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BR: Working Mom Woes
I am having a rough time lately, ladies. and more importantly I think Janie is too.
She never napped as well at daycare as at home with me, but it was OK because she made up for it on my days off. So, she'd do two hours/day at school and 4 hours/day with me. She was generally happy and well rested.
School was pushing to drop her second nap all summer and I was battling them to keep it. Then, on vacation the last week of the Summer she seemed to be dropping it for me too. I gave school the go ahead to do one/day. Well, she sleeps for 40 mins once a day at school. She is a train wreck by the end of the day. She hits, kicks, cries, etc. She also cries HYSTERICALLY when I drop her off every.single.morning. She never used to do this.
Of course I am feeling so guilty since it all timed with when I went back to work FT. She has 5 long days at school (she's there 7:30 - 6:30) and one 40 mins nap just does not cut it. She napped for 5 HOURS Sat/Sun and slept 12 hrs at night when DH was home with her this weekend. By Sunday, she was herself again.
I just don't know what to do. School says she just doesn't sleep as well there but I'd like to try to 'force' them to at least offer 2 a day but then I am sensitive to the fact that they have more than one kid to worry about and can't very well leave Jane talking or crying in the nap room and waking up other kids.
Personally I am enjoying working FT again but life with Janie has been miserable (to the point where she is not fun to be with at all - and I hate feeling that way).
Don't know if I'm just venting or looking for advice or just been there, it gets better ?
Blah.
Re: BR: Working Mom Woes
I don't think that your daycare should be "pushing" you to drop naps for your child. That would rub me the wrong way. Jack is much older than Jane, and he still takes 2 naps some days. Every child is different, and some just need more sleep than others.
Sounds like what you need is a week off - where you, or someone, can stay home with Jane and get her back in a good nap schedule that works for HER. Whether it be getting her used to a long nap (at the sitter's house, Jack normally sleeps from 1130-230ish - all the kids do) or getting her back to her 2-a-day naps.
Also, what time is daycare putting Jane down for her nap? I noticed that with Jack, if I put him down too late, he is up again really quick. Whereas if I put him down a bit earlier, he stays down for longer. For example, he is up around 7ish everyday. One day last weekend, I put him down around 1130 for a nap (just like at the babysitters) and he was up by 1230 or 1. Which is not a bad nap, but it's short for him. On another day, he seemed tired, so I put him down around 1030 for a nap, and he slept FOREVER. Just something to think about....
We have had days like that. When she was in the other room, there was not a schedule. So other kids crying, talking, playing would wake her up. Some days she would just sleep 30 minutes and be a bear all night.
Now that she is in the toddler room, they are on a schedule. All the kids have nap time from 11:30 to 1:30. The room is dark. They are on mats (her own sheet and blanket). Now she is sleeping 1.5-2 hours a day. They do have some cribs, and when I have gone to pick her up at 4ish sometimes there is a kid napping in a crib.
I would probably ask them if she is exausted to please offer her a late afternoon nap. Especially if her naps are so short.
I am so so sorry that you guys are having to deal with this. It makes working so hard when you don't get to enjoy your kid when you come home. It feels like all you get is grumpy upset baby and not happy baby (which she is during the morning). Or times where you don't get to see her (falls asleep in the car, move her up for a nap, wake her up for dinner, she goes back down to sleep within an hour, like last night for us).
How long has she been in the room? Do they all nap at the same time? How many other kids and ages? How many weeks has she been going full time?
For us she has just started to adjust to the new room and schedule. She has been in the new room for 3 weeks and has finally adjusted.
Hugs!!!!
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Katie - I agree!
Maybe "pushing" is the wrong word. There were days where she'd nap once and I'd be all "huh, really? that is so not her" and they said "well, she went down but never slept" or "she knows the other girls (her BFFs) aren't napping and wants to play with them", etc. All of which may be true, but it may not be. I don't care if she misses out on music/reading/whatever. My feeling is she is still young enough to nap on demand (well, on a schedule, anyway). She was always on a schedule with me and school followed it as closely as they could allowing for the fact that they had other kids with schedules too, you know?
Yesterday I mentioned how she slept ALL WEEKEND and they were like "oh, good" and I was like "well, I think she needs to be offered 2 naps a day here so she doesn't sleep all weekend". yesterday she napped once. They put her down usually around 12/1.
I think I am going to set up a meeting with her teacher to discuss because it's really really bothering me. I feel like I have to be her advocate b/c it's so clear to me she's not getting something she needs, and she's suffering as a result. I mean school will tell me "oh she was really cranky today" and all I can think of is "why didn't you get her to nap?!". BLAH. Normally I love them but this is killing me.
How long has she been in the room? It's not big center with 'rooms'. She is in the Infant and Woddler class (which is 6 weeks to 2 years). In that very large space there are the infants who do one set of things and then the Woddlers (Janie).
Do they all nap at the same time? Naps are always in the dark in cribs in a different room - - though they do not all nap at the same time. My feeling/guess is that the babies nap whenever they need to (on demand) and that they try to put all the Woddlers down after lunch (schedule like Evie has). But, it's just not working for Jane.
How many other kids and ages? I think 7-8? Some are PT so it's hard to say. I know there are some baby babies and then like 3-4 right around Janie's age (14-19 mos or so).
How many weeks has she been going full time? This is week 3.
LOL. Your daughter is a Woddler. That is cracking me up...
My Blog Picture A Day Blog
I agree with this too.
I agree with everything you are freeling and what others have said. I think that it's important that she learn to fall asleep, and sleep well in places other than her crib. Perhaps on the weekends she can nap in her PNP in a different room in your house - she's obviously comfortable in the setting you provide and maybe gets some sort of anxiety about sleeping elsewhere, and maybe she is unsure how to put her self back to sleep when she wakes up at daycare when there is so much going on around her.
As far as the dropping the two naps a day, I'd say I'm the mom, I pay you, which means I make the rules for my kid - - that would rub me wrong, if she needs a nap, she needs a nap. Who are they to stop that?
We have the opposite problem. I hear from the babysitters; my cousin, mom and DH's dad that Zac will nap for 3-4 hours - what the holy hell?
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I don't have too much to add that hasn't already been said, but I agree that 12-1 seems REALLY late to be trying to put her down for her first (or only) nap.
Nora sometimes takes two naps, sometimes one. She's sort of in that "in between" phase, I guess. But when we're home with her on the weekends, we have to REALLY stretch her just to get her to 11 a.m. if we're out doing something. Otherwise, we put her down sometime between 10 and 11 these days.
I would definitely have the talk with the teacher, but I'd also say to maybe give it a bit more time to see if she adjusts. The thing is--the teachers are going to be the ones to help her adjust. They really need to be promoting two naps/day if that is what Janie needs. They need to be consistent.
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All of my girls have been on one nap a day since about 5 months old. Once they started daycare they just stuck with the one nap a day and sometimes on the weekends they'll take a morning nap, but we're lucky if we even get Abby to take one nap! Its hard for daycare cause I know our whole center has one nap time from 12-2. They turn the lights down, play lull-a-bye music etc. In my center I don't think it would be possible for any toddler to nap other than that time as there are kids playing everywhere, but at nap time they put down cots. Does she have a lovie or blanket or something that you do at home that might help her sleep better? All of my girls have lovies that they take with them for some consistency no matter where they are napping.
We went through a period where Abby didn't want to go to daycare. Some days she is happy to go, other days she wants to stay home and hang out with mommy. Now she is pretty happy to go as she is moving up to the pre-school room soon. Kids go through phases. Hopefully things will get better. I also really enjoy working so I hope my girls never really put up a fight to go to daycare!
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