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Vent: My Brother -- UPDATED
I swear to God, my brother just doesn't think sometimes. My brother is in the airforce, and this weekend, surprised my parent by coming home.
I called to say hi and speak with him. So I asked him how wedding planning was coming. They are scheduled to get married next 1st September, but he might get deployed and last I knew they might get married prior in December or so.
Mrs DRJ: How is wedding planning coming along?
Brother: Oh, good. We want to get married in October.
Mrs DRJ: Oh, really. When were you going to say something?
Brother: Oh, well we don't know when yet.
Mrs DRJ: Okay, I understand. Can you drop us an email with details when you know? Do you have our email address?
Brother: I am going to be very busy.
Mrs DRJ: We are your family. Do you even want us at your wedding? You can find two minutes to drop us a two minute email with details.
And we are going to Jordan/Israel at the end of October. We could cancel, but would lose most of it, I think. I've purchased the airline tickets and we've paid half the ticket price for the tour.
October is also an extremely busy month at work. I get that he is in the military, but drop us an email. I swear. He posted on facebook that he was engaged, before he told my parents -- that did not go over well. He will be 26 at the end of the month, and he is a young 26 in my opinion.
Sigh, we'll do whatever we need to, but I swear. This is going to be difficult, I can already see it. We have money for emergencies that we might have to tap into, but agh! It is like he forgets that we live in a different country.
UPDATE:
Okay, I've been thinking about this and all your comments -- thank you.
I have a ton of holiday time left, DH does not. I have a much more flexible position. As long as the wedding is not when we are on holiday (20 - 27), I would be able to attend. Paying for one plane ticket is also a lot easier than paying for two. And I might even be able to use miles.
I think that might be the best solution. It would stink that DH would not be able to attend, but he is coming home at Christmas. And we would both go to the reception next year. Or if we, hopefully, have a baby that is very very young and unable to travel it is not the end of the world.
Does that sound like a good plan moving forward?
Re: Vent: My Brother -- UPDATED
What was his response when you asked if he wanted you there?
I would be frustrated too, but I would not cancel my plans to enable this sort of behavior.
I don't think he is trying to be immature. I just talked to my mom. He really doesn't know yet, but hope to know this week. My brother is a definition of 'a man of few words.' It is like pulling teeth to get anything out of him. He has been like this for as long as I can remember.
I told him and my mom our holiday dates. My mom said they understand if we can't make it and apparently they are going to still have a reception on the 1st September next year. The reason they are moving up the wedding is he will get an extra $2,000 per month if he is deployed and married. And they want the money. I agree it is a good financial decision based on the whole situation and I do believe they are getting married for the right reasons.
My mom said the understand if we can't make it. And as much as I cringe, this is why we have an emergency fund. So we can afford to go home, the bigger issue is our lack of holiday time. DH is completely out of time due to us going home at Christmas.
Now I need to also decide if we are going to stop TTC so we can still go to the September wedding. That is for another post.
Agh! I wish we were close and could just pop on a plane and be there in less than 12 hours.
He said, yes he wanted us there. I honestly don't think he fully appreciates for his plans impact other peoples. He is the youngest, has always lived at home, etc. He has never had to travel to other people's events, etc. I just don't think he fully gets it.
Ugh. He sounds remarkably like my BIL, so you have my sympathies.
I agree with Pineapples - I don't knwo that I would cancel plans to go, it shows him that he can get away with it. That said, it's his wedding... It's frustrating. It's fair enough them getting married at short notice, but honestly, they can plan a few weeks in advance, and let you know asap, so you at least can come.
As for TTC and the reception, if you go to this, I wouldn't plan TTC around the reception. You'd have been there for the wedding, and IF things work out that you can't go in September, then so be it, everyoen would understand. But you may have a baby before then, and can travel, or not be far enough along for it to matter...
Ditto - sounds good!
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks