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Money aside, other considerations for having kids
So it makes sense to start thinking about how much it will cost to have a baby and what insurance will or will not cover... But before you decide to TTC, does anyone give any thought to whether it makes sense from a genetic point of view? For instance, say DH has severe dental problems, like his teeth basically disintegrated by the time he was in college, and he inherited this problem from his dad who went through the same thing. Odds are, you are facing major dental bills to help your kid replace all of his/her teeth. Is that reason enough not to have kids of your own? Maybe not, but what if there's a laundry list of other issues? Would anything make you re-consider having children of your own based on genetics or traits that you see in your spouse or yourself?
Re: Money aside, other considerations for having kids
I think there certainly would be a consideration for me, depending on what the condition was. If it was something that would severely hinder a potential child's quality of life, then I would probably pursue the adoption route. But if it was just an inconvenience or something costly, but that otherwise wouldn't be a huge issue in the child's overall life (i.e. high dental bills), then I don't think that would bother me so much.
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We laugh about any potential future children, what with my half-blindness and crooked teeth, and H's ADHD and oily skin. We both have tons of hair. The kid will be doomed, most likely, from a physical standpoint.
However, we are both intelligent people, and we have decided that more smart people should bear offspring, you know, for the sake of the human race lol.
Dental visits and doctor bills will be paid, whatever the child needs. My parents both had/have horrible teeth and my sister and I, after braces, are just fine. Things like this aren't even a consideration.
I do have fears of having a child with special needs or illness and the burden that would bring. Specifically, H's cousin has a child with cerebral palsy and it scares the sh*t out of me that we could have a child with a similar condition (not speaking genetically, just randomly). I'm in no way saying that I would not adapt and love my child like nothing else, but that would change my life in a way that a healthy baby would not.
I just re-read the post realized I'm not exactly addressing your question, but I'm still putting this out there.
Both DH and I have relatives with Tourette's/tic disorders. Did that make me rethink TTC? No, but I will worry if we have a boy, because they're statistically more prone to inherit that. Of course, all our relatives are totally functional and their daily lives are not impacted by the disorder, either, so that may change my perception.
There are certain genetic conditions that would make me seriously reconsider biological children, but as it's 6 p.m. and my brain is fried, I can't think of specific names.
I figure, we've all got mental health issues and less than ideal genetics somewhere in the line.
Ita x 2.
DH and I have gone through genetic testing. Our plan from the start was if I had the gene DH would be snipped and we would adopt. I didn't have it so it worked out but if I did I wouldn't bring a child in this world only to lose them 12 years later. Not a good quality of life!
We have a couple of issues in our genes but honestly it didn't phase us. My daughter and any daughters we have will have either a 50/50 shot or 100% recurrence of a genetic disease DH has(there are two types and we don't know for sure which on DH has at this point). Any future sons will either have the same 50/50 shot or no chance of having the disease.
DH's grandfather has said disease and he is 84 and while he does have some signs and symptoms he has lived a normal and fulfilling life.
Now, if it was something that would cause my child(ren) lifelong pain that would be a different story.