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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I am feeling very weepy for my kid
She told me that on most days she plays alone at recess. She says that some of the girls that she was "friends" with in kindergarten last year are excluding her from their games. It sounds like there is one girl in particular who is the leader, and the others just follow suit. Individually, they will play with her, but not in a group setting. My heart is broken for her. Thank god no one is picking on her or anything because that would make me homicidal. We're only 3 weeks into the school year and I know she will make actual friends (because clearly these are not her friends), and I am proud of her for not following the herd but damn. Just damn. She says that it doesn't hurt her feelings or anything but I remember being excluded when I was little and it ruined school for me. Kids suck. 
Re: I am feeling very weepy for my kid
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Oh, I feel so bad for MiniMags! She is such a sweet little girl and she does not deserve that! I'm sure she will make friends soon! Who wouldn't want to be friends with her! I do have to say, that you have a great kid there Margie. For her to tell how you she feels says a lot about the person she is and the relationship you have with her.
I was that kid too, which may be why I'm so rattled by this. I mean, I know that kids are fickle. Kids who fight one day are besties the next so I did not insert too much of my opinion when we talked about it. She still considers these girls to be her friends so we'll just let it run its course. As much as I wanna be all "Mini, FUUUUUUUCK THEM LITTLE B!TCHES. I will RUIN them!" I know that's not helpful. Hopefully this will turn out to be a good lesson for her. Not everyone has to like everyone else, it's okay. That's life, even in first grade. She entertains herself and is happy and kind to other kids, so that's all that really matters.
Thanks you guys.
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poor kid. she sounds very mature about it!
i can't deal with the heartbreaking stuff. I see "that's life" even in the 4 yr old set.
She's so innocent. I feel like she doesn't even understand that what they're doing is mean. Is that crazy? She's the kind of kid who will see another kid sitting alone and ask if they're okay. She lets people have their bad days and space if they need it, and it seems to just roll off her back. I dunno. Maybe I'm worrying too much.
And now MH is throwing around the "they're just jealous" response. I'm going to choke the sh!t out of him if he dares to say that to her. They aren't, they're just asssholes. UGH.
Oh no. I already don't like 4 year olds. Don't give me yet another reason. LOL
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I have to agree with you Margie. I don't know how many times my Mom said this to me about kids leaving me out and how she still says it to me about things that I tell her that happen with co-workers and I hate it. It has nothing to do with jealousy. It has everything to do with being mean and inconsiderate. I hated it then and I hate it now and will never say it to Kevin. I was that kid who was always left out or made fun of and it really has made me very insecure and vulnerable as an adult. Mini seems to be much more resilent and you are a great mom for helping her get through this in a way that is going to benefit her down the road. I wish my mom had done that with me.
Poor Mini. I feel for her. I went through this all through my school career. People who pretended to be friendly suddenly stop speaking to you.
I agree about the whole jealousy thing. I don't like when parents instill that into their kids heads at all. I hear my stepdaughters do it and it makes me annoyed. It makes them conceited and therefore become the snobby ones not the other way around.
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You and I have a lot in common, cloey. I think that the whole jealousy thing can come into play when kids are older. Like you said, right now at the age of 5 and 6 they're just inconsiderate and a little mean. I think playing the whole "the other kids are jealous" card can definitely go wrong. I think in some cases (in my kid's case specifically) it can make the child think that she's the one to blame and that she's doing something wrong to provoke the other kids' responses. On the other end of the spectrum, you can lead a child to believe that they should never care what other people think of them, which in turn generates more mean behavior. This whole self-esteem building is exhausting and believe me, my kid has taught me just as much as I've taught her.
I've done everything I can so far to teach her how to care about other people, and to treat them the way she'd like to be treated. Like any other human being, I do want people to like me. But as an adult, I now know that if someone doesn't like me, that's on them- not me. Because I'm pretty freaking awesome and if you don't like me you are CLEARLY an assshole. And why would I care what an assshole thinks?
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this. you have done a spectacular job raising an incredible little lady.
I think you need to print this thread out and save it for when she's a teenager rolling her eyes at you. LOL
I do hope it all works out. She's an awesome kid and I know because of her awesome Mom, she will figure all of this out.
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