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Birth Control Advice
Hey everyone,
I am getting married in 2 months and need some advice. I am currently a virgin so I have never had to think about birth control before. I have an appt. with my gyno set up in a week to talk about my options, but I wanted to know what some women who currently use birth control think of their methods? I am awful about remembering to take my vitamins, so I am worried the pill would not be a good choice. I cannot risk getting preggers due to some health issues I have that my gyno is aware of (deformed uterus), so I need something reliable. I know that not having sex is the only 100% way of not getting pregs, but helllo, I am getting married! LOL.
Also, on a side note, any good ideas how to relax for my wedding night? Like I said, I am a virgin, so I have some nerves when I think about it. I know my husband to be will make sure I am not uncomfortable and all, but I still am nervous!
Re: Birth Control Advice
If you aren't good at taking your vitamins everyday then the pill isn't a good idea. I would recommend the shot. It's just as effective and you only have to get it every 3 months. When I was on it I didn't have a period.
The only issue I had with the shot was the weight gain. Every woman is different. Some gain 5 lbs. some gain 50lbs.
BFP 2/10/2012!
Due Date: 10/15/2012!
Baby Boy Born 10/11/12! (Not on purpose)
I just got married this spring, and was also a virgin until our wedding night. I started on the pill about 6 months in advance (to play it super safe :] ) and ended up reacting HORRIBLY. My gyno said I would likely respond that way with all hormonal options, so I wouldn't go for the shot right away until you know how you'll adjust to hormone contraceptives. You can take out the ring and take off the patch, but you're stuck with the shot for 3 months and you don't want to be going crazy during your wedding and honeymoon..
As for the relaxing part, my best advice is to just accept that it will be awkward and uncomfortable. Don't go into it expecting it to be amazing. Yes, it's painful. Yes, it's kind of weird at first. I promise it gets better. And for a little tmi, 2 key things to do; bring lube. It helps the pain. And PEE AFTER. No one told me that, so I ended up with a UTI on our honeymoon.
Good luck!
This is not true. The Pill/NuvaRing is effective within the first week of use--if you do a Sunday start. They are generally effective from the first day of use if you start on the first day of your period.The recommendation to use backup birth control for the first month is out of abundance of caution, but the literature included with the medication indicate that full protection against pregnancy is achieved after seven days at the latest (if used correctly).
Married Bio
BFP Chart
I have no idea if you're married yet, or not. But I have to recommend the book "intended for pleasure" by Ed and Gaye Wheat. I was a virgin when I got married too (and so was my husband) and this book helped us to at least get through it, lol (it was pretty painful for me and would have been worse if he had not known what to do). Also, you need to do a lot of communicating. I've only been married 4 months and my husband and I almost killed each other the first 2, lol. If expectations aren't met on the honeymoon it can cause a lot of hurt feelings and fighting. So TALK about everything. Even if your honeymoon is over now. No honeymoon is perfect. Trust me. Everyone is lying when they act like things come easy and it's all roses and sunshine. (But there is hope at the end of the tunnel.
)
As for birth control, I promised my mom years ago that I would not take the pill. I am very against pharmaceuticals because they alter the way your body functions naturally! We just use condoms. We were extremely careful the first month of our marriage and have since gotten lax (even though we aren't planning on kids for another 2 years). I have a friends who do the natural planning thing, which made me feel comfortable branching out more. I try to keep track of my cycle and make sure I don't do anything stupid, but these days we mostly use the "pull out method." I know everyone is going to think I'm crazy, but if your husband is very aware of his body and very controlled, this really isn't that dangerous. Also inserting spermicide first is a good precautionary measure.
I use a lower hormone pill which I mostly like. I started about two months before we got married and thus far it has been working.
Sometimes its hard to remember but if you set an alarm on your phone you should be ok.
I was a virgin on our wedding night and I was a lot more nervous than I had anticipated. Do make sure that you or your future H brings lube. Try to relax and make it comfortable. The first time will be awkward but the next time will be less so. The second time, the morning after our wedding, was a lot better than our first.
Anyway, you can be fitted for a diaphram or use spermicide. There are TONS of different kinds at the drug store. The diaphram is ok but a little more messy than other things (yet more effective).
As far as not being nervous, talk to your FI about how you feel. Talk to him about the possibility of just "petting" at first and building to penetration when you're comfortable. Maybe offer to "help" him though so it's not a total loss for him.
Also there are ways to stretch out your vagina before so it's easier and less painful when you have sex. I didn't do this and he couldn't even get it in til the 4th day of our honeymoon...
Anyway, hope this helps.
If you're not ready for kids and you won't use anything with hormones, please please please use some other form of birth control. He cannot control pre-***, which does contain sperm. It only takes one to fertilize the egg, and while the odds may be low, you do have to consider Murphy's Law.
By the way, do you masturbate? If not, start now so you can let him know what feels good to you.