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non-clicky poll: family/social functions
Do you and H/W always attend family functions together?
Is there any circumstance that you would let him sit a holiday/family function out? Or where you wouldn't be required to go? (Think major family functions, holidays and such)
If your friends are getting together and they're mostly coupled up/marrried, is your SO expected to come?
Do you ever sit out or let him sit out?
Do you have an unspoken rule that you do things together? Or do you talk about these things??
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's family?
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's friends?

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Re: non-clicky poll: family/social functions
that's a lot of questions!
Do you and H/W always attend family functions together? yes
Is there any circumstance that you would let him sit a holiday/family function out? Or where you wouldn't be required to go? (Think major family functions, holidays and such) if he had a good reason (not just because he didn't feel like it)
If your friends are getting together and they're mostly coupled up/marrried, is your SO expected to come? no
Do you ever sit out or let him sit out? yes
Do you have an unspoken rule that you do things together? Or do you talk about these things?? I'm not sure, but we do plenty of things together and separately - I don't think being married = being conjoined twins - so I guess we have an 'unspoken agreement' that this is ok
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's family? he feels more comfortable with my family than I do his, but that's because mine are here and his are all in other states
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's friends? yeah, I think so
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Do you and H/W always attend family functions together? yes, except there was one where I was seriously sick so H went without me
Is there any circumstance that you would let him sit a holiday/family function out? Or where you wouldn't be required to go? (Think major family functions, holidays and such) being seriously sick...or needed to work
If your friends are getting together and they're mostly coupled up/marrried, is your SO expected to come? umm....I would want him to come..not sure it would be "Expected"
Do you ever sit out or let him sit out? to couples outings? ummm I think if someone sits out, then we both do.
Do you have an unspoken rule that you do things together? Or do you talk about these things?? we talk about it.
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's family? yep. we both love each other's families
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's friends? here and there. one of H's friends I had a problem with before....and I tend to have a hard time losing grudges....so it's still a little awkward for me....but I still see him from time to time. My H likes all my friends
Do you and H/W always attend family functions together?
Yes, ever since Thanksgiving 2007 (after we started living together)
Is there any circumstance that you would let him sit a holiday/family function out? Or where you wouldn't be required to go? (Think major family functions, holidays and such)
He usually works on Saturdays, and likes to work some holidays for the extra $$$. We have missed Thanksgivings because of this. But both of us miss family events then, so maybe that doesn't count. We wouldn't go to a family event alone. He's the only driver in the household, so if he can't go then I don't either.
We have to travel (via airplane) to go to any of his family events, so if I don't go he isn't likely to go either.
If your friends are getting together and they're mostly coupled up/marrried, is your SO expected to come?
I should note that most of my side and his side of friends all know each other or at least OF each other through college. So H has known my friends since 2003-2004, and same with me knowing his.
Yeah, but it isn't a big deal if he doesn't go with my friends group because I still have a couple single friends in my "main group."
On his friend side, EVERYONE is coupled up, but I don't always go to events, I miss out on about 1/6 of those events. He prefers that I come along, but he can go stag okay.
Do you ever sit out or let him sit out?
See above
I'm such an awesome wife, I even let him miss one of my friend's weddings, so he could go to a UW football game. That's an unspoken rule between us, we can't make the other miss a game.
Do you have an unspoken rule that you do things together? Or do you talk about these things??
Kinda, but we usually talk about each event first to determine if "we" (as a social unit) want to attend. If one of us doesn't then no biggie, usually. Overall we attend 60-70% of all events together.
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's family?
I think so, but we don't see either side that often (only Thanksgiving, X-Mas, and Weddings)
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's friends?
My side: H is comfortable, can't think of any reason he shouldn't be. As long as we don't talk about our periods or something.
His side: I get along great with the majority of his friends. I can usually find others to talk to/hang out with in order to avoid those I don't care for.
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Do you and H/W always attend family functions together? H will go to his family's things without me if I'm not home and vice versa. We never really attend each other's family functions without the other though (he doesn't go to my fam functions without me.) If we're both at home and able, then we'll go together.
