July 2010 Weddings
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Now that we're a full year into our marriages

Do you call your in-laws mom and dad? Just curious - DH and I had a talk about this last night.

I want to - just for whatever reason I haven't actually been able to bring myself to say it out loud. I call them mom and dad in emails but that's about it. I don't know why I haven't said it yet - I think it's because I KNOW when I do, a big to-do will be made about it. Like if I say Mom - I know she'll give me like this super long hug and kisses and all that stuff. Which is fine, but I guess it's just that I don't want it to feel like a big deal if I do. I just want to be able to go about things normally and not have it be a 'thing'. You know?

 

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Re: Now that we're a full year into our marriages

  • Nope, and i don't think i ever will. I have a mom and a dad (even though he's not here anymore). I feel weird calling anybody else that.

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  • I don't call them mom and dad, although I always thought I would before I got married.  The truth is they cause so much stress in my life that I don't feel that close to them.  I love them because of what they do for me and DH, but I don't get that family vibe.  Probably because their family is so different from mine.  While my family is very open and talks to each other about every little thing, theirs is so closed off and it seems like they deal in secrets and can't talk about their feelings about anything. 

    In short, no I don't, and probably won't ever.

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  • imageGracefulMeadow86:
    Nope, and i don't think i ever will. I have a mom and a dad (even though he's not here anymore). I feel weird calling anybody else that.

    This exactly.  I am sure when little ones come along I will call them whatever grandparent names we/they choose.  At one point in my life I thought I would want to call them  mom and dad since I've known my IL's since I was 16, but given the nature of my relationship with my MIL and how drastically it has changed in the past 2 years.... yeah, no.  At this point I don't ever envision myself calling them mom and dad.  Not sure DH shares my opinion but he's super awkward about this kind of stuff so I'm sure he does it out of shyness.  

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  • Nope. I don't think they would even want me to. I'm not that close to my IL's and I'm pretty sure that MIL resents me because I've "stolen" her little boy. They don't really view me as a part of the family, so I don't see myself every calling them Mom and Dad.

    I think DH would be weirded out by calling my parents Mom and Dad, though he gets along well with them.

  • DH is totally cool with calling my parents mom and dad. However MIL and FIL have two other DIL's and neither of them call them mom and dad, so I probably won't. They're very nice, but I totally agree with pp that I already have a mom and dad and it is just a bit too odd. Once they're granparents that may be easier.
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  • I avoid it...!!  So does my SIL.  About a year ago my MIL said she wanted to make sure that we knew it was ok with her to call her anything we wanted.   She had had this conversation with SIL the year before. We promptly changed the topic of conversation and are just waiting til we have kids :)

    My siblings spouses all knew my parents from the time they were kids (14 or younger)... so of course they said Mr. & Mrs. Jones until they were married, and I sorta think they avoided it until my nieces & nephews were around, and then it was grandma & grandpa. 

  • They wanted me to, I won't do it.  DH calls my parents by their first names, and they were so formal with me even after we first got engaged that I just can't do it.  I also think it would be disrespectful to my stepmother, who I call by her first name.

    I agree that once there are kids in the picture that it won't be a probably to call them whatever names they choose. 

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  • I call my in-laws by their first names or Mom and Dad... It depends on the moment and what's going on. My MIL called and left me a message the other day and she said "Hi Amy, it's mom..." We have a great relationship though. DH doesn't call my parents Mom and Dad, but he usually calls them Mema and Papa b/c the kids are usually always around.
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  • My ILs sign cards to us mom and dad but I don't call her mom and dad.  I call them by their first names.  DH calls my mom by her first name.  My parents called their inlaws by their names or grandma/grandpa so that is what I do. 

  • my FIL is not in the picture but I do not call MIL "Mom".  I love her to death but I just feel like I have one mom and it would just be weird to call her mom. I don't think she minds that I call her by her first name.
  • Wow - I guess I'm in the minority! DH has no problems calling my parents mom and dad and actually both my parents called their in-laws mom & dad so it's not a weird concept to me at all. I'm sure once kids come along that will change things up a little too.

    It's interesting to hear that none of you guys call your in-laws mom and dad...I would have guessed at least a few would!

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  • Nope and DH doesn't call my parents mom & dad either. We probably never will. I call them by their names or if I'm talking about them to someone else I call them mother-n-law & father-n-law. I have a mom & dad and DH has a mom & a dad. I think it would feel weird calling someone else mom or dad for some reason. I think whatever you want to do though is fine too.
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  • Agreed with most people here.  Love my inlaws, but I still feel sort of awkward calling them by their first names!  When I first met them, they told me to call them by their first names, but I insisted on Mr. and Mrs. ___ (I was 18 at the time).  So I just transitioned into first names when we got engaged!
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