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My answer to Ritzy - loooong
In an effort not to clog up the interview post...
Ritzy19:
Jennic ? Did you and DH ever resolve the issues with FIL's wife? I seem to recall some strange drama about some used luggage that she gave you guys and DH blowing up on her. Then there was something in regards to some work drama too. I think I need a refresher please.
How long do you have?
So, the original issue was... We went over to FIL/SMIL's house for dinner and quite casually were talking about this and that. Eventually we got to the subject of subbing work out to India, which my company did with a software package that I was in charge of about 2-2.5 years ago. Somehow, SMIL started talking about how we should have hired her to do it (mind you, their company does not advertise nor do outside software development and she doesn't have any degrees in this sort of thing). DH and I tried to deflect the questions, keeping it light and laughing it off. I basically said that we went the way we did because my company is a cheap-ass and we got it for about 10% of what it would cost in the U.S. (which is why is was kind of a PITA to deal with the project). She insisted that she would have been able to do it better and cheaper - without even asking, let alone understanding, the scope of the project or purpose of the software.
Somehow, DH's dad & uncle were able to get the subject changed and we thought we had a decent night for the rest of it. Oh, this was also the night were we showed them our first u/s pictures and her only comment was "when <her dog> was pregnant you could see a bunch of spines and tails on the u/s." No, 'oh that's cute', or even a congratulations.
So, a couple weeks later DH goes up to her at work (he works for FIL/SMIL) and asks a question about some coding on their website - which she wrote a decent amount of it. I think he asked a couple times before she stopped ignoring him and responding "why would you ask me since you think I'm such an idiot". She was basically saying that we assaulted her that night and called her stupid because my company didn't hire her for a job that she doesn't do and knows nothing about. DH got into a huge fight w/ her.
I'm not even going to get into the luggage part of the fight - this is already way too long. For our wedding present they got us two pieces of luggage (which we didn't need, we have plenty of luggage - they know this) that were wrapped in black garbage bags and smelled like their dogs. We hadn't touched them in two years, so in response to the fight, DH took the 'presents' back to his parents - garbage bags & all - and put them in their office. We're not sure if they've noticed that they're there or not, though, because their office is such a pigsty.
Anyhow, that was months ago, and even though DH works with them, he has spoken to SMIL probably 2-3 times since it all happened. He told me he didn't want me inviting her to the baby shower (not like she would have come anyway) and about a month ago, FIL and DH's uncle came over to dinner alone. She was supposed to come, but we got a call while they were on their way saying she "wasn't feeling so good". Under normal circumstances, I'd be pissed that they gave us no notice that dinner would be for 4 instead of 5, but I was just so glad we didn't have to deal with her that night. It was a lovely night and I'm sure everyone had a much better time.
Not sure what will happen when the baby comes, but I'm sure she could care less unless there's some way to spin the attention onto herself. And, of course, DH and I are so mean, so she's got a great excuse (in her own head) for not reaching out to us.
Whatev - I'd rather not be around her anyway. Man - I left out so much and its still a novel. Happy reading!
Re: My answer to Ritzy - loooong
That sucks,
I remember you telling this whole story a few weeks ago... I am pretty surprised that she is still upset. But whatever, as long as you don't have to deal with her drama much anymore, it's all good!
Serendipity3, South Beach, Miami, FL 2012
I think FIL doesn't want to get divorced for a third time. And, they own a complicated business together which would be very difficult to separate. I don't think either of them are happy.
I wouldn't want her at your shower either. She sounds like a complete nut. Let's hope she just stays away once the baby arrives and you don't even have to deal with her period.
Is DH's mother in the picture? Do you get along with her any better?
Yikes. Sounds like a wonderful environment for your DH to work in every day.
Yeah, its definitely not a good environment for DH. Thankfully, SMIL stays away from him a lot and either works from home or holes up in an office without interacting with anyone.
I've been getting along a lot better w/ DH's mom, but she's a little nutso too. I think she realizes that I'm giving her a grandchild, so she's on her best behavior so that she gets to come around more often.
Hahahaha... very true. She knows who holds the control and what's good for her. lol