Is there any circumstance that you would let him sit a holiday/family function out? Or where you wouldn't be required to go? (Think major family functions, holidays and such) If he had previous plans that couldn't be broken or if he wasn't in town. Same for me.
If your friends are getting together and they're mostly coupled up/marrried, is your SO expected to come? Not expected, but always invited
Do you ever sit out or let him sit out? Yep
Do you have an unspoken rule that you do things together? Or do you talk about these things?? Everything that we have going on is shared on the google calendar. We each consult the calendar to see if the other person is busy and if not then we ask each other if that person wants to go to x event. If that person is busy then it's assume that they won't go.
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's family? Yes
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's friends? Yes
YDo you and H/W always attend family functions together? No. I sometimes go to family dinners, etc. w/o DH.
Is there any circumstance that you would let him sit a holiday/family function out? Or where you wouldn't be required to go? (Think major family functions, holidays and such) If DH went to east coast and I stayed here. DH one year did refuse to go to a fam Christmas thing and I was super pissed. I think he was depressed/homesick and it was before we were married. He wouldn't get away with that again.
If your friends are getting together and they're mostly coupled up/marrried, is your SO expected to come? Yes, but he might whine about it. He's usually fine if there's alcohol involved. : )
Do you ever sit out or let him sit out? Yes.
Do you have an unspoken rule that you do things together? Or do you talk about these things?? We talk about it.
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's family? Yes. But, obv I feel more comfortable w/ mine and he w/ his and he sometimes hits a limit of how much time/how often he can be w/ my fam. There are a few exceptions in DH extended fam, but I can suck it up for a while w/ anyone.
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's friends? I think he feels comfortable w/ mine, but he doesn't want to hang out w/ them very often. I am not such a fan of his and he prefers me not to hang out w/ his friends, so we almost never do stuff together w/ his friends (although most of his are on the east coast and/or are just guys from work he grabs a beer with). Although you may remember that DH BF lived w/ us for 3 months...and no, it wasn't comfortable!
Do you and H/W always attend family functions together?
yes. 99% of the time....he only doesn't go if there's something else he absolutely *has* to do. i never *don't* go to his family functions (more than immediate fam) because his fam is OOT, and he never visits his fam w/o me....and if i was there..why wouldn't i go?
Is there any circumstance that you would let him sit a holiday/family function out? Or where you wouldn't be required to go? (Think major family functions, holidays and such)
nope. i have him go to the buddhist temple with me when we have certain family functions there, even though he's not buddhist. it's respectful to our deceased family, and that's a big deal in our culture.
If your friends are getting together and they're mostly coupled up/marrried, is your SO expected to come?
only if they're going as couples.
Do you ever sit out or let him sit out?
if other boys sit out, he can sit out. i never let him be the *only* boy to not go...but definitely don't make him go if he's one of few boys.
Do you have an unspoken rule that you do things together? Or do you talk about these things??
unspoken rule. sometimes it's discussed because we make fun of our connected-at-the-hip couple friends.
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's family?
yes, he's 100% comfortable around my family. i'm about 65% comfortable with his fam.
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's friends?
99% of our friends overlap. we have very few friends that we don't *share*...and those are only a matter of time, or it's because they're more coworkers than friends.
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Do you and H/W always attend family functions together?
Usually, but not always.
Is there any circumstance that you would let him sit a holiday/family function out? Or where you wouldn't be required to go? (Think major family functions, holidays and such)
Sure; it's happened for a variety of reasons in the past, and i'm sure will in the future.
If your friends are getting together and they're mostly coupled up/marrried, is your SO expected to come?
Depends on the activity
Do you ever sit out or let him sit out?
Do you have an unspoken rule that you do things together? Or do you talk about these things??
We talk about our plans.
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's family?
Yeah, we're both fine.
I'm not sure either of us feels comfortable around mine
Do you/your SO feel comfortable around eachother's friends?
Mostly. He has a couple friends i don't enjoy, and one i will avoid being around in a small group. I have a couple friends that are shy/slow to warm up and he doesn't know how to talk to them.
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