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Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Another FB question....am I being cheated on?

Can you end up having someone on your list of friends on FB that you haven't "befriended"?? How would they make it in there? By a "virus"? I noticed a woman on hubby's page and when I asked about her (she was half dressed!) and who she was, he had no idea or how she got in there. If he had anything to hide, why would he want to have her among his list of "friends" so even I can see? But how does a stranger get on your list of friends??? Has never happened to me, has it to you? Can I contact FB to find out if this CAN happen?

Re: Another FB question....am I being cheated on?

  • To my knowledge, a stranger can't get on your list of friends without your knowledge.  However, he could still be telling the truth.  Some people aren't very picky about accepting friend requests from strangers, or think they must know that person.  It could be a girl he used to know, but she changed her name or is posting under a fake name on FB.  It could even be that one of his friends' accounts got hacked.  No one can tell you if your husband is lying to you; it's possible he is telling the truth, and it's possible he's not.  Talk to him and decide whether or not you believe him.
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  • imageLauraT25:
    It could even be that one of his friends' accounts got hacked. 

     

    They can only be friends if your H requested her friendship or she requested him. Either way, one of them accepted the request.

     

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  • Does he play a lot of games on FB and friend anyone who plays the game?  My DH does this and he didn't know a lot of his "friends" at one point.
  • No, he doesn't play any kind of games. When I checked his brothers firends on FB I noticed that this girl was on his list too. That leaves the "virus" out, doesn't it?

    I guess i will have to confront him but not something I want to do.

  • It's possible that she was just friends with his brother and she friend requested him randomly. Some people like to build big friend lists. I have friends of friends send me requests, and I don't always know who they are. I often figure they're people I knew back home but don't remember anymore. He could have seen that she was friends with his brother and accepted the request thinking he'd figure out how he knows her later.

    Also, regarding the half-nakedness... She probably had a normal profile pic when he accepted the request and changed it later.

    Honestly, unless you have other reasons to suspect him, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's not like your husband's mistress is going to be FB friends with his brother (unless they already knew each other).

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  • imageblueshirt2003:

    imageLauraT25:
    It could even be that one of his friends' accounts got hacked. 

     

    They can only be friends if your H requested her friendship or she requested him. Either way, one of them accepted the request.

     

    Right, but one of my friends got hacked and his picture AND his name were changed, so it looked like I was friends with a different person.

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  • imageGilliC:

    It's possible that she was just friends with his brother and she friend requested him randomly. Some people like to build big friend lists. I have friends of friends send me requests, and I don't always know who they are. I often figure they're people I knew back home but don't remember anymore. He could have seen that she was friends with his brother and accepted the request thinking he'd figure out how he knows her later.

    Also, regarding the half-nakedness... She probably had a normal profile pic when he accepted the request and changed it later.

    Honestly, unless you have other reasons to suspect him, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It's not like your husband's mistress is going to be FB friends with his brother (unless they already knew each other).

    ITA with all of this. 

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  • Thanks for the explanation. It's funny because an old friend of his called and as they were catching up over the phone, he asked him if he was on FB. So when they "befriended" each other, he could see this girls picture among his friends just like I did. His reaction was just like mine, like WHO is that? I heard hubby say that he had no idea and after that conversation he took her off his page infront of me. Just like you said here, if it was to be more, would he really have her on FB?!
  • But another question I have is: When you're friends with someone on FB you can always go in on their page to see their photos and comments from people. How come if you're friends with this person that you can't see their page?. All you see is their profile and friends, just like before when you weren't friends. Have they made sure that no one else than them are able to see their page and is he the only one that can "unblock" it???
  • yes, you  are being cheated on and his brother is doing to her too. They  are having 3 somes together. how heck would we know if your  husband is cheating on you with  someone from facebook?

    Second,  the account owner controls who  sees what. you are not  the owner of said site then you are not  entitled  to see anything.  do you  not know how  to  use facebook?

  • Either he requested to be friends with her and she accepted or she requested to be friends with him and he accepted.  

    Are you sure she is in the friends list and not the "people you might know" list? 

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    "They say with time it gets better. Not true. With time you only get used to it."
  • I too see many strangers that I don?t know. Incidentally I later realized what is happening. I had this friend Stacy whom I had added about 8 months back. To my surprise I got a friend request recently, when I asked her about it, she said that her facebook id has been hacked and someone is uploading indecent pictures of girls. She had already reported abuse to the id and was awaiting response from facebook. Since there are many members worldwide, banning members etc takes almost 2 months. It was only after 2 months that the id was removed.
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