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University / children life balance - advice!
Hi All,
This is my first time posting on here, so I?ve posted the same question to a couple of different boards ?cos I didn?t really know where it would fit... Anyway, I?m a 25 year old Australian and I?ve been married for just over 2 years, my husband and I have been together for 5 years. I?m having a bit of trouble with some brain vs. heart decision making. I intend to go to uni (college) next year to start a 4 year degree, however I also really want to start a family sooner rather than later for a variety of reasons. I?ve come up with a few different approaches to achieving both of my goals;
- Do 2 years of my degree, take 12 months off for maternity leave then go back and complete my last 2 years
- Have the baby now-ish and start uni in 2013 (allowing me to stay home with baby for a few years while studying)
- Complete all 4 years of my degree and leave starting a family until I?m 30 or so.
The last option is my least favourite because I would like to get straight into my career once I graduate.
Basically, I?m just after some advice and information about what other parents/students have done. What have you done and what worked for you? What would you change or do better?
Thanks ladies, any help is appreciated!! 
Re: University / children life balance - advice!
If you truly want to finish your degree, I think you should do the last option.
I don't have children, but it's not something to underestimate. You may not want to finish, or do it as easily as you think. Plus, is your family prepared for the expense of a child plus childcare while you're not working and finishing your degree? Even if you did work PT, without a degree you won't be making as much as you could.
And what happens if you don't have a kid right away, and it takes a year to conceive? Then you're putting school off even longer.
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Also, if you wait until you are 30 to have a baby AND start your career, a full 12-month maternity leave may be a luxury you can't afford.
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Do you plan on working while going to school? Does your husband earn enough to support a family of three? Who watches your child while you're in class and your husband is at work?
I'll be honest - it would be hard (not impossible, but hard) to be a college student with a young child. I wanted to get through grad school before becoming a mom, and I'm glad I did. My husband just finished his grad degree earlier this year, and I'll tell you - it was brutally stressful at times, for both of us. We both work full time, and I ended up doing the lion's share of the housework and taking care of our young son while he did schoolwork. We made it work, but make no mistake that it sucked hard core. It was exhausting for both of us.
I plan to go back for my doctorate someday, but not until my children are much, much older. There's just no way that I'd care to juggle it all right now.
I wanted to have a baby and stay home with him for at least a year before establishing my career, but like you, I wanted to go from school to career. I got pregnant a few months before undergrad graduation and started graduate school with a newborn. Most of my grad classes were hybrid classes (a few face to face classes but most of the work was online). Grad school with a newborn was a cinch for me. Seriously, the best combo ever. I wore my son in the moby, and he would take a three hour nap while I studied and completed assignments. I started my second graduate program when my son was 18 months old. I put my son in nursery school two mornings a week for this degree. Between nursery school and his afternoon naps, I don't find myself struggling to stay on top of my classes. I have a very supportive husband, so that's a huge help. I was even able to study abroad in Peru for a few weeks last May. I'll graduate this December, and hopefully start working this January when my son turns three. The timing of all of this has been great for my family.
I do think it's important to point out that my graduate degrees are in education and library science, and that most of my fellow students work full time. The graduate programs are designed with all of this in mind. In my experience, undergraduate programs at most universities are designed with the young, single, unemployed, traditional college student in mind. Any of your options are workable, but I think option 2 or 3 is probably your best route. If you're sick a lot during your pregnancy or you develop a complication, then you could end up having to drop a semester of classes with option 1. You may also find you are not ready to put a 12 month old in a childcare setting, and need to take an additional semester or two off before returning to school. Some people can take a long break and jump back into their programs, but many people lose momentum if they try to do that. If you choose option 2, I suggest not being in a big rush to finish your program. Take classes every semester, including summer, but don't take a full load.