D.C. Area Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What is the etiquette in this situation?
DH and I were invited to a wedding, it's in St. Thomas (not a DW, they live there, rat bastards). Anyways. I think we were on the "B" list (rsvp is due in 3 weeks), not that I really care too much about that, but this is pretty much the first i've heard about the wedding, so it's pretty last minute, imo.
DH cannot get time off work this late in the game, and i'm not going on what will technically be a vacation without him, so we wont be going (not to mention it would be a pretty pricey last minute vacation).
Would you still send a gift?
FWIW this same girl tried throwing me under the bus at another friends wedding and we haven't really talked since.
Re: What is the etiquette in this situation?
Would you send a gift if this couple was getting married in a private ceremony and not inviting anyone? (Meaning, you really just want to celebrate their marriage.) If no, then they aren't that special to you and I wouldn't send a gift.
This is what I told DH. His response was "was that the same girl that blah blah blah at so and so's wedding? You should send her nothing and she'll like it!" lol
Ok, i'll probably just get her a gc and call it a day.
We make the rockin' world go 'round.
I kinda agree with DH in this situation - was she at your wedding or did she send a gift? If so, then I'd send a gift even if I weren't invited... if not, and you truly feel b-listed, AND she is clearly just a frenemy, I'd say no.
We invited as many people to our wedding in Mexico as we would have if our wedding was here, as we had gone to many of their weddings and didn't want them to feel left out. Those who we had been generous with a gift with reciprocated, but many didn't and we certainly didn't feel bad about it.
(As a matter of fact, even people who DID come didn't give gifts - which was fine with us since they spent so much to attend.)
Off to the beach
DS 7/18/2010
Handy 2.0 Due Early August
2011/2012 Races
12/17/2011 Christmas Caper 10K
2/11/2012 Have a Heart 5K
3/17/2012 DC RNR Half Marathon
4/22/2012 10M Parkway Classic
10/28/2012 Marine Corps Marathon
Given this information...no.
We were really good friends in HS (11 years ago)... and we haven't maintained the relationship at all.
The more and more I think about it seems kind of gift grabby. Eff her.
lol
We make the rockin' world go 'round.
Not to go all Miss Manners on the situation, but a wedding invitation (regardless of the the location, the amount of lead time or the quality of your relationship with the couple) is not a request for a gift. The person sending the invitation might think that, but it's not.
If you sincerely want to celebrate the person's wedding, send a gift in a price range you're comfortable with. (I, personally, would not spend $50 on someone I barely speak to.) If you could not care less, return the RSVP declining the invitation and call it a day. Send a nice card if you're so inclined but you're not obligated to do more than that.
Agree.
Think about it this way. You send a gift, she sends a thank you and then you two never speak again? Doesn't sound like a celebration of her marriage to me - sounds like she's gift grabbing. She knows darn well you can't throw together a trip to St. Thomas three weeks out.
Your post says "what is the etiquette" but I say, why give a gift to someone you don't like?
in 2009, we were invited to a wedding of DH's friend literally two weeks before. we declined and sent a card. this was a guy i'd met once in our (then) 4.5 years together. to me, we were on their "C list" at best and it just seemed like they just wanted a gift thus we felt a card wishing them our best was the sufficient. and this wasn't even someone we didn't like, just someone that DH wasn't close to. if it was someone we didn't actually like, forget it. i'd decline and send a card.