Family Matters
GreenMonkey1
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Counseling Book Suggestion?
Can anyone suggest a useful marriage counseling book? DH and I are looking for a counselor to help us learn new skills to deal with his parents. In the meantime I'm looking for something for something to get us started.
Re: Counseling Book Suggestion?
More backstory will help.
So will his standing up to his parents and growing a spine.
Haha - or just buy the book and then leave it out for your in laws to see chillin' on the coffee table!
yikes
Generally speaking - My MIL is intrusive, pushy, and a drama queen. She honestly does care and is a good person. But (and it can be a big but) when she does not get her way it can be an explosive mess.
DH does have a spine and does stand up to his Mom. However, we both agree that a new tactic is needed as we end up dealing with the same behavior just a different permutation. MIL has gotten better since we got married - lots of boundary setting. But we're going to TTC soon and know that will bring out behaviors that we don't want to deal with (but will have to).
'Codependent No More' is all about setting boundaries: http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025. I suggest you and your H get copies and discuss it together.
Like I said, the title sounds a lot worse than it is....but it actually is full of a lot of helpful advice in dealing with various scenarios. My friend also recommended another book called 'wife's guide to inlaws'. I haven't picked it up because I think this book is enough (for now)
I?m actually thinking that my hubby should read this book too - aside from giving advice on how to handle his own parents, it might help him with mine. My parents are relatively cool and mind their business, but at the same time they could fall under the 'masters of chaos' category outlined in the book. Not so much that they cause problems in our relationship, but it's just way too much drama going on with them sometimes that winds up getting vented to me, which can be upsetting. It's complicated to really explain. I?m kind of glad I don't live too close to them only because I am removed from most of it.
You know what....in the end, we all have some kind of baggage....some worse than others
Make a pregnancy ticker
Thanks for the book suggestions - I'm going to see what I can acquire through the library system in my area. We could certainly use some situational based suggestions.
I've read (and own) "Codependent No More" - great book. I would really like my husband to read it - I think it would help him be more proactive with his Mom.