March 2009 Weddings
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I need a stiff drink, too.

I am stressed OUT. Working moms...please...how do you cope/deal/handle?

I spoke to my boss about where my focus should be the next few weeks, so that helps a lot. It's everything else. I just feel so much pressure to do it all- and it's all put on by me- no one else.

Like I worked from home yesterday and needed to work, take care of Ava, but also do the laundry, dishes, wash bottles (omg always washing bottles) , dinner (ok, fine H helps here), yadda yadda yadda?.

 And  then there is my desire and need to be able to go to the gym (like I seriously  need to calm down and realize if I DON'T go the gym 5-6 days a week, it is OK and working out/exercising 3-4 is perfectly acceptable)... I kind of lost it.

Add the fact I have AF (again) and my mood is just sh!t. Not to mention yesterday was just a tough day WFH for the first time and my daughter who would not NAP at all (maybe she was excited I was home? Who knows?)

  I need help around the house, and it needs to be shared. I am running ragged and it?s only my second week back. I need MH to just do things. But the issue really is I am so fvcking type A I can't wait for him to do things I want them done when I want them done?just kind of a ramble and vent...I need to stop thinking I can be super mom/wife/worker. Yes,..I've talked to him about this, and it is totally me thinking I can do it all and getting frustrated that I am tired and can't. Me= overachiever. Again, I have mentioned this to MH...it's just I need to move out of my own way and CHILL. 

 My mom and MIL are indeed a big help as to watching her. Today is my mom?s first full day, so hopefully she'll be a good girl (both of them). MH is going to the sox tonight with his dad, so my mom is staying over for dinner. My sister is watching Ava for us Sat night overnight so we can go to a wedding?Yikes...first night away. :/

It will be fun, but I think H is more excited than me.  

/end vent. 

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Re: I need a stiff drink, too.

  • I know I keep saying it, but it DOES get better. JJ's first year was rough emotionally and physically on me because I went back to work seven weeks after he was born and was always on the road. My sister was around to help - somewhat - but I mainly did everything by myself. It takes time to find a routine, and then just when you find it...bam. Baby's on solids instead of formula. Or bam...nighttime routine changes. There's so many changes during that first year that it's hard to keep up.

    I'm very much Type A, too - when H was here helping me out through gallbladder surgery recovery, I flipped my lid on him a few times because he just didn't do things when I wanted them done or how I did them. I wound up doing all the cleaning by myself...that man's in trouble when we make the move...

    But anyway. Keep talking to H about helping out. I had to show H how to clean the bottles and do JJ's laundry [we had to use special soap with him since his skin was super sensitive as a baby], and once he got the hang of it, he just did it on his own. Take some time on Saturday to just relax - I know it'll be easier said than done, but you can do it! 

    And btw, I'm jealous of your workout routine. I can't get away enough to work out, so I do a lot of it at home [when I can]. If I could make it to the gym twice a week, I'd sing to the heavens. :P

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  • I completely understand. I'm so whacked in the head that when Greg steps up and does housework, I take it as a personal insult. Like he's passive aggressively telling me I'm failing at my wifely duties.
    imageimageimage
  • imageFive_letter:
    I completely understand. I'm so whacked in the head that when Greg steps up and does housework, I take it as a personal insult. Like he's passive aggressively telling me I'm failing at my wifely duties.

    So, we don't even have kids yet and I do that too.  Poor thing can't win.  I get mad when he doesn't help and mad when he does.

    Is this a woman thing because I'm not really type A?

    image

    PCOS and Endo

    Ovarian drilling and endo removed 1/3/12
    BFP - 3/27/12
    Beta's 11, 14, 57, 637, 2800
    Sono showed no baby and teeny tiny sac. Waiting to M/C naturally.

  • imagejanda309:

    imageFive_letter:
    I completely understand. I'm so whacked in the head that when Greg steps up and does housework, I take it as a personal insult. Like he's passive aggressively telling me I'm failing at my wifely duties.

    So, we don't even have kids yet and I do that too.  Poor thing can't win.  I get mad when he doesn't help and mad when he does.

    Is this a woman thing because I'm not really type A?

    It might be - but my sister is the complete opposite. She loves when her boyfriend steps in and cleans up for her [they're pretty much living together]. She just sits back and watches.

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  • Working from home (with working being the key word here) with a baby in the house is absolutely impossible and a pipe dream for people like you and I.
    imageimageimage
  • imageFive_letter:
    Working from home (with working being the key word here) with a baby in the house is absolutely impossible and a pipe dream for people like you and I.

    Totally.

    And I wouldn't mind if he cleaned more. He is good at it when he DOES it. Don't get me started on how he makes the bed... 

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  • My H will do dishes and laundry and by laundry I mean he can put them in the washer and dryer.  They will stay in the dryer until he wears them or I fold them.

    Men...

    image

    PCOS and Endo

    Ovarian drilling and endo removed 1/3/12
    BFP - 3/27/12
    Beta's 11, 14, 57, 637, 2800
    Sono showed no baby and teeny tiny sac. Waiting to M/C naturally.

  • imagejanda309:

    My H will do dishes and laundry and by laundry I mean he can put them in the washer and dryer.  They will stay in the dryer until he wears them or I fold them.

    Men...

    HA!

    Yah....H hasn't done laundry in who knows how long...

    Add that to when I ask him to fold it, he will...but he will very rarely, if ever, put it away.

    It's a Left brain vs right brain thing I think. 

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  • I couldn't imagine working from home, plus taking care of Robert.  I can barely take care of him, clean up the house and make dinner.  Most of the time DH takes care of dinner or at minimum helps with prepping.

    Have you considered hiring a cleaning person?  I think having two working parents, it is sometimes a need for your sanity.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagealyssa44:

    I couldn't imagine working from home, plus taking care of Robert.  I can barely take care of him, clean up the house and make dinner.  Most of the time DH takes care of dinner or at minimum helps with prepping.

    Have you considered hiring a cleaning person?  I think having two working parents, it is sometimes a need for your sanity.

    We do actually, every other week. They do not however do our laundry, babes laundry, etc.

    It's the every day stuff. 

     

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  • imageiheartcutepuppies:
    imagealyssa44:

    I couldn't imagine working from home, plus taking care of Robert.  I can barely take care of him, clean up the house and make dinner.  Most of the time DH takes care of dinner or at minimum helps with prepping.

    Have you considered hiring a cleaning person?  I think having two working parents, it is sometimes a need for your sanity.

    We do actually, every other week. They do not however do our laundry, babes laundry, etc.

    It's the every day stuff. 

     

    I was thinking the same thing, we all may have to come up and have a husband intervention.

  • imageiheartcutepuppies:

    imageFive_letter:
    Working from home (with working being the key word here) with a baby in the house is absolutely impossible and a pipe dream for people like you and I.

    Totally.

    And I wouldn't mind if he cleaned more. He is good at it when he DOES it. Don't get me started on how he makes the bed... 

    Ugh, this has been so very hard. Especially when I'm sitting here staring at all the other things that need to be done. LO is at MIL's house this week so I can work in peace and I'm still barely working. Then I feel guilty about the whole situation. Whatever.

    I clean on Saturdays when DH is home and Emily naps so he has no excuse not to help. Or we take turns entertaining or feeding her while the other does something. Although laundry is 100% my job since I do a load of her stuff every other day. 

    I wish I had time to work out like you do. Are you just not sleeping at all? When do you fit it all in?

  • imagealigator423uf:
    imageiheartcutepuppies:

    imageFive_letter:
    Working from home (with working being the key word here) with a baby in the house is absolutely impossible and a pipe dream for people like you and I.

    Totally.

    And I wouldn't mind if he cleaned more. He is good at it when he DOES it. Don't get me started on how he makes the bed... 

    Ugh, this has been so very hard. Especially when I'm sitting here staring at all the other things that need to be done. LO is at MIL's house this week so I can work in peace and I'm still barely working. Then I feel guilty about the whole situation. Whatever.

    I clean on Saturdays when DH is home and Emily naps so he has no excuse not to help. Or we take turns entertaining or feeding her while the other does something. Although laundry is 100% my job since I do a load of her stuff every other day. 

    I wish I had time to work out like you do. Are you just not sleeping at all? When do you fit it all in?

    I've been waking up at 5:45 ish on the nights when either H does the early morning (4 am) feeding or A sleeps- or if she is up at 5, I'll just wake up then, feed her, leave. Lately workouts have sucked because I have an hour and I am at a weight plateau which is making me want to punch things. 

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  • imageVikki2pay:
    imageiheartcutepuppies:
    imagealyssa44:

    I couldn't imagine working from home, plus taking care of Robert.  I can barely take care of him, clean up the house and make dinner.  Most of the time DH takes care of dinner or at minimum helps with prepping.

    Have you considered hiring a cleaning person?  I think having two working parents, it is sometimes a need for your sanity.

    We do actually, every other week. They do not however do our laundry, babes laundry, etc.

    It's the every day stuff. 

     

    I was thinking the same thing, we all may have to come up and have a husband intervention.

    Love this idea.  However, I feel like it won't work, lol!

    image

    PCOS and Endo

    Ovarian drilling and endo removed 1/3/12
    BFP - 3/27/12
    Beta's 11, 14, 57, 637, 2800
    Sono showed no baby and teeny tiny sac. Waiting to M/C naturally.

  • My type-A-ness doesn't stop me from wanting E to do stuff; at heart I'm also lazy so I'd love him to do it.  When he does I always thank him, hoping that will encourage him to do more.

    At least we finally worked out the dish thing.  I hate washing, including loading the dishwasher, he hates drying/putting away.  So we've finally got a system where he loads the diswasher or handwashes stuff that can't go in, and when it's done I put it away.  I actually made a "dirty/clean" magnet for the damned dishwasher so we'd know - otherwise, communication was sorely lacking on that score and dishes would sit forever.

    But what is it with guys & laundry?  He'll move from washer to dryer... and never bring it up.  WTF?  Better yet, I went down there and saw the laundry that had been in the dryer is now on top of the dryer.  So I'm thinking he was doing laundry & needed the dryer for a load from the washer & forgot to bring down the basket.  Nope.  No laundry in the washer or dryer.  Empty dryer.  Just put the laundry on top.  WHY?!

  • I say you worry about yours & Ava's laundry.  Leave DH to fend for himself:)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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