Family Matters
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Too many weddings!
Apparently I've reached that age where everyone around me is getting married. We have 3 weddings this year. 1 down, 2 more to go. We had/have to travel for all 3. Needless to say, it's getting quite expensive. 2012 will be worse. My mom is getting remarried. She is talking about Valentine's weekend in San Diego (where her FI is from) but no definite plans yet. One of my HS friends just sent out save the dates for May 19, 2012. No traveling for this one thank GOD! My best friend got engaged 2 months ago. No definite plans yet but she's thinking a destination wedding in St. Lucia. I just feel completely overwhelmed. I know people decline wedding invites all the time but I am close with all of these people and they are all people I'd want at my wedding. Anyone who has declined a wedding invite, where did you draw the line? Was the couple upset? WWYD in my situation?
Re: Too many weddings!
We draw the line at destination weddings....unless it's close family (brothers/sisters/parents....cousins/friends is too far removed).
I would make my decision whether the couple would really miss me if I wasn't there (are you being invited because you spend a lot of time together, or is it more of a "courtesy invite").
I would also consider who else would be there that I knew. It's one thing to travel to a wedding and be surrounded by my other friends, but it's another thing when I'll only be talking to MH all night. Not that I mind MH, lol, but we can do that at home on our couch.
you dont have to accept every invitation but if you do work it into your budget. i would absolutely go to a wedding in st lucia and make a vacay out of it at the same time-go a few days earlier than the wedding. it really all depends what's in the budget.
We had people we were close to not come to our wedding. Sure, we missed them, but there were plenty of other people there to talk to and focus on. It didn't affect the wedding at all.
I've declined invitations before too - largely due to travel/budget issues. As I understood when people could'nt come to our wedding, I assume that people understand when I can't come to theirs.
And anyone who plans a destination wedding, they HAVE to do so knowing and understanding that even some of their close friends and family may not be able to go.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Last year my fiances mom, sister, and brother all got married, in addition to two of my friends, and we are now in debt because of it! But honestly, it was worth it. Ask yourself "am I going to regret not being there", if the answer is yes, then figure it out!
I should also say, we declined two invitations from friends, no regrets, and I think they completely understood.
My Dh and I have been to 30 weddings together, ours was our 25th wedding as a couple. We usually avereaged 4-6 a year. This year was the first year we didn't have ANY!
I would say just plan ahead and know your limits.
I also have 3 this year, had 4 last year, and 2 for next year already. It's just that time in our lives, isn't it?
I have declined some, mostly people who I wasn't extremely close to and didn't foresee becoming close to in the near future. Some people I am really close to didn't make it to our wedding and it didn't bother me that much. They told me why they couldn't make it, and I moved on. In fact, DH and I went to three couples weddings out of state who were invited, but didn't make it to our wedding. I guess we don't hold too many grudges. Other people shouldn't hold grudges over it either. I am still nice and send a gift when we don't go to the wedding.
We went to St. Lucia for our Honeymoon and it was an interesting place. I won't be going back, but it wasn't bad. Don't feel horrible if you don't make it to that one.
Most people understand. If they don't, they are bride/groom-zillas.
As of now, we have 7 weddings next year....6 we have to travel to. Unfortunately, 4 are very close family. We are going to those 4, plus the local one. We are turning down 2 friends. We just can't afford to travel for 6 weddings.
No destination weddings for us. I just disagree with the whole concept. I blame it on work.
Dec '09 Laparotomy & laparoscopy for large cyst & HSG all clear
August '10-June '11 TTA for hip surgeries
Cycle #23...Dx: MFI, low p4
2 rounds of Clomid (50 mg) = BFNs...October SIS & 2nd HSG all clear
Plan after saving: repeat s/a + Clomid + Novarel + IUI
8 months isn't that early if your guest list is mostly OOT.