Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Would you be bothered?
I have this very good friend here that is an IN too from Japan. STBX and her husband are also very good friends.
Anyway, I hadn't heard from her for over a month. I didn't see her online too. I found this quite strange so I emailed her. Never got a reply. I called several times and she never answered her phone nor did she text something like "I saw you called, sorry I missed it bla bla bla". It's like she was dead. I called her husband too since I remember she said she was going on vacation. Same thing. Never got an answer.
My gut feeling was telling me something was not right. I finally heard from her last week. She sent this quick email saying she was too busy and she'd catch with me later. OK, she is not dead and she IS avoiding me. Anyway, I chat with her real quick one day. She then sends an email. But I still can feel something is not right. So finally, I asked her if everything was alright because I could tell something was off. And yesterday in a chat converstion she tells me she is 12 weeks pregnant.
I was happy for her. But is this why she has been avoiding me for more than a month? Not returning calls and emails? It bothers me. I know you might think she didn't want to tell me this piece of info because I am going though a divorce but still. I never mentioned to her ever that I wanted kids or I had baby fever. It really bothers me that she acted like she was dead because of this. When I get a chance to see her face to face, I am going to bring this up.
Re: Would you be bothered?
This ^ . Also, speaking from experience right now. I avoided a lot of people for a while and didn't feel like doing anything, and still do now that we've told people. Physically I'm just exhausted and can't handle a lot these days.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
My Blog
A friend of mine is just recently pregnant and I sent a few emails that went unanswered. Then I thought something must be wrong. I sent one asking if she was okay. She finally wrote me back and said she sits at her desk all day long and the last thing she wanted to do after a long day was sit her computer at home. Plus, she was soooooo tired from the pregnancy. I had forgot how tired I was in those first few weeks.
I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is probably exhausted, excited but nervous, and didn't want to tell anyone until well enough along and they had the chance to tell their parents. The parents was really dificult from a distance. DH was underway (gone for work) a lot. I was exhausted. We knew better than to call one side of the family one day and the other side the next day. No way could our moms keep their mouths shut. As it was they gave us about a five second head start calling anyone else. We told them at 11 weeks.
I didn't get morning sickness, but goodness, if your friend has then she probably has nothing left to give at the moment. First pregnancy I required 12 hours of sleep at night just to have the energy to be awake on the couch during the day. This pregnancy it's not as bad but for a while I still needed at least 10 hours of sleep to function. Not sure what I would feel like if sickness kept me from sleeping or took so much energy when I was awake.
For how far pregnant she is I don't think it's related to your divorce. I think she's exhausted and overwhelmed.
The would totally bother me. Actually, I have a friend doing the exact same thing. Last year she got engaged and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I said yes. Then at my wedding over the winter, she said they were changing the date of the wedding and pushing it back.
Since then I didn't hear a word. I wrote to her a couple times and she never replied back. I even said not to worry if they decided to have a small wedding because I almost certainly wouldn't be able to make a wedding in September. Now this week, some pictures of her wedding popped up. I wrote again to say congrats. She never replied.
I'm sure the pps have a point, your friend might just be exhausted and distracted. But I sometimes people just don't know how to deal with confrontation, even when it's only imagined in their heads.
I hope you're able to mend things with your friend soon. These kind of occasions should be fun and exciting, not something to hide!
Yup. I think all my friends are probably wondering what happened to me, I just can't do anything - it's taking everything I have to go to work every day (and I'm failing at that also). I'm sure you know your friend best, but I would see how it goes over the next couple weeks before thinking she was avoiding you.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
I actually avoided a lot of people my first 12 weeks, too. Mostly because I didn't want to tell anyone in case something went wrong (since that's when things are most likely to go wrong) and I didn't want to lie to people. It was what I was thinking about all the time, so it was a difficult time for me.
This makes sense. Let her know this part. You were worried about your friend.