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WWYD: left off the invite list? (long)

a friend of mine had their engagement party this weekend....h and i were left off the invite list. we're pretty sure it was a mistake, but me being me--am uneasy with it........we couldn't go anyways (we were in nyc), so we thought *maybe* that was why we were left off, but a few other people were also left off, that we found strange.

-h and i are both friends with both groom and bride
-they called to tell us they were engaged before it was facebook public
-we're in a very "distinct" group of friends... the same core people hang out every time we're together
-we're invited to just about every one of the couples' normal functions, big or small

we didn't even know about the party until last week weds, someone texted me and asked if we were going....she said that someone else (part of core group) was also left off the list, and people were confused.

the party was held/hosted by grooms mom. h and i never met grooms mom, but neither had the person who texted me/was invited. someone else who was left off the list, *has* met grooms mom. 

h and i are the newest "members" of the core group...they've all known each other for about 4 years, we've only known them for 1.5 yrs, but we still all hang out every single time. 

would you bring it up with b&g?

♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

image
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.

Re: WWYD: left off the invite list? (long)

  • Nope, it's their party and they probably had a reason for not inviting you and whoever else.

    IMO, at this point, bringing it up would make it potentially uncomfortable for them.

    And, it's a wedding event, not a bbq.

  • I wouldn't bring it up with B&G.  I would be hurt not being invited, but to me invitations are just not something you bring up, it seems tacky/rude to me.  B and/or G should bring up the event and (I would assume) they will mention why G's mom sucks and only let them invite XX# of guests and they are so sorry they couldn't invite you.  Or they might be douche bags and not mention the event.

    Group dynamics are hard, and once weddings invites/BIG events come into play things can get tricky.  H and I were recently left off of an invite list, and it sucks when you thought you were great friends before the event.  I hope your friends aren't douchey in the future!

    OMH est. May 7, 2011
    image
    Photo courtesy of jennygg.com
    My never updated Planning/Married Bio: http://mgoss228.weebly.com/
    Seattle Knotties: Please page me if you send me a PM!
  • And, sorry if my post came off harsh. (It's the bad mood, I swear!)

    And not saying that you're doing this, but it really bothers me when people feel entitled to be invited to a wedding, be in the wedding party, attend wedding related events, etc... 

    Weddings are fvcking expensive and it makes me angry when people start whining that they don't get invited. 


  • Ditto pp.  But, if you want to be passive-aggressive, you could ask about their party and see how they react, like "How was your engagement party?"  But, I would just leave it alone.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • that is weird..

    what does h think?

    BabyFruit Ticker BabyFetus Ticker we're having twins!
  • imagesarack:

    that is weird..

    what does h think?

    h thinks we were left off by mistake too. we are actually pretty close with the couple...h was actually the first few people that knew groom was going to propose. groom asks h for a lot of advice, since to them, we are the "ideal couple" (not my words). 

    h wanted me to ask TN....since TN knows all Smile

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
  • Were the other people not invited out of town or not able to make it either? Because honestly, I didn't go through the trouble or money sending out invites to people who I knew were not going to be able to make it. I did make sure to tell them about it though, just in case, so that's kinda weird. Or it may have just been a mistake on Mom's part, got you mixed up with someone else.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I can totally understand why you're hurt to not be invited. Seems AWFULLY weird considering a) you're part of the core group and EVEN more b) that they called you personally to tell you rather than letting you find out via general FB announcement. I'm going to throw them a bone and say perhaps they didn't send you one because they knew you'd be out of town (even though I personally say you should ALWAYS send an invite to someone even when you know they can't make it, so that THEY know they were included.)

    You can't bring it up though. However, IF they bring up wedding stuff, especially the party TO you, then you can definitely mention it casually.

    Daisypath Vacation tickers
  • imagesarahtucker:
    Were the other people not invited out of town or not able to make it either? Because honestly, I didn't go through the trouble or money sending out invites to people who I knew were not going to be able to make it. I did make sure to tell them about it though, just in case, so that's kinda weird. Or it may have just been a mistake on Mom's part, got you mixed up with someone else.

    they were e-vites, so invites didn't cost money. the other people that weren't invited could go, and were in town.

    ♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
    ♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
    ♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥

    image
    who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?

    honeymoon biomarried bioplanning bio
    jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
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