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BR: I feel like I'm loosing my mind!! Again!!
So my period didn't start on the day it was supposed to. Got my hopes up again, tested and negative. I wake up this morning and there she is, just a little bit late.
I swear I feel like I am loosing my freaking mind!!!!! I think maybe my "confession' the other day is just what I'm telling myself to make myself feel better. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'd really be fine if I didn't have kids and then some days like today it's totally different. As of today I want to to be pregnant so bad. Then when it gets close to test time I feel like I'll be fine if it's negative and I am until AF actually starts and then I get so disappointed.
I don't even know why I'm writing this since yall already know all of it, but I'm just annoyed and needed to vent I guess.
Gaaahhhhhh!!!! Thanks for listening. Again.
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Re: BR: I feel like I'm loosing my mind!! Again!!
I definitely had those emotions when we were trying for K. Imagining myself as a mom was so impossible. Plus being able to go out and do whatever we wanted was nice.
It is hard not to get your hopes up, so you try and tell yourself that you'll be OK if the test is negative.
Guys just don't get how overwhelming and consuming TTC can be. Feel free to post all you want.
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I can only imagine how hard it is for you! No worries about venting. Definitely better than holding it in! Sending vibes your way.
i totally know what you mean and fwiw, i think it is a defense mechanism coupled with the scary-ness of such a huge change. i feel like my life wouldn't be complete if i didn't experience having kids but shiit i'm 38 and kind of like a quiet house, sleeping, etc. i also can't even keep up with the house keeping and work now, so yikes how's it going to work with a kid?
it's definitely something i think has it's good and bad points but the good far outweighs the bad from what i'm told. but man when you see how impacted people's lives are, sometimes it's like, hmmm... would not having them be so bad?
well anyway i guess i just went off on a tangent about myself haha! but i think it's easy to go over to the not having them side to make us feel better just in case it doesn't happen.
I really feel like it would be way harder without you guys. I'm serious - you make me feel better just by being there!
The OB hasn't said anything since I haven't brought it up. I usually just get pap's from the nurse practitioner. She's awesome so I'll probably say something to her when I go this time and will probably schedule an appt to see the OB herself in a few months.
I guess it's just extra frustrating b/c the first time I got pg SO easy - the 2nd cycle off bc. Then with the miscarriage, surgery, then the cycles not starting I was getting worn down. Then when I started being regular I figured that it was going to be a breeze. I'm not 1 year from that point (although we didn't start really "trying" again until last Dec.).
I don't know why I thought it would be easy again, but it's not!