug me too! I don't have kids but I am thinking if you can make it sort of a game or reward system of some sort that could work.
I'm not clear on the details but something like when he knocks, he has to count to 30 (slowly) in his head before he can knock again. If he does that, he gets a point or whatever. I don't know, but I'm thinking if you can come up with something that makes it a fun challenge for him that could work, and work fairly quickly.
It's not your kid so it isn't your responsibility but since he's doing it at your house, that may be the quickest way to stop this annoying behavior.
I've never spoken to his parents except when they came over when we first moved in to tell us that they may be a "little loud" since they were having friends over. That was the only time they ever talked to me. We've lived here for 2 1/2 years. I'm not sure why we don't talk to each but we just don't...even though our kids play together.Sometimes the Dad talks to my husband. I just keep to myself. The boy does sometimes seems to be hyperactive and I've thought maybe he's got ADHD or something. I don't know. I'll try to make a game out of it like the above poster suggested. If it still doesn't stop I'll talk to his parents. We'll see what happens. Thanks for the advise!
ITA You must have way more patience than me.
Don't beat around the bush. Open the door, say firmly, "Stop ringing the bell and knocking more than once. This is why we're not answering the door for you. We're not going to allow Son to play with you until you learn the proper way to ask for him," and then shut the door.
Repeat it a few times if he doesn't get the hint, and if he STILL won't knock it off then speak to his parents.
Bottom line - it's your property and it's your kid. Being gentle might spare his feelings but evidently it's not getting your point across. It's not mean or rude for you to be blunt with him - it's your right to do so, and it's not like you're harming him or calling him names. Dollars to donuts says he acts like a brat because his parents, and everyone else, don't discipline him because they're afraid of hurting his feelings. He's a KID - you should not be afraid of him. Getting your feelings hurt is the way that people learn things ... if something feels bad (not getting to play with your son, getting a blunt answer and a shut door from you) then he's probably not going to do it again.
You're completely right. I should put a stop to it right away. I'll just have to be firm and blunt with him and if his feelings get hurt.....oh well. Before I know it, his dad will probably be at my front door.
You're completely right. I should put a stop to it right away. I'll just have to be firm and blunt with him and if his feelings get hurt.....oh well. Before I know it, his dad will probably be at my front door.
So what? If his dad doesn't like it, start going to his house as six in the morning and ringing the doorbell and knocking endlessly until somebody answers.
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I haven't read replies but I can firmly state that I wouldn't tolerate this behavior from a 10 year old. I wouldn't be a shrew but I would kindly and gently tell/teach him how to ring my bell and give me a chance to respond. I would certainly send him home each and every time he pounded on the door/bell and acted rudely.
No playdates unless he rang nicely.
I don't know why you think it's kinder to accept such obnoxious manners and behavior.