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Sister is marrying a d-bag: VENT

My sister is marrying her first boyfriend. He converted to Catholicism for her, denounces drinking, makes snarky comments about DH and I not having kids yet, DOESN'T have a JOB, and his parents pay for EVERYTHING (rent, car, school). On top of all this, he acts like he is better than everyone else. He has no friends, and get "sad" when my sister goes out without him (which is hardly ever).

They are geting married in 5 months and just got into a HUGE fight about him not having a job,  not applying for the military (like he has been saying he will do for 1.5 years), and his parents paying for everything.

The OTHER issue is my mother. She keeps acting like this guy is the greatest thing ever! she says they are so compatable, and they are "working things out".

 

I know I can't really "do" anything, but i just wanted to vent.

 

Re: Sister is marrying a d-bag: VENT

  • Ugh, I can understand your frustration. 

    My sister dated a raging alcoholic her senior year in college that treated her like complete crap and my mom kept saying how she was so happy that my sister was having sex. I actually saw this guy at a pub crawl with another woman, but knew that me getting involved wouldn't help anything. 

    Out of curiosity, are you and your sister close?  

     

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • This has to be so frustrating.  I am sorry you are dealing with this!
  • imagefl4lovers:

    He converted to Catholicism for her, denounces drinking,

    He's doing it wrong.

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • imagezitiqueen:
    imagefl4lovers:

    He converted to Catholicism for her, denounces drinking,

    He's doing it wrong.

     

    lol, really! We drink life fish. I'm pretty sure its part of the RCIA classes ;)

  • vent away, just do not get involved. If she ever asks anything about your feelings, keep it clean and simple and let it go. You will end up the bad guy if you do not.

    I can not begin to explain your mothers thoughts. Is she desperate for your sister? Does his family have a lot of money?

    What has happened since the fight?



  • imagezitiqueen:
    imagefl4lovers:

    He converted to Catholicism for her, denounces drinking,

    He's doing it wrong.

    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha

  • My twin sister married a man (her first and only BF) not quite as bad as your soon to be BIL, but she's always low on his list of priorities and it pisses me off. I told her when we were 17 or 18 (they dated for 9.5 years before they married), that she could do better and all my reasons. Then I never mentioned it again. To be fair, she asked me my opinion on her relationship with my now BIL so I wasn't sticking my nose where it didn't belong. Stick out tongue

    It's really frustrating and I worry about her happiness a lot.

  • imagefl4lovers:

    They are geting married in 5 months and just got into a HUGE fight about him not having a job,  not applying for the military (like he has been saying he will do for 1.5 years), and his parents paying for everything.

    The OTHER issue is my mother. She keeps acting like this guy is the greatest thing ever! she says they are so compatable, and they are "working things out".

    Did anyone ever tell your mom, that at this stage in their relationship, things should be easy - they shouldn't be "working things out?"

    LOL - if he starts riding you on the children issue, tell him you'll have a kid after he gets a job, and from the looks of it, that won't be anytime soon!

  • I am very sorry you are going through this. Does your sister see anything wrong with him or does she too think he is great?

    I only ask because I vented to my own sister about my relationship and they tried to be positive and everything. As things went on, they agreed completely that ending it was best.

    Where does your sister stand in all of this?

  • My sister married a d-bag, it is so bad that her first two children, not his, told her they do not want to live with her anymore, my DH (THANK GOD FOR HIM BLESS HIS HEART) and I are raising her 12 year old and 4 year old.

    Last night I saw some girl posted on his Facebook page about him being the love of her life etc. She has a bunch of pictures of him, my nephew, and my brand new nephew that is maybe 5 weeks old, all his children. They live in a homeless shelter because every where they move to he does not know how to act and gets them kicked out or evicted.

    She says she happy, not sure how you can be happy and not have your own children who want nothing to do with you because you move from place to place and you choose some man over them. All you can do is let people do them, I am just blessed she signed over her rights to the oldest two, at least they can have a some what "normal" life. I say nothing about her decision just smile and keep going.

  • imageJNL$LSM:

    My sister married a d-bag, it is so bad that her first two children, not his, told her they do not want to live with her anymore, my DH (THANK GOD FOR HIM BLESS HIS HEART) and I are raising her 12 year old and 4 year old.

    Last night I saw some girl posted on his Facebook page about him being the love of her life etc. She has a bunch of pictures of him, my nephew, and my brand new nephew that is maybe 5 weeks old, all his children. They live in a homeless shelter because every where they move to he does not know how to act and gets them kicked out or evicted.

    She says she happy, not sure how you can be happy and not have your own children who want nothing to do with you because you move from place to place and you choose some man over them. All you can do is let people do them, I am just blessed she signed over her rights to the oldest two, at least they can have a some what "normal" life. I say nothing about her decision just smile and keep going.

     

     

    You win the d-bag BIL prize hands down.. I thought my d-bag BIL of 30 YEARS (GAH!!!) was bad. My sympathies.

  • I found this on TIP, so you could post this on your FB, jk.
  • I love that TIP it is great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That sounds like my sister H, he does not work, broke, lazy, disrespectful, and overall but hole. However, she signed those papers and loves him dearly. Ick! She is 29 and he is 22, so you can only imagine.
  • imageMaryWithoutSound:
    imagezitiqueen:
    imagefl4lovers:

    He converted to Catholicism for her, denounces drinking,

    He's doing it wrong.

    Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha

    Yep!!!!  He sure is.

    As for your mom, I think she's just desperate to have your sister married off that she doesn't care to whom.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I thought Catholics liked to drink?  There is still 5 months.  She might come to realize why they broke up in the first place.  If not maybe he will chill out and grow up.  Cheers to hoping! :-)
  • Since the fight I have spoken to my mom. Haven't brought up my sister and fiance.....

    I agree with the whole "he's Catholic and denounces drinking" being so funny! Being Catholic means you get to drink at church!

    I was talking with my friend, and she said they shouldn't be having these issues now....it should be esy at this point.....

    They ahve always had some "issue" and have had to "talk" about things. I still don't get why my mom is so into him.

  • Oy, I hear you.  My brother is marrying a shrew.  He's 36 and she's, like, 24? but she acts like she's still 16.  They're always fighting when we go over there, and she treats my brother's 10-year-old son from a previous relationship like total crap - shows no love at all.  She called me a "***" and stormed out last Christmas (this was the start of a conversation! so I hadn't even done anything yet), and she's constantly telling my mother that she's a "f**king *** who needs to get the f**k out" of her son's life.  And then she cries and complains that none of us like her (and no one in my family is mean to her, we just kind of avoid her whenever possible because usually all she does is call us nasty names and then storm out whenever we come over!).

    Ugh, love is blind, and my brother's an idiot.  But it's his life, so what can I do?  I'll be around to pick up the pieces after they divorce.

  • I am really sorry to hear this, being the elder sister, i also can understand what you are going through. I am sure that your sister would surely learn from this later on. I have realized that there is only some level till which one can guide someone. After that, they are all on their own. A person learns more than their own mistakes than others.
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