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Attending gay weddings?
Yes, I had to ask a gay marriage question. It's something I have been wondering for a long time, and have not seen it discussed (if I'm wrong, I apologize).
If you are against gay marriage, would you attend a gay wedding? It's on my mind because a very close friend of mine is marrying her partner soon in MA. What do people who disapprove of gay marriage do when they are invited to one? Abstain because you disagree, or go because it's important to the person who invited you?
Re: Attending gay weddings?
Would you only want people there who politically support legalized gay marriage, or are you ok with people who love you and your partner, have no problem with your relationship, but only support civil unions for instance?
My friend who is getting married is a family friend. My parents do not support gay marriage, but have no problem with civil unions. As far as I can tell, they are very happy for my friend and planning to go to the wedding.
it's extremely sad that you can't seem to want to put aside your own personal beliefs to support your friend, but I suppose I wouldn't want any negativity on my wedding day.
and why are you friends with this person? sexuality is a huge part of someone's identity, I'm surprised you continue to have contact if you have such issues.
Are we talking supporting gay marriage constitutionally or religiously?
I don't see how not supporting gay marriage because of religious reasons (this has nothing to do with the law) is any different than not supporting a different faith. I may not be Jewish, but I can attend Jewish weddings, even if I don't believe or even support the religion.
That said I've even been to weddings where I really didn't think the couple should be getting married. But I loved them, and had no right to interfere with their decision (consenting adults), so I was there with I smile on my face, because those people were important to me.
Nice assumption, ssinca.
My guess is they either don't know where you stand on the issue, or don't care b/c they want you there anyway. The ball's in your court. I imagine it would cause more of a stir if you didn't go, b/c they might be sensitive to having people they are close with turn down their invites (unless they know you have a legit reason to not be able to make it). If you don't go, they might be hurt and take it as a statement that you don't agree with what they're doing, and could damage your relationship. If you're comfortable going and are able to be genuinely supportive and congratulatory, go. But if you can't, then don't. You can be honest with them; don't be surprised if it ruins your relationship. If it were me, I wouldn't have enough room in my life to have people in it who didn't support me or who I was.
Maybe this is an opportunity to really think long and hard about your feelings about this issue and whether or not discriminating against gays is worth it to you. The tide may be turning in the other direction. Rather than gays lacking social acceptance, it may be those that don't support them that will lack the social acceptance. I think it's fair (see how it feels-and your belief is a choice; their sexuality is not) and probably necessary for change.
I'm confused.
Why do you support Civil Unions over Gay Marriage? If you support soley civil unions, we are still being treated as 2nd class citizens. Why would you want someone you care about be treated as a second class citizen? It's NOT fair.
If you don't support some one in there entity I wouldn't go. As a woman who had a gay wedding, I did not want the negativity around. It wasn't worth it to me. Our day was there for people to support us in every asspect of our wedding.
If I didn't believe in a heterosexual marriage, for various reasons. I wouldn't attend. When you attend a wedding you are there, to show them love and support, and you don't support them fully, why go?
Supporting legalized marriage is less important to me than knowing they support us as a couple. My groups of friends/family is diverse and I wouldn't expect every opinion to be the same. However I would want all my guest to believe my love is just the same as any other love.
I think this is an extremely personal decision, so I'm just going to give my two cents about my own wedding.
my wife's brother and sister-in-law are evangelicals, and are strongly against gay marriage. we did not think that they would come to our wedding and were not surprised by the RSVP, complete with a hand-written note to her about their feelings on it. her parents are small town Catholics and we knew they would struggle with the decision. in the end they also decided not to attend, although her mother would call occasionally and ask questions about where we were in the planning process and what we were doing for certain things. do I wish they would have come? yes, without a doubt--in large part because of the hurt and direct rejection that my wife felt, most especially from her parents. it was important to her that they would be there to witness such a monumental day in her life. we weren't asking for anyone to support the legality of it, because it wasn't legal. we're in Ohio and Issue 1 saw to that back in 2004. we were hoping that they could support us as a couple and recognize the commitment we were making to one another. this was not about politics, and it was not about secular law. this was about us.
her mother has since expressed regret at not coming, and has cried with my wife while looked at pictures from our wedding, but pictures are not the same--and perhaps bearing witness might have opened her eyes a little sooner. her father has not directly expressed regret, but he is a very private person who does not do so readily. I do not expect him to, and his recent interactions with us both seem to indicate that he is coming to accept our marriage in his own way.
okay, that was really long and I'm not sure that I actually answered the question, but there it is.
I thought you said you do oppose gay marriage, no? So you would have voted no on prop 8?
Opposing gay marriage = yes on Prop 8.?
Yes I know. I was asking if since she isn't opposed, would she have voted no. But thanks